Volume 4, Issue 2 - February 2005 Quenching Your Thirst For Video Entertainment © Best Viewed in 1280x1024

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Table of Contents
I. Dear Readers II. Submissions III. How to Avoid Having Your       Head Eaten IV. Reviews!        A. Shark! Shark! (IV)       B. Friday the 13th (NES)       C. General Chaos (SG)       D. Perfect Dark (N64)       E. Eternal Darkness - Sanity's             Requiem (GCN)                  F. Super Mario 64 DS (NDS)  V. Your Top 10 Least Favorite        Video Games VI. Christmas: UNLEASHED VII. The Gates of Life VIII. Captain Eric's Super Thumb          Feature Presentation IX. Versus Mode X. Oh, the Humanity! XI. Be Careful What You Search For XII. Digital Championship Wrestling XIII. 0wning the Competition XIV. ... of the Month XV. Free Stuff for Feedback

 

Starring:
Also Featuring: In love and hurting, Tanner, Travis Combs, Adam Bickley, Dan Rodman, and Heather Keels.

I. Dear Readers,

    As part of my New Year's Resolution to finally have more readers than I have college courses this semester, I've been driving down the Information Superhighway in search of video game-related sites worthy of becoming GameCola affiliates. One site that I've had on my radar for a long time is Secret of Mana Theater, and to be perfectly honest, I never expected that they'd wanna trade links with us.

    Out of all the sites I've contacted about link-swapping over the past month, Secret of Mana Theater is without a doubt the most well-known.  Since May of 2002 (which is actually about the same time that GameCola was founded), SoMT has been publishing webcomics based on, appropriately, mega-awesome Super Nintendo title Secret of Mana, at the rate of about two comics per week.  The author uses actual sprites, animations, sound effects and music from the game to create original movies of about a few minutes in length.  SoMT doesn't completely follow the plot of its source material, but as the creator explains it:

"One of the reasons I chose SoM as the video game to parody, is that the character development were minute enough that 
I could fill them out as I chose, and because there was so little story development, I could round and fill out as I saw fit."

    So hey, after you've had your fill of pro-wrestling matches between video game characters, and Render's quest to once again have a plot, check some of this guy's comics out.  I'd recommend starting from the beginning and working your way up to the present, but that could take a few decades.  Still, it's definitely worth it if you've got the time; the author has a great sense of humor, and he really let's it shine in his comics.  Remember, I wouldn't be promoting the guy if I didn't actually like his site; trust me on this one. 

         Love,

P.S. Do you have a video game-related website of your own, or do you know someone that does?  Interested in swapping graphical links with the 'Cola?  Drop me a line and I'll see if we can work something out.

Great Moments in Gaming

My friends at GameCola:

I know a description is not necessary, but I find it necessary.  As for the first part (DKC), I remember it being THE GAME to have in 1994.  I got it and spent endless hours trying to hit 101%.

The Concrete Donkey, however, is a completely different story.  I loved the entire Worms series ever since my cousin introduced me to the original Worms for DOS.  The crazy weapons always hit me as a completely different way to play such a well executed game.

Your Haiku Master,

Adam Bickley

- Eric Regan

III.   

    Did you know that there are GameCola forums? Did you know that a lot of cool people hang out at the GameCola forums? INCLUDING most of the GameCola staff? And YOU, the loyal reader, can chat with them on these forums anytime!

    We also post special information to our forums' readers. Stuff like how to access the GameCola chat room where you can chat LIVE with other GC readers and staff. You won't find that by lurking around the articles here, oh no. You can only find that type of information in our forums. 

    Don't know how to get to our forums? Take a look towards the top of the browser. Up there you see a bunch of buttons. The "community" button will take you to our community center, with links to the forums and the soon-to-be chat room. 

    So I leave you with this final statement: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO CLICK THE BUTTON AND JOIN OUR FORUMS. Don't make summon Cthulhu to eat your head because you didn't. 

- Kevin Leacock

    War! The nation of Moronica is going to war! Join the Moronic Army and General Chaos and fight against the evil, monocle-wearing General Havoc of Viceria! Weapons, fighting and pointless death -- this game's got it all.

