GameCola fans and writers describe their favorite (and sometimes least favorite) games of all time.
Coming to you straight from the depths of your own worst nightmare, here is the man who won the Goldeneye Tournament at the Philly Classic 3, the man who has a working pay-phone in his basement, the man who runs this very website, ladies, gentleman, and that guy from Canada who is probably GameCola’s only subscriber that I am not personally acquainted with, please give a warm round of non-apathy to Iannone!
Neal Iannone’s Top Ten Favorite Games
10. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Sega Genesis): The best Sonic title out there and furthermore one of the most well-made and well-presented games I have ever seen. The background, level design, bosses, music, GRAPHICS and overall speed and intensity cannot be beat! I think the graphics hold up TODAY! Creative enemies and stunning, crisp textures make this game a must-play experience. Didja see the ending? It was up to par with a cartoon show! Let’s not forget the bonus stage…I almost crapped myself when I saw Sonic and Tails in another dimension. The Supersonic (Supersayian) addition is a good touch for those of us who would rather conquer a game than just simply beat it!
9. Warlords (Atari 2600): 4 Bases. 4 Shields. 1 Ball. That’s all you need to know. Pretty simple right? Seemingly, but your WRONG. Warlords, even today roughly 30 years after its release is still one of the most intense and heart-pumping multiplayers out there. Who knew such a simple design would generate so much success? If you have an Atari 2600 and don’t have this game you are strange and different. You are a big stupid freak. Get it.
8. Goldeneye (Nintendo 64): A while ago this would have been number one and my number one wouldn’t even be on my list. I hated my number one at one point. I couldn’t freakin’ stand my number one. At that point, it was all about the Bond, baby. This is (was) the definitive multiplayer first person shooter. Bar none, bitch. Tons of levels with rocket launchers, Grenades, Machine guns, Pistols and of course, the MINES! This game had it all. The success generated from this game no doubt inspired Rareware to make my number 1 pick, which by the way if I hadn’t mentioned already, I HATED. Weird, huh?
7. Ninja Gaiden (NES): This game is totally kickass. It will make you crap yourself. You are this bitchin’ ninja and you just run through the levels really fast and just chop people down. Always runnin’. Always slashin’. Always badass ninja. You got special weapons along the way, too. Upgraded ninja stars and such, for example. Besides the adrenaline pumping excitement of the gameplay, I think exactly half of why I like this game is the cutscenes. One of the best for ANY game I must say, not just for NES. Needless to say that means I think it’s a pretty good NES cutscene too. It looks like a real cartoon it’s so good. Buy this game. (The second one is cooler I think, but I vowed not to play it until I beat NG1…it’s hard)
6. Final Fantasy 7 (Playstation): I’ll admit I haven’t played ALL the Final Fantasies, but I think it is safe to say that this is probably the greatest thing I have ever seen in the RPG realm. The scenery is orgasmic! I felt like I was freakin’ there! The story was absolutely captivating! The battles are killer! An all around fantastic gaming experience. This game even bestowed upon me my coveted nickname ‘ChocoNeal’ BEST. PLAYSTATION. RPG. EVER. I mean shit, did you SEE fucking KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND!!?? SHIT!
5. Dr. Mario (NES): Sweetest 2 player puzzle game you’ll ever see. It has been described as Tetris with colors. I can see that, but I feel it is much, much more. I mean you can’t do sweet deadly ass combos with Tetris. Tetris ain’t got shit, bitch. Dr. Mario is intense, with an awesome soundtrack (by the way FF7 has a bitchin’ soundtrack too, but I forgot to mention that.) and crazy ass opponent piece dumpage. I love pissin’ people off when I stop their pill chute with all the crap left over from my combos, and…WELL LOOK IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT THEN GET THE GAME! Jeez! It’s such a good game you’ll piss yourself 4 times.
4. Metal Gear Solid (Playstation): This was a movie, man. A movie. This game made me feel like I was watchin’ a totally bitchin’ movie. The music rocked and when right along with the erie, creepy, kickassedness of the game. The weapons rocked. The stealthiness and kicking ass in the game was good. The story was fantastic and the jeep part in the end not only made my pants erupt with my feces, but also made my hose expel urine into my jockey underoos. Let’s face it…This game was an incredible gaming experience and doesn’t lose it on the replay, what with the stealth suit and the bandana…plus after the 3rd time you beat it you get a tux…Ok so I beat it a shitloada times…I’m just a man!
3. Legendary Wings (NES): WOW. That is all that hasta be said. This game transports you to a strange futuristic/Egyptian/Roman/Greek/A shitloada other places/ land where you play the role of a legendary solider…a badass with a huge gun and wings. You fly through 5 levels in this weird world battling exotic creatures and all the while upgrading your huge gun. The best power is fire bird which is basically a bird on fire. MONDO badass even today. Capcom really had its shit together with this one, lemme tell ya. Anyway, the quest you are on is to seek out and kill the devil. The devil in this game however is not the standard red dude with the horns and goatlegs…Oh no…He’s this huge mechanical thing that shoots brain matter and eye balls at you. Anyway the levels are a bit repetitive but it is not a bad thing. This game = good. Replay value = incredible (I should know, I beat it 40 bajillian times.) But if you have an NES get it. It is not famous so it’ll be cheap.
2. Balloon Fight (NES): This is the best game on NES. It is the most fun thing you will ever see in your life. The music is fantasticly fun. The game is simply you with balloons fighting bad dudes on balloons. That’s it. The pure simplicity of this game makes it Neal’s number 1 on the NES. The flying takes 1 second to learn and a lifetime to master. Add into this game a killer fish, unpredictable propellers, and a lightning spewing clouds and you have the craziest, simplest, bitchin’est NES game ever. Plus the 2nd mode of play BALLOONTRIP is pretty freakin’ good too. BUY THIS GAME! IT IS EVEN LESS KNOWN THAN LEGENDARY WINGS AND YOU ARE GOING TO BUY THAT TOO.
1. Perfect Dark (Nintendo 64): This game usta suck. I hated it…What a fool I was. This game is simply the greatest multiplayer first person shooter there is. (previous holder of this title = Bond) The game is basically Bond, but here’s the diff, yo! First, the guns are much more spacey then the traditional “machine guns” and whathaveyou, which were ok, but with creative guns comes creative functions. For example, there’s a gun called the Laptop gun. It’s a standard machine gun one second, but when you throw it on the wall it shoots anyone that walks by! One of my favorites, the Slayer, is a rocket launcher one second, and a remote controlled death delivery system the next! Every weapon has a secondary function that just makes the game 40x cooler. Another improvement from Bond is the greater number and quality level of the arenas and characters (now you can change their heads and rename them) and also the modes of play. You can fight with other players against simulants which, by the way, you couldn’t do in Bond. All the favorites from Bond like Flag Tag and such are their (here called “hold the briefcase”) and summore new ones like King of the Hill and Capture the Briefcase. There’s also a bitchin’ combat trainer and a shooting range. Yada Yada fantastic music and gameplay feel. This game is spectacular. A lifetime to master. You will hate the game at first. I PROMISE YOU! Hell, I hated this game and now it has risen to the ranks of NUMBER FREAKIN’ ONE! So when you hate the game, don’t let that stop you from purchasing it because I know you will grow to love it. BUY. NOW.