Fabricated News: New Super Mario Bros. Movie

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Rumor has it Nintendo of America is secretly developing a new Super Mario Bros. movie! Rumor has it Terry Crews will be taking up the role of older brother Mario. Thought details are slim, production could’ve been halted due to Crews’ prolific Old Spice┬ácommercials. But with the recent conclusion of the Make A Smellmitment series, perhaps work could begin anew? No word yet on whether Isaiah Mustafa will also be taking up a role in the movie (perhaps as Luigi?), however Nintendo has been tight-lipped regarding this! I recently reached out to Nintendo of America and after answering questions like, “Who are you?” and “How did you get this number?” the only official response I received was, “You’re a fucking moron.”


A leaked trailer appeared on Youtube, Nintendo of America declined a comment.

Plot details are sparse, but it seems to focus on Mario having to complete his goal in a set amount of time. Perhaps it’s a plot similar to the Crank movies, where Bowser’s cursed Mario to lose his power unless he can surmount all odds? It seems to reuse Peach’s Castle as a setting, and maybe even the paintings from Super Mario 64 will return as well. With only sixteen hours left, how will Mario defeat Bowser this time? Only time will tell, and I eagerly await this new movie!

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About the Contributor

Obviously, I'm Robyn. I'm nonbinary/gender neutral(my pronouns are xe/hir), into videogames, and other stuff. Somehow I found myself on this corner of the internet. I hope we all can be friends and have a good year together at this school!

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