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Game Boy Review by: Alex Jedraszczak The atomic bomb had been dropped. The Axis of Evil had been defeated. The war-weary soldiers of the world were finally able to go home and have the rest they so rightly deserved. With the soldiers back at home having little to do, people had a lot of sex. And with a lot of sex comes a lot of children.
During the post-war era, America saw a vast expansion in its
roadways. Massive highways connected cities across the nation,
easing cross-country travel and making coast-to-coast trips a
possibility for the average man on the street.
That was when another atomic bomb was dropped. Not a real atomic
bomb; no, this was a metaphorical atomic bomb, dropped on the
children of the nation. The soldiers, apparently still bored after
having had enough sex to produce four or five offspring, decided to
collectively torture an entire generation.
Locked in a cramped cage, forced to listen to the hideous shrieks of
the others locked in with them, and hardly even allowed outside for
natural human functions. This was the road trip: the scourge of a
nation of youth, and an experience far more terrible than the war of
the generation before. Stuffed in a hot car with your despised
siblings listening to awful singing and bad music, all on the way to
someplace you didn’t even want to be. For years, children were
forced to endure this torture with no means of escape. That is,
until…
...the Game Boy.
The savior of children everywhere. From the doctor’s office to
the airport and even on the dreaded road trip, the Game Boy has
saved the sanity of millions of children all over the world. It was
a revolution against oppression, tyranny, and boredom. It became the
shining star of reclusive teenagers everywhere. Nothing has been the
same since.
In my personal story, there was one game that ruled my youth in the
early days of the Game Boy. That game was Metroid II: Return of
Samus. A somewhat forgotten sequel of the Metroid series, like many
games before the era of the Nintendo 64 and the PlayStation, it was
my game of choice for long trips.
The length of the game was perfect for me. I could play it through
once on long trips, or I could beat half on the way out and half on
the way back during shorter trips. I don’t know if I could handle
doing it anymore, but at the time, I didn’t mind playing it all the
way through twice within a few days on those longer trips. The only
problem I had in this respect was that, if I had to stop in the
middle of the game, I either had to hunt around for a save point or
just turn the game off.
The gameplay itself was built upon the original Metroid, which I had
always loved. I think that Metroid II was actually more refined and
easier to control than the original, which certainly made it easier
to play as a young gamer.
It was probably the more linear story that made it beatable, though.
While this made it a lot easier to get through, there was a certain
level of freedom and exploration that was missing from the original
Metroid. It’s hard to say whether this was a drawback or a bonus,
but considering that I was never able to beat the original as a
child, it at least allowed me to finish Metroid II.
Grading the graphics of a Game Boy game is always difficult. While
this game doesn't have the clarity and detail of
Final Fantasy
Legend, it's not quite as bad as oh, say, Fall of the Foot Clan. You
can tell what is going on most of the time, and I guess you can
never understand what half of the monsters are supposed to be in any
of the games, so I can’t fault it for that. It's about what you’d
expect to see on a green-and-black screen half the size of a
driver’s license.
The music is a similar story. With the limitations of the system, no
Game Boy game has a great music score. However, for the few songs
that exist in this game, the regular listening is pretty good, and
the rest contribute to the overall atmosphere. Because of this game,
I will forever connect random blips and “space noises” with the
Metroid series, even if they were never such a large portion of the
soundtracks before or since. I do have to mention, though, that the
ending song is one of my favorite videogame songs ever. Managing to
do that on a Game Boy game is quite a feat, so I have to give it
some credit.
Along with Final Fantasy II, Zelda II, and a myriad of other early
sequels to series that have become popular, Metroid II quite often
gets overlooked. Despite having been pretty good at the time, as a
short game made for a system that people now find difficult to
stomach, it is regularly overshadowed by later games, like Super
Metroid.
However, I think that Metroid II deserves some recognition! Metroid
wasn’t always an anything-goes cash farm, filling pools of money for
Shigeru Miyamoto that would make Scrooge McDuck jealous. Zelda and
Super Mario Bros., it’s all the same at Nintendo. Throw a popular
name on anything, and people will think it’s great. It’s like, if a
game they’re developing looks like it’s going to fail, they'll just
change the main character into Mario or Link or someone and sell it
anyway. If that doesn’t work, they’ll just copy and paste one of the
previous games and change a bit of dialogue and make back the money
from the other failure, or otherwise not bother even changing
anything and re-release a game or make a “Special Edition” out of
it. Meanwhile, old Miyamoto is swimming around in a giant safe full
of gold and laughing at everyone.
But, I think the point was that Metroid II is a game that shouldn’t
be so easily forgotten, even if it was very green and kind of short.
For now, though, I think I’ll go play some River City Ransom or
something. Now that was a game! Catch you later, nerds!
-- Alex Jedraszczak {04-2008} Rate this article — |
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Past Reviews by Alex Jedraszczak
Amagon (NES) |