General Comments
Why are all the writers “Staff” writers. None of the other people are staff things. No Staff Cartoonists, Staff Associate Editors, or Staff Web Developers.
What’s so wrong with the term “writer” that it’s insufficient to describe those 13 people?
Assuming there is something wrong with it, my follow up question is: Why can Cartoonists just be called Cartoonists?
– Matt
The SWAG needs updating. Loafy Carl hasn’t existed for at least a decade now. We need some new duds for all the customer who purchase stuff from the store!
Also, the DCW bumper sticker seems like it would be really hard to see. I think one of the Associate
Editors should get on making an improved bumper sticker design.
– Matt
Christian: Well, here’s a good idea for extra swag. I’ve been listening to our female readership’s outcry and they’ve all been saying the same thing: “I love the website, but I’d like to see it in a more portable version… A portable, cloth version… that will cover my snatch.”
That’s where GameCola thong panties from CafePress come in.
You sure write about your gilfirnd alot Paul
– Father Time
if you have a editor who types all of this up, why does father time’s stories still have a million errors even when it has gone through an editing process
– The Great Khali
Paul: Well, see, I fixed all the typos in his story last month, and in doing so I feel I killed some of its charm. So I decided to leave it as-is this time around.
This was a great Versus—while it was neck and neck nearly the whole way through, I’ve gotta give it to Danielle. Using the term “wife aggro” (which is also gaining widespread use on Final Fantasy XI) sealed the deal.
– Steve
I’ve never seen the word pants used in such a way before. It’s downright pants. Downright pants…Down…right…pants… Pants right down? Yeah? You mean like it’s so shitty that it’s like getting your pants suddenly pulled down in the middle of your 10-years-younger-than-you girlfriend’s junior prom in front of all the other giggling teenage girls who find it oh so hilarious that the cool breeze turned your trouser beast nearly inside out? That does suck. Mark Ecko is totally pants.
Final Fantasy XI is the boxer briefs to those very same pants.
– Matt
Steve: Philistine. 😉
Sorry but Christian totally won this battle…his arguments were well spoken and didn’t slam the first Amendment!
– Gina
Danielle: Totally agree. Christian is fab, and I hate to say it…but he has better hair than me 🙁
Alright, no we’re getting somewhere. You’ve got my attention with the skin tight body suit. Keep up the gooood work.
– Cuddly Colin
Hehe that’s brillaint! Keep it up, this cartoon is great! 🙂
– Danielle
I dotns ee what this has to do with rpgs sorry
– Father Time
I have no idea what in the world Father Time was trying to say above but I do know one thing…you don’t sound like you’ve ever played a side scrolling shooter! (kidding)
Actually, you have me hyped to go track down a new SNES…I sold my one away for the Dreamcast. Big mistake!
– Gina
Alex: Hey, the Dreamcast was pretty cool. Just that it didn’t have many games, and all of the games that were made for it were later ported the to PS2 when Sega went under… But, uh…
Oh, yeah. The game is alot of fun, in my opinion, but it’s pretty short. I mean, there are plenty of reasons to go get an SNES, but unless you can get one in under an hour, I wouldn’t spend the time just so you can play Gradius III! Hmm, there were alot of good SNES games, though.
Christian’s review of Ouverture Facile
Unfortunately, this sounds complicated no matter how enthusiastically you talk about it. But, complicated can be cool…one problem with this review…where can I find this game on the net?!
– Gina
Christian: The game’s here: http://www.ouverture-facile.com/
I know, it sounds complicated, and it is sometimes, but if you dig a non-traditional puzzle game that makes you think way outside the box it’s pretty cool. I know it’s not for everyone though, I’m just gay for a good puzzle game.
I have to agree with the point that it sounds way complicated no matter how good it may be.
“It requires a lot of thinking outside the box, math skills, basic HTML knowledge, basic Photoshop skill, hex editing knowledge and more…”
Everything after “math skills” is very confusing to me. Not the skills themselves, but the reasoning behind putting them in a puzzle game. I guess I can’t expect anything French to make much sense. It was probably all an idea of Le Roi de coeur.
– Matt
I hate that I ever found this. These things are insane.
– Richo
A.E.’s review of Monopoly/Boggle/Yahtzee/Battleship
I don’t understand what is so novel about 4 board games being put together in one game. It’s not like such games have never been made into multi-game sets before. It’s also not even like these games haven’t already been made into videogames. Yet, it got a near perfect novelty score. I’d enjoy reading an explanation, if one exists.
– Matt
WOW! This was a really short review…and honestly I didn’t really get a good idea of whether or not it was even worth my time. The novelty value is clearly interesting but isn’t it more fueled by it being on the DS than anything else? Sorry to pan you…just was left with more questions than answers…
– Gina
f the population of dipshits in the world drastically decreased. would nintendo survive? would the video game industry survive? would any industry survive?
– The Great Khali
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with owning a game boy micro.
– Matt
testgame.exe: Making the Adventure
i have noticed a lack of punjabi prisons in this game. highly disappointing
– The Great Khali
Lizo: The game’s not over yet—you never know what might show up!
Captain Eric’s Super Thumb Feature Presentation
Its eric yay!! My favorite writer. THUMBS UP
– Father Time
You mean no one else you know has played Yoshi? That game was just as addicting as any puzzle game.
– Andrew
how can one find out their own bibletasticness rating
– The Great Khali
Christian: You must go to the Church of the Subgenius and ask J.R. “Bob” Dobbs directly.
Brilliant. This article is brilliant. AND bibletastic.
– sperfur
I dont believe in god..
– Father Time
Link’s Burden: Time to Save the World Again
Beyond Good and Evil kicks the living ass out of Zelda. It actually has substance to it, unlike the long pointless wankfest that Zelda is. LINK SHOULD TEACH THE KIDS BETTER 😛
Good article though.
– Matt F.
Gina: WOW! One person read my article…I feel honored. Yes, I agree Beyond Good and Evil does kick the hell out of Zelda…but Zelda deserves to be made fun of…forever.
Y’know, I’ve had that game sitting in the other room, unplayed for months. I’m such a hoarder. I should probably give it a try.
– Christian
Beyond Good and Evil has got to be the most overrated underrated game of all time.
– Matt
I just can’t understand what in the world is going on…Even after ten lines…it really is incoherent jabbering. I think I would have more luck deciphering a chat transcript about recombinant DNA structures. I’m sorry! I just really got lost.
– Gina
Digital Championship Wrestling
PHEW I am glad jack didnt replace eric!
– Father Time
Illegitimate win? Who are you to talk about legitimacy? You, who invented the idea that Ecco the Dolphin wins royal rumbles by default since he has no feet. You are completely shameless. I can’t wait till the powers that be set me up in your place for good.
– Jack
Umm…all I can think of is Ogre saying the same thing in my head again and again…”NERD!”
But then again I wrote a screenplay about Link having a conversation with a Peahat…what ground do I really have to stand on?
But frankly, I can’t see myself ever keeping an online journal about my playing exp on World of Warcraft…it would go sort of like this…joined a guild…quit a guild…sold some stuff…went to the auction house…met a mage…we talked about smurfs.
My online playing experience just isn’t that quite focused as your own. I did like your little interchange with your daughter however. She’s a gamer…don’t let your wife stop it for one second!
– Gina
Steve: There are days when I feel like my journal reads a lot like “killed things – got xp – leveled up – went to bed”. 🙂
i found it so very humorous. i especially loved the random digital characters running in. infact i made my friends watch those parts over and over.
– The Great Khali
I’m just glad my article got a higher rating…I mean really…any Indie piece of crap that would attempt a movie based on a videogame my boyfriend gave me simply because it has Asian flava and well I can beat up thugs for their lunch money…should not be given any more publicity than necessary…it’s sort of like when you watch CosPlayers at an Anime convention attempt to have a script about some series only they know about. Yeah, I lost interest three seconds in too.
– Gina
Matt: Your article got a higher rating than what? The movie? Or were you saying it got a higher rating than my article, which was unrated at the time of your post? Either way, I don’t understand where you were going with that.
Eric vs. The Pirate
Arrr said the pirate as he advanced upon eric who was on his ship wiating for hsi attack. The priate brandished a cutlass but eric brandished his own and they fought.
Two minutes later eric had severed the pirates arm but the pirate was still reeling catching his breath and moving in for another strike. He did so but eric was stoo quicvk for him, he dodged right and the pirate fell into the ocean and was eatedn by six sharks.
But then the six sharkes jumped onto the ship!! They all surrounded eric in a cricle and took turns biting at him, and they also took turns getting slashed by eric and hsi cutlass they all fell quickly. The flooring of erics ship was littered with shark innards and shark eyeballs.
Eric and his mysterious friend who was in the shicps cabin at the time then feasted on sharkmeat that night. The mysterious friend known only by the initials “F.T.” was his best firend in the whole world. Eric and “F.T.” met online and instatnly became friends. Theyd had many adventures together before and had many yet to come maybe even one will be talked about next month THE END.
– Father Time
