If you’re booting up Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the first time, you’ll notice that you only have two playable characters: Fetus Link and Captain Lou Albano. So you have to do a bunch of stuff to unlock characters and maps. Some may say this is part of the challenge and fun, and to an extent, it is. But if the only way you can unlock something is by playing 5,000 versus matches, or by searching for an alternate solution online, then what’s the fun in that? I don’t care about all the other unlockable stuff like stickers and other “trophies,” but I do want to easily get all the characters I can play with. 

But Smash Bros. really isn’t that bad compared to other games. At least they let you play multiplayer mode right out of the box. Imagine if you had to play that “Subspace Emissary” mode before being able to play multiplayer. Well, be prepared when you buy WarioWare: Smooth Moves.

You have to play through a long and tiring single-player mode to even get to play multiplayer here. And even once you unlock multiplayer, you have to play each multiplayer game to unlock the next one in succession. Arrrgh! In Smooth Moves, you play a bunch of microgames that last at most five seconds, and you have to do goofy things with the controller. It’s fun, but only in a group. It doesn’t make sense that you can’t play multiplayer from the start, because the multiplayer modes are basically the same thing as single player anyway, just with more people. Beyond this, only the microgames you unlocked in single player are available in multiplayer, so you’ll still need to go back and “master” single player to get all 200+ microgames available. The same thing is true for Rayman Raving Rabbids; multiplayer is not available at first.

You know what’s under that newspaper?

Imagine buying a car, but the only way you’re allowed to have any passengers is if you first drive 10,000 miles by yourself. You bought the car; why can’t you do what you want with it? At least give me a damn code I can use to bypass. When you boot up Super Street Fighter II Turbo, M. Bison and the other boss characters are already unlocked. I don’t have to do a bunch of Zangief 360 piledrivers to unlock Vega, right?

None of this even makes sense financially. Some may argue that it increases replay value, but do game developers really want their games to have a high replay value? Unless they’re offering downloadable content, wouldn’t they want you to just be satisfied enough to purchase the next POS game when it comes out? Why has this changed so much? I can’t think of any NES or SNES games where you have to unlock things. Does the presence of battery backup yield the necessity of having to unlock 95% of the content? It used to be that “unlocking” just meant collecting all the E-tanks and missile canisters in a Metroid game. 

Oh, and don’t get me started on downloadable content. Some games offer stuff that should have been in the original game as DLC, aka “unlockables you have to pay for.” Most DLC isn’t above and beyond the original game, so why not just buy a new game, instead? Sometimes they get you with the Trophies/Achievements, too, like in Disgaea 3, where some of the Trophies are basically impossible to get unless you get certain DLC. 

And some DLC is just stupid. I have to pay for dumb costumes in LittleBigPlanet, or buy crappy anime themes for my PS3 menu? Where’s the justice here? Then there are the bigger things, like the Burnout ”Cops and Robbers” pack. You feel compelled to buy this unlockable, because if everyone else has it, you won’t be able to play with them. Well…screw you, buddy!

If we get our DLC purchases up to $88/hour, we’re going to see some serious shit!

So when you don’t have a choice, you strive to get that next unlockable character or map. But then it’s a huge let down. Why did Brawl get rid of Dr. Mario, but include Fox, Falco, and Wolf, who are all basically the same? What the crap is going on here?

Somewhere the developers have to draw the line. I think most of us are fine with unlocking minor things like costumes, a Sound Test mode, etc. But if things like core game modes and characters are going to be locked away by some tedious task or price tag, I’ll pass.

I played through the game seven times–once each on Easy, Normal, and Hard modes as Mega Man and Proto Man, plus a slow-motion run solely for the sake of getting screenshots. I’ve revisited every stage from the regular game at least once in Time Attack mode, paying no attention whatsoever to actually attacking the time, for I feel that Mega Man is best enjoyed when you’re not doing a speed run. Though any of the achievements I’ve earned have been incidental, I have made multiple attempts on every standalone challenge and, at the time of writing this, have completed 77% of the extraneous challenges.

