Chapter Fourteen:
All is Right with the World
Winners: Render & Rivers
Losers: Barin & Apul
Rivers: Ha! Take a look at that!
Render: Was there ever any doubt?
Barin: What the hell?
Apul: That ain’t fair!!
Render: How’s that not fair? There was a vote. You lost.
Apul: Arrg! I’ll have yer head fer dis!!!
Render: Hmm… Three things. One: You are supposed to be fighting Rivers, not me. Two: You lost already, what makes you think you can win now? Three: You reeeeeeeeeeally need to work on your speaking skills, you’re barely understandable.
Apul: ARR! ME WUN BEER!!
Narrator: With that, Rivers’ disgust meter reached its peak. He violently grabbed Apul’s face and immediately unleashed his fusion power directly on it.
Rivers: I’ve really had enough of him.
Apul: mmmmmMMm.
Barin: What the hell did you do??
Render: Fused his mouth closed, obviously.
Barin: You bastards! You won’t get away with this!!
Rivers: Huh… I did him a favor and he gets all irritable.
Render: Yea, really. He should be more grateful.
Barin: Enough talk! Have at thee!
Render: Do you really have to keep talking like some boring, cliche hero from a poorly written fantasy novel? It’s getting quite irksome.
Enrique & Jonathan: I agree.
Render: Well, it seems we just need to wrap up these two loose ends here and we can finally be on our way to the ship.
Rivers: How long has it been since we started trying to get there?
Render: Seems like half a year.
Barin: Enough talk, let’s fight!!
Render: *sigh* Couldn’t you have fused his mouth shut?
Barin: Enough Ta—
Narrator: Thankfully, before Barin could finish his sentence, Render, Rivers, Enrique, and Jonathan simultaneously punched him in the head. He crumpled to the ground, and the four turned toward Apul.
Apul: Mmmmm!
Render: Exactly.
Narrator: Of course, what Apul said was “Yuh meen I can’t drink none moor beer?”. The realization that he would no longer be able to drink his everytihngs away hit him like a ton of feathers, and he simply passed out.
Jonathan: Well, that was easy.
Enrique: Good times.
Render: It’s about time we get to the ship, then.
Rivers: ’bout time.
!MEANWHILE!
Najen: Owwww! Of all the places we could have landed, did it have to be a desert? A hot desert?? A hot desert in the middle of the day???
Dugo: You really shouldn’t have kicked him in the face.
Najen: Oh yea, I was somehow supposed to predict that kicking him in the face would cause him to set my boots on fire and then paralyze us and have a friggin’ minotaur toss us into the middle of the desert a million miles away. My bad.
Dugo: Just quit complaining and keep walking.
Najen: Easy for you to say. This is all your fault, you know.
Dugo: MY fault?? How is this my fault?
Najen: Just shut up and carry me for a while.
Dugo: No.
Narrator: *huff puff* Man… I deserve way more pay for having to run y self all the way across the damned ocean just to watch these two yahoos hop around. Anyway, despite the whatever blah blah blah and then she jumped on his back the end.
Najen: He’s really slipping up.
Narrator: Who asked you, eh?
Dugo: Nobody.
Narrator: Exactly. So just be quiet.
!MEANWHILE!
Narrator: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.
!MEANWHILE!
Narrator: I get the point.
!MEANWHILE!
Narrator: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Render: Huh? Why’s he screaming?
Enrique: Dunno.
Rivers: Are we at the ship yet?
Jonathan: Nope, we haven’t moved since we went to the first meanwhile.
Render: Let’s get going, then!
Narrator: So the group continued their endless trek towards their elusive ship. Will they ever get there? Let the GATES OF LIFE decide! Muahahahahahahahahahaha!
Which Gate Do You Choose?
Gate Yellow:
Narrator: Yes, they get to the ship!
Gate Orange:
Narrator: No, they don’t get to the ship!
This poll ends on August 7.