    Released in 1993, General Chaos, self-described as "The Arcade Action Battlegame of Paramilitary Pandemonium!" is a basic third-person combat strategy game. The game opens directly to a selection screen with four modes - one player, two player co-op, two player versus, and a straightforward, interactive tutorial Boot Camp. Each mode except Boot Camp is just simple fighting. You control a group of five soldiers with different weapons, whom you direct where to go and when to shoot. The gameplay is very simple; the player controls the cursor and directs where the soldiers should move. They aim automatically, but only fire when commanded to. A soldier can also enter close combat in a hand-to-hand fighting mode. Frequently your blue soldier will manage to inexplicably knock your opponent down without completely defeating him, whereupon the red opponent will produce a pistol and shoot your soldier in the stomach. Doesn't sound fair, you say? Well, war is hell. Should a soldier fall, a medic can rescue him, but there are a limited number of medics, determined by your score. 

    General Chaos's primary fault lies in its control. Managing five soldiers at the same time can be rather difficult, especially when one has to incessantly jab the A button to fire. I found myself easily getting sidetracked when directing troop movement, finding my soldiers cut down after I forgot to keep pushing A. This problem is somewhat removed in co-op multiplayer, however, when each player has to concentrate on two soldiers with a different, more direct control configuration. 

    As with any war, you win some battles and lose some. After less than an hour of gameplay I did indeed defeat General Havoc in his capital, only to find that the red snake (why are the good guys always blue and the bad guys always red?) had escaped and - worse - the war was still on! The game has a feeling of redundancy, but, as with the gameplay, this is somewhat alleviated in multiplayer. The graphics are average - nothing overly special, but well done - while the sound is also decent, with each weapon given a specific sound. 

    General Chaos is hard to dislike. It is clear that a great deal of thought was put into the design and incorporation of comic element into the game. Before it gets redundant, the game is fun, and it is an excellent multiplayer choice for Genesis. General Chaos is definitely worth a try. 

Platform: Nintendo 64
Genre: First-Person Shooter
# of Players: 1-4
ESRB Rating: M - Mature
US Release: May 2000
Developer: Rare
Publisher: Nintendo

    For those of you who’ve read the previous issues, you know that I put Perfect Dark very high in my Top Ten games listing of a few months back. I’m hoping this review gives a more thorough explanation of why this game rocks my world. 

    I bought this game when I was going through a, very heavy, stoner stage of my life (which I’ve since completely quit!). My day consisted of the following: wake up, have bongs, play Perfect Dark with my fiancée, go to work. Come home for lunch, have bongs, play Perfect Dark, go back to work. Come home, have many more bongs, play MUCH more Perfect Dark, go to bed. Repeat until the weekend, which would consist of bongs and Perfect Dark. That went on for over a year... non-stop. 

    If you've never played Perfect Dark, you're MISSING OUT! Seriously, it’s THE BEST first-person shooter ever made! If you can grab a copy, DO IT!

    If you don’t know the story, here’s the lowdown: You play as Joanna Dark, who’s a part of The Carrington Institute (good guys). Joanna is sent in to rescue Dr. Caroll (a gravity defying laptop... don’t ask) from within the massive dataDyne Corporation building. The plot then thickens as it becomes apparent that dataDyne is involved with the government in covering up alien activity (you are required to protect and escort one said alien later on in the game). It’s not the most imaginative plot, what with evil corporations, government cover-ups and a secret agent to save the day... but hey... it’s better than most FPS's!

    Obviously the graphics are a bit dated compared to what’s around today, but it was released in 2000, so that’s to be expected. For it’s time though, the graphics are astounding. It even came with a memory expansion pack for the N64 to beef up the quality, though you can't play the main single-player game without it. You can select what aspect ratio you want and whether you want normal quality or hi-res. There are some truly beautiful effects done with the lighting, as well as some astounding transparency. It ain’t Doom3, but damn, it’s pretty. 

    Rare used MPEG Layer-3 Compression for the huge amount of speech within the game (well, huge for a cartridge-based game) which is all high quality, considering they’d have used a low bit-rate. The music is the usual MIDI fare but DAMN is it good. Utterly atmospheric, very hummable, and it changes to suit the mood, something that can’t be done with a CD soundtrack, for example. 

    The main gameplay is where this title really shines. There’s just SO MUCH to do in here! There’s the main game, which you will not be able to stop playing... and I’m being serious. I completed the first mission, then went on to do the next five in the one sitting. It was only when I realized how hungry I was that I reluctantly had to stop. The storyline immediately sucks you in. Speaking of which, the storyline is immensely enhanced by the in-game cut scenes, which give it an almost movie-feel.