In the past two months, I’ve spent more time playing this one Mega Man game than I’ve spent bathing. Which is impressive, considering how much time I’ve spent trying to wash away this disgusting feeling that I’ve been wasting my life.

With all this replay value already built into the game, it seems almost unnecessary for Mega Man 10 to have any downloadable content. However, with great disappointment comes great anticipation, so I found myself cautiously looking forward to MM10’s DLC, secretly and foolishly hoping that an additional playable character, three more stages, and an Endless Attack mode would boost my opinion of the game.

If you have mixed feelings about a casserole, and you have another helping of casserole to see if you like it any more or less, don’t be surprised if it tastes exactly the same. The only reason you’d like it any less is because you’re getting sick of eating it. If you start to like it more, that’s called Stockholm syndrome.

In other words, the downloadable content does absolutely nothing to alter my opinion of Mega Man 10. The DLC is fun enough, but as with the rest of the game, the successes don’t overcome the shortcomings by too big a margin. Factor in my waning interest in this game, and no amount of added replay value can hoist my rating for Mega Man 10 higher than a little above average.

Here’s my take on Mega Man 10’s downloadable content:

Bass Mode:

Joining the ranks of the disappointingly average Mega Man and the revoltingly unbalanced Proto Man is none other than Bass, who has been flip-flopping between rival and ally since his first appearance in Mega Man 7. The storyline as Bass is a travesty–with no explanation whatsoever, Bass is off to cure Roboenza; with no explanation whatsoever, his robotic animal companion possesses a single pill to cure Robenza; and with no explanation whatsoever, the ending cutscene that’s the same for every character seems to contradict what happens just moments before in the devoid-of-personality exchange between Bass and the main villian.

That’s not the only disappointing part about playing as Bass. Specifically, he’s got the dorkiest sprite in Mega Man history.

I understand that Bass has facepaint and a helmet with giant wings on it that are difficult to express in ample detail with such relatively simple graphics, but he looks like a lazy sprite hack of Mega Man, or like Mega Man dressed up as Bass for Halloween. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that it’s the graphics themselves and not the character designs that are so unappealing to me. Bass may be an aesthetic letdown, but he’s a gameplay triumph.

In contrast to the frustratingly unplayable Proto Man, the drawbacks that are intended to balance Bass’ fantastic abilities actually make sense. Bass can rapid-fire, but his shots do half the damage. He can shoot in almost any direction, but his shots can’t pass through walls, and he can’t run while firing. His Rush-ripoff animal pal, Treble, transforms into a flight suit that can hover and travel in any direction, but this consumes weapon energy at a substantial rate. Bass isn’t punished for being awesome; his drawbacks are directly related to his cool abilities. It is flat-out fun to play as Bass.

Bass Mode also gets bonus points for including Reggae, an obscure Mega Man character who nobody has ever heard of, as the shopkeeper for Bass. If there’s one thing Mega Man 10 does well, it’s referencing other Mega Man games. While we’re on that subject, let’s take a look at the…

Special Stages:

Mega Man 10 offers three special Time Attack stages that should look awfully familiar if you’ve played the Game Boy games; the three stages are faithfully recreated mashups of levels from Mega Man: Dr. Wily’s Revenge, Mega Man III, and Mega Man IV, respectively. At the end of each stage you’ll face off against the Mega Man Killer boss robot from the appropriate game, and upon defeating them, you will gain their special weapon, which you can use in any Time Attack or Challenge stage, as well as the main game. I initially complained about the big gaping space on the menu screen–well, these three new weapons fill those spots quite nicely.

Of course, it would have been nice to know about this before I played all the Time Attack stages, beat all the challenges, and completed the game with three different characters on three increasingly unpleasant difficulty modes.

While I’m ecstatic that the Game Boy Mega Man games finally got some recognition and that the portions of the levels that got used were replicated in such close detail, the particular levels that were chosen are some of my least favorites from the Game Boy series. There are sections here and there that I enjoy, but there are only so many “obnoxious enemy popping out of a hole” traps that a person can stand. It’s a challenge to get through each of the stages on just one life, but once you’ve done it, there’s not a whole lot of reason to replay the stages.

