I Want Nintendo to Build Me a PC

I am in the middle of a major headache right now.

About four and a half years ago, my brother and I built a computer for me from scratch. We used Newegg for the parts, and made sure that everything we selected was well-reviewed and compatible. I like to think I’ve treated my machine decently over the years: no overclocking, regular virus/malware checks, and routine maintenance. Yet, at least once a year a part goes up and I have to replace it.

Most recently, the power supply failed, so I had to get a new one of those. “No problem,” I said, since it was almost five years old and it was about time to replace it anyway. When I got my new power supply, however, I found that the motherboard and/or processor had died too, which will cost me at least $200 more to replace. There’s also a chance that my VGA card, RAM, and hard-drive have gone up, too, but I won’t know that until I get a chance to do some more testing.

Here’s my point: I’m sick of repairing my PC and I don’t trust any of the current PC companies to build me one (that includes those smug Apple bastards). My dream scenario would be if Nintendo started making PCs. Think about it! THEY WOULD NEVER BREAK. Nintendo makes their products incredibly sturdy, and there’s no doubt in my mind that any PC they’d make could be dropped, kicked, or otherwise tortured and still function well for ten or more years. And have you ever had to use Nintendo’s warranty program? It’s heavenly. You call them up, speak to a very nice person, and if your machine is still under warranty, they repair it. DONE. If your machine isn’t under warranty, they can sell you a refurbished unit for each, WHICH THEN GETS A NEW WARRANTY.

Nintendo, if you’re reading this, please build me a PC. I’m sick of dealing with mine, and I trust you guys. Plus, you’d also have control of just about every gaming platform I use—which, if you ask me, is a win-win situation.

So…pretty please?