    The amount and variety of the main levels is astounding. It starts with you making your way out of the enormous dataDyne Corporation building, with an alien spacecraft, UFO crash sites, the bottom of the ocean, and a futuristic Chicago to name a few others.

    There’s also a few rooms in which you learn and hone the skills necessary to be the Perfect Agent. There’s a shooting range for you to get your weaponry skills up to speed, a combat simulator to teach you how to fight unarmed and also training on the numerous “gadgets” that you will come to use (including a remote spy camera called CamSpy.) 

    Then we come to the biggie, the make-or-break element of a FPS: Multiplayer.

    In its heyday, GoldenEye 007 could not be removed from the N64, as multiplayer would NOT STOP; it would carry on late into the night. Then, along came Perfect Dark. Each match could be customized whichever way you wanted. The range of weapons and levels were incredible. And the statistics that could be reviewed were amazing.

    Think you got a couple of head-shots during that last round? Have a look at the stats. Wonder who that bastard was that killed you nine times? Check the stats. Curious about exactly how far your character has traveled? The stats will tell you exactly how many kilometres/miles you’re player has run. It’s this sort of attention to detail that sets this game apart from the other FPS’s, even to this day.

    Haven’t got any other mates with an N64 controller? Haven’t got any other mates? Multiplayer is still going to rock your world. Rare included bots (up to 11 bots, making a max of 12 people running around for deathmatch), so don’t you worry. You can also customize the bots. Want one psychopathic bot and ten pacifists? It can be done. You can run around kicking the hell out of the pacifists, but as soon as you run into the psycho, forget it, unless you are THE master of this game, nine times out of ten, you’re toast. 

    Another thing that really kicks ass with this game is the Laptop Gun. With each weapon you have a primary function, and a secondary function (enabled by holding down the Z button). The Laptop Gun can be turned into a sentry gun as its secondary function. Think about it. You’ve got someone chasing after you, or you barricade yourself in a room. Why not throw the sentry gun on the wall so as soon as the poor bugger runs by? They get shot to pieces, without you having to risk your precious energy.

    Seriously, there is not one negative thing to say about this game, except maybe that my analog joystick was a bit knackered after so much use (and several bashings from multiplayer losses). Also, the fact that you require the expansion pack to play the single player mode might prove annoying for second-hand buyers, who might not know it’s a necessity. 

- Matt Wright

    I am not a big fan of survival horror games. I frighten easily, and hate the feeling when you know there’s a zombie just waiting somewhere down the hall, but you don’t know where and when it will strike. It almost killed me when those zombie dogs jumped through the window in Resident Evil. I also hate the fact that you can’t kill everything. I prefer cleaning out enemies in a room before moving on, but in many survival horror games, this is not smart, or even possible. With all that said, I guess it is fortunate that I gave Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem a shot, because it isn’t a normal survival horror game at all.

    Eternal Darkness is something of a hybrid between survival horror and adventure. It’s less about the jump-scares and more about a lingering sense of creepy psychological dread. And while there are guns and a somewhat limited supply of ammo that you can use to finish off zombies and horrors, there are also swords and magic spells to fall back on.

    Perhaps the strongest single aspect of Eternal Darkness is its plot and the way that the story is told. It begins when Alex Roivas learns that her grandfather has been killed in a rather… grisly manner. She travels to her family estate, determined to find some clue as to who or what killed her grandfather. Once there, she discovers the Tome of Darkness, and from that point, the real game begins. The player learns of an ancient evil that has been trying to take over the earth and enslave (or eat!) all of humanity since who knows when. Three Ancient Gods (Chattur’gha, representing power, Ulayoth, representing magic, and Xel’latoth, representing insanity) are all vying for control of our plane of existence, and your task in the game will be to prevent one of them (determined by the choice made early in the game) from dominating the earth and covering it in…dun dun dun…Eternal Darkness.

    If the premise sounds familiar, that’s because it is. In particular, Eternal Darkness bears a striking resemblance to the story “The Call of Cthulhu” by H. P. Lovecraft. The enemies you encounter in the game clearly draw from Lovecraft’s stories as well. On another note - if you are unfamiliar with Lovecraft’s stories, and like psychological horror, give his short stories a try. “The Call of Cthulhu” is great, but my personal favorite is “At the Mountains of Madness.” Anyway, even if the story has been done before, it’s still good, and the important thing is that Eternal Darkness does it very well indeed.