Two of the three weapons are fun, though. Enker’s barrier weapon deflects projectiles more reliably than Proto Man’s shield, and Punk’s throwing blades have a surprisingly useful attack trajectory. Ballade’s multidirectional bombs are powerful yet slow, and they feel a little redundant given that Mega Man already has access to Strike Man’s multidirectional bouncy ball, which I only mention because they could have traded Ballade for Quint from Mega Man II, who rains destruction on his enemies from atop a terrifying pogo stick.

Actually, now that I’ve had a chance to play a little more, Ballade’s weapon is powerful enough to be quite useful against several irritating enemies, so all three special weapons are fun. Hooray.

Endless Attack:

Mega Man 9’s downloadable content introduced Endless Attack mode, which did more for the game’s replay value than a difficult special stage, an additional and difficult-to-use playable character, and two more-difficult versions of the main game ever could. Ironically, I spent less time on Mega Man 10’s Endless Attack mode than on anything else.

As before, you play as Mega Man through a randomized series of short stages that are comprised of enemies and obstacles from all over the main game. The level designs are pretty clever, but the choice of enemies leaves something to be desired, as the designers went overboard with placing the most annoying enemies in the game in as many locations as possible, almost to the exclusion of literally half the enemies in the game.

I’m pleased to report that there are many screens and areas that were clearly intended to resemble parts of previous games–there’s references to Elec Man from MM1, Bubble Man from MM2, the first Dr. Cossack stage from MM4, the second Proto Man stage from MM5, Blizzard Man from MM6, Plug Man from MM9, and more. There’s also an absurdly complex disappearing brick challenge that makes me very, very masochistically happy.

I enjoyed Mega Man 9’s Endless Attack mode because it is very much a game of endurance and resourcefulness–special weapons are the key to success, and when you start running out of weapon energy you need to become especially skillful and clever to survive. Mega Man 10’s endless attack mode is more about avoiding bonehead mistakes; you’re unlikely to deplete your weapon energy enough for it to be a problem, so it’s a matter of not bravely leaping into a pit of spikes or getting hit too much by the same five enemies that populate almost every area.

Also, the Endless Attack music is a pale imitation of MM9’s technoriffic theme. Worse yet, it starts off with some high-pictched whistling that honest-to-goodness made me wish for the soundtrack from Mega Man II. The Game Boy one.

In other words, after just a handful of tries, I’ve played about all of MM10’s Endless Attack that I care to play for right now.

The downloadable content for Mega Man 10 doesn’t greatly enhance the replay value of a game that’s already got impressive replay value, but it’s worth it to check out at least one of the special stages and/or the Endless Attack mode, and I have a strong suspicion that I’ll be playing as Bass in most of my future playthroughs. The DLC is just as underwhelming as the main game, but, like the main game, it has its shining moments that make it worth playing.

[Reprinted from Exfanding Your Horizons.]

• Resident Evil 5 and Assassin’s Creed 2 both released downloadable content this week. We here are “Fabricated News” will continue to ridicule people who pay extra money for material that was supposed to be in the original product, but was purposely left out so you could get charged extra for it. It’s like going to see a movie, then having to pay an extra twenty bucks to see the ending.
• Triple Crown Snowboarding is yet another game based on this month’s theme: Let’s Capitalize on the Winter Olympics. Same with The Misadventures of PB Winterbottom.  Bah!
• Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All is the second Phoenix Wright game ported to the Wii. It is more than just a port, however; it comes with a brand new case to solve. Case #5, Turnabout Whipping, tells the story of Phoenix’s brief, torrid romance with Franziska von Karma during the course of a five-day investigation. It adds a great deal of drama to the plotline, as you can guess; however, I’m afraid I can’t approve of this case because the scenes of Phoenix and Franziska are truly horrifying. Truly horrifying.  It’s supposed to be romantic, but it ends up being terror-inducing, like all relationships.

• KORG DS-10 Plus is a game where a group of aliens named “The Korg” attempt to take over the planet Earth by brainwashing everyