Carbonated News (January 2004)

- Well it sure took them long enough.  Sega is in the process of suing Electronic Arts over EA's 2001 Simpson's Road Rage.  Sega is claiming that Road Rage was designed to "deliberately copy and imi

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Road Rage– Well it sure took them long enough.  Sega is in the process of suing Electronic Arts over EA’s 2001 Simpson’s Road Rage.  Sega is claiming that Road Rage was designed to “deliberately copy and imitate” Sega’s own Crazy Taxi. Well…. duh.  Road Rage is, after all, a PARODY of Crazy Taxi, after all.  It kinda makes sense that it would both copy and imitate Crazy Taxi.  And what the hell took Sega so long to think this up, anyway?   Road Rage has been out for around two years.  Did they just finally notice that Road Rage exists or something?  Anyway, the lawsuit seeks to stop the sale or import of Simpsons Road Rage… which would possibly have done something two years ago, but now isn’t a huge deal at all.  This is the dumbest thing I’ve heard all month.

– Does anyone who reads GameCola actually remember when Space Invaders originally came out, or are you all like me and were born after the heyday of Atari?  Regardless, it’s kinda neat that Taito has restarted sales of Space Invaders in the United States.  This isn’t yet another package of classic Atari games or something to play on your cell phone while waiting two hours for the school bus to finally arrive;  Taito is actually intending to sell Space Invaders arcade units here in the U.S.  Too bad there aren’t actually any arcades left.

– Yet another video game developer has bought the farm.  Black Isle Studios, known for titles such as those in the Fallout series, the Icewind Dale series, and Planescape: Torment, as been completely shut down by Interplay.  Black Isle had been working on the newest game in the Fallout series when Interplay decided that they didn’t need Black Isle around anymore.  It is not currently known why the developer was shut down, but GameCola is sad to see them go.  Even though I never played many of their titles.  I think I have Icewind Dale sitting on my computer game shelf, though

– I take it back, THIS is the dumbest lawsuit this month: New York City’s Haitian community has appealed to Mayor Michael Bloomberg to take action against Take-Two Interactive due to some supposed racism in their mega-hit title Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.  There’s a mission in the game where you are instructed to “Kill all the Haitians”, and the real-life Haitians took offense to it.  They think that Take-Two put it in there because they hate Haitians, or something along those lines.  Seriously, these people got their panties all twisted because of something that amounts to no more than a “collect all the red coins” in Super Mario 64.  That’s all it is.  Nintendo wasn’t playa-hatin’ on red coins when they put that in their game, and neither is Rockstar.  You know what’s worse, though?  Take-Two actually LISTENED to these pests!  They removed the line from all forthcoming copies of Vice City!  Can you believe it?  Of all the stupid things… *sigh*

– On to something less stupid, everyone’s second favorite plumber (Luigi 0wnz j00) has become the first-ever video game character to be featured in the Hollywood Wax Museum.  That’s right.  Super Mario can be found along such wax luminaries as Tom Hanks, Cher, and Governor Schwarzenegger.  I, for one, think this is great.  We need more wax statues of video game characters!  How about Sonic, or Samus,  or even that weird ungendered thing from Secret of Mana?  Or better yet, there could be an entire museum devoted to wax sculptures of video game characters!!  Problem is.. that’ll require a lot of wax, especially for wax sculptures of Bowser and Robotnik.  Is there anyone out there who hasn’t cleaned their ear’s in a while?  Okay, I’m spent with this news bit now.

– Here’s some more Nintendo news for you:  there’s a new Kirby game coming out!  Dubbed “Kirby: The Labyrinth in the Mirror“,  this new Game Boy Advance title will feature the same 2D gameplay as the older titles, but will also have some multiplayer stuff.  Er.. wait.. didn’t the last Kirby GBA game have some multiplayer stuff?  Ah well.  This one sounds more involved or something.  Maybe it’ll be better than the Kirby cartoon on Fox Box.. I just can’t get into that show.

– To end this month’s Carbonated News, I bring you something that will no doubt be totally shocking: Duke Nukem Forever has been delayed, this time until the fourth quarter of 2004 at the earliest.  Yes, the title that 3D Realms announced back in 1997 may not be available until 2005 — eight years after it started being developed.  You know what else got delayed a lot?  The new Tomb Raider.  And that game sure didn’t turn out the better for it.  As much as I’d love to see a new and improved Duke Nukem (I’m a huge fan of Duke Nukem 64), I don’t think the new game is going to cut the mustard in any sense of the phrase.  It’s a shame.

But at least Mario’s been carved into wax!!

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