    The game spans centuries, and takes the form of different chapters of the Tome of Darkness. Each chapter features a different character, each with different strengths and weaknesses. For example, a firefighter might have a lot of health and be able to run long distances without tiring, whereas a fat man might have a much shorter health bar and find walking to be more comfortable. One of the neat things about the way the game plays out is that there are really only a handful of locations in which you play. As you play through the game with different characters, you will revisit the same place twice, but it is never the same. This adds continuity to what could have been a very disjointed game. It always comes back to Alex and her search for the truth.

    Gameplay is simple. The combat is nothing extraordinary, but it works well. Some of the enemies are no trouble. Others can be difficult to deal with. There’s one major boss that almost drove me mad the first time I played through. But as far as ordinary enemies go, you have your zombies, which are easy enough to deal with. Once you get far enough into the game, it gets much more difficult. One moment you’re chopping a zombie to death, when suddenly it steps back, writhes a little, and out jumps a bonethief, draining half your sanity. It gets even more fun when you’re out of ammo and there are about three of them out to make you their new host. Anyway, you see my point.

    The game presents three paths to you, depending on which artifact you choose early on in the game. Each one corresponds to a different Ancient, and as each Ancient is aligned with a different force (power, magic, or insanity) the enemies will be slightly different. Chattur’gha’s zombies are much stronger and can regenerate limbs. Ulayoth’s minions drain your magic as well as your sanity when they spot you. My personal favorite Ancient is Xel’latoth because although the zombies are weaker, they drain your sanity faster, making for some interesting situations with the sanity effects. Also, Xel’latoth is an awesome name. Xel’latoth. Just try saying it out loud to yourself. It just rolls off the tongue. Mmm.

    There’s a sort of rock-paper-scissors hierarchy among the Ancients, and once you start learning some magick, remembering this hierarchy will become important to your survival. You learn spells as you progress through the game by collecting runes and spell recipes. These spells can heal you, form a protective field around you, reveal hidden objects, harm enemies, and more. You can enchant your weapon to do more damage. This is a major help in combat later on, when you will be facing harder enemies and will need to use the dominant alignment to destroy them.

    One more unique aspect of this game is the sanity effects. Basically your character has a green bar denoting sanity as well as a red bar showing life and a blue one for magickal power. When an enemy spots you, it will drain your sanity. You can regain most if not all of the sanity by performing a finishing move on the enemy. As your sanity meter empties, various things start to happen. First, the camera will tilt. The more insane you are, the more tilted your viewpoint. Next there are a lot of things that could happen. You may start hearing voices, or pounding on the walls. Your character will most likely start talking to herself, often babbling incoherently. The walls will begin bleeding. I won’t ruin any of the really good effects, but suffice it to say many are unsettling or just plain weird.

    Onward to the sound and graphics. No real complaints here. The graphics are, for the most part, very nicely done. The character models are good and quite realistic. The lip syncing is a lot better than most. I have a few minor complaints. First, occasionally a slain creature will fall forward right through the character. It just looks silly. Second, some of the character models just look like they didn’t receive as much attention. The same is true of some parts of the environment in certain levels. The cutscenes interspersed throughout the game have a grainy quality to them that some people don’t like. Personally, it didn’t bother me, and in some ways it worked with the subject matter.

    Sound-wise, Eternal Darkness excels. The character voice acting is excellent. The sound effects are nicely done, especially the ones associated with insanity, such as the pounding on the walls or screams. Sometimes the sword-slashing noises were a little overdone for my taste, but that’s really my only complaint. The sound and music adds well to the moody, dark atmosphere.

    Eternal Darkness probably will take between 15 and 20 hours on the first play through. After that, you can opt to begin a new game on the same file with a different magickal alignment. If you play through all three alignments, you get a special ending. There are a few secrets to collect in the game, but nothing much. My one other complaint is that the final boss fight left something to be desired. It just wasn’t challenging enough.

    I’ve played through Eternal Darkness numerous times. It’s entertaining and engaging, and the plot sucks you in. There’s enough puzzle solving and combat to keep you busy. It’s always satisfying to slay zombies. It’s not exactly a survival horror game, but it’s also not an adventure title. People who enjoy either or both of those genres will most likely enjoy Eternal Darkness.