I am pleased and bewildered to announce that I am officially engaged!
No, this article does not belong under “Fiction.” Stop it.
Evidently, prolonged exposure to GameCola leads to spontaneous engagement, marriage, and combustion, as we’ve seen from Paul and Lizo, Mike and Vangie, Edgeworth and Von Karma, Michael Gray and the princess, and Christian Porter and His Probably Not Imaginary Wife (we still can’t believe he’s married, and I don’t even know if he was hitched before joining the staff, but he’s as likely as anyone to catch on fire). Oh, and let’s not rule out Zach Rich, because his sudden disappearance from the GameCola staff was never conclusively linked to the MOOOOOOOOOON PEOPLE.
I’ve already described my appropriately geeky four-part proposal story in nauseatingly sweet detail on my blog, so I’m'a direct you there for specifics. The short version is that my relentless enthusiasm for Mega Man helped to secure me a member of the fairer sex as a future permanent fixture in my home, so don’t ever listen when your fellow staff members beg you to talk about other games, or you’ll never get engaged to my girlfriend by presenting her with a ring-bearing statue of Ring Man from Mega Man 4 made entirely out of LEGOs.
That’s pretty awesome. I wish I were as cool as me.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
Nathaniel Hoover lazily administrates the GameCola YouTube channel (GCDotNet) and writes/edits new articles such as his "Flash Flood" and "Sprite Flicker" columns on a "whenever common decency demands it" basis. If he didn't mention Mega Man in the article you just read, you're probably not looking hard enough. 
Diana (angelfire141) (9)
rizziman33 (6)
JoeReviewer (4)
AnimeF***Head (1)
CaptainZM (1)
Jim Connolly (1)
massielita (1)
Matt (1)
Murat (1)
Nam (1)
The idea is to stick around GameCola until I find myself married, or on fire.
A winner is you, good sir. Congratulations!
Fixture? Nice…
I got married in my 2008 Gamecola hiatus. One of the reasons I took it. I get “I’m surprised you’re married” a lot. I’ve always figured it was a nice way of saying “Good lord, I can’t believe a woman would want to engage in marital congress with you.” which I completely concur with.
Oh, and congratulations, of course! Despite what science and sociology may teach us, apparently hanging around a small videogame blog all the time gets people laid after all.
Ha! A hearty “thank you” and firm nod of appreciation to all of you. Er, both of you. Matt, may all your dreams come true–that is, I hope you find a wife who sets you on fire.
thatd be funny,make sure if your wife lights you on fire make a video,and its in the wrong category,it should be under nathaniels ramblings about things everyone knows because of his blog,dontt have thatDONUT!!!!!!um category than under fiction
…right.
I suppose we’re all liable to succumb to the throes of marriage at some point; I imagine 90 percent of all people who live past 18 get married. So congratulations, and here’s hoping it doesn’t affect your sense of humor on GC.
Oh, not to worry, John. She’s a geek and encourages things like GameCola. Thanks for the congratulations!
(Wait…none of my comment was funny at all. Maybe she IS affecting my sense of humor!!)
I’m glad; the primary reason I am an avid GameCola reader is the humor almost all writers incorporate into their work.