Disclaimer: The following article, by virtue of being about an adult-themed videogame, will contain a lot of offensive and/or not-safe-for-work and/or not-safe-for-underage-viewers material. Please read at your own discretion. Or your parents’ discretion, if you don’t have any of your own.
Secondary Disclaimer: Do not get caught reading this article by ANYONE. If you get caught at work, you will be fired. If you get caught by your wife, she will divorce you. If you get caught by your parents, you will be in for a seriously uncomfortable lecture, and then kicked out of your basement apartment.
EXTRA WARNING: THERE WILL BE EXPLICIT IMAGES IN THIS ARTICLE. THERE WILL BE POOP AND PEE AND BOOBS. IT CAN’T BE AVOIDED. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING AT ALL, IT WILL BE THIS GAME. DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE.
By continuing to the review, you are confirming that you are 18 years of age or older. And you are promising not to sue us if/when your sensibilities are offended.
I feel like such a monster now for suggesting this.
needed more warnings IMO
also. 3 seems awfully high
I want to read this, but I don’t want to see poop. I’M SO TORN.
You do not want to read this. No one wants to read this.
They made a video game starring all of my ex-girlfriends?
Is this coming to the DS anytime soon?
This was hilarious. I’m sorry we did this to you, Mr. Gardner. No hard feelings? (I presume not given your description of the content).
Wow, Matt. I am genuinely impressed. Considering how painful that was to read, I can’t imagine how bad it must have been to write. I give you major props for your willingness to suffer for your art.
You ARE a monster, Paul.
@Eric
I had to give it credit for fetish content, since I imagine it’s pretty erotic to people who like poop and whatnot. Hence the 3. If you don’t like the content, it’s more of a -5, which is average mega-terrible.
@Nikola
Just one poop image! More pee, though.
@Matt
Don’t worry, I have a hate note coming up for you all in the form of an OTM. Keep your eye’s peeled, as it, in addition to hatred, will have info regarding the next review (which will come a lot quicker [break for “that’s what she said”], since the on-deck games don’t involve squirt farts and diarrhea sound effects.)
@Vangie
I seriously had to play through the game about 27 times to feel justified that I’d experienced all it had to offer. Talk about a true artist! Although, it did take me like 7 months.
Wow. Everything depraved about sexuality, seemingly all in one article! Humorous, though, because you wouldn’t even have needed to add sarcasm to the tone of the article to make the images and presented game dialogue amusing.
gfhhgfui
Oh my, this made me laugh. So awesomely uncomfortable. I was making the same facial expression whilst reading this as I do when watching documentaries about complex vaginal reconstruction surgery (which is surprisingly often). You are brave and selfess and I salute you.
Uh…I suppose I should rephrase what I said. I am neither a fan of poop nor pee.
It wasn’t like I was “Oh gross poop.”
And then you’d be like “Only a little poop. Lots of pee though!”
And my response would be “PEE! GLORIOUS PEE! LET ME BATHE IN IT! A LITTLE POOP CAN BE FORGIVEN!”
I’m not R Kelly. Geez.
I did read it though. And Paul is a monster.
Why would anyone think that women would actually ENJOY having excrement on them. Would you like to be forced against your will to have someone do weez on you?It defies logic. Whoever makes these games are as bad as rapists, in fact they probably are rapists and they make the world a shit place to live in.
as hilarious as your pun was at the end, sam, people have fetishes for nearly anything, scat is actually one of the more common ones, i for example have a fetish for fruits inserted inside urethras, a less common one, so never doubt theres a market