Reviews of Virtual Console titles released in March 2008 by Myrtle T. Blinkin, Senior Citizen
March 3rd, 2008
Super Turrican, Factor 5, SNES: 
“You know who is a super toucan? That Toucan Sam. It’s a shame his son went on to kill all those people, you know, Son of Toucan Sam. He stood proud and continued to sell cereal up until his death in 1984.”
March 10th, 2008
Puyo Puyo 2: Tsuu, Sega, Genesis: 
“I am sick and tired of you speakin’ the devil’s tongue in my kitchen! Go on! Get out or I will hit you with my spoons!”
DoReMi Fantasy: Milon’s Dokidoki, Hudson Soft, SNES: 
“I am sick and tired of you speakin’ the devils tongue in my living room! Get out! Go on or I will sodomize you with my…what were you doing again?”
March 17th, 2008
Spelunker, Tozai, NES: 
“My first husband used to go spelunking until he got in trouble with Injun Joe. Oh, Thomas, where for art thou?”
Super R-Type, Irem, SNES:
“The doctor said my cancer was a super r-type, but I didn’t know what it meant, so I asked the boy down the street, little Jimmy, and he told me that he liked frogs. I like frogs too. They’re so jumpy!”
March 24th, 2008
King’s Knight, Square Enix, NES:
“When I was a little girl, my parents couldn’t afford a king’s night, so we slept in boxes. They couldn’t afford those either, it was the depression, you know, so we slept in the boxes we stole from papa’s box factory. “
Powerball, Namco Bandai, Genesis: 
“I play the lottery every week. I’m 112 years old so I should win it all any day now.”
March 31st, 2008
Wonder Boy, Sega, Master System:
“Wonder, boy? Boy, I wonder all the time. I wonder wonder wonder who wrote the book of Wonder Boy. I wonder, boy.”
Cruis’n USA, Nintendo, N64:
“No. I’m not thinking right now. I do not brain today, not until my husband comes home, and don’t you tell me he’s dead because I know he isn’t.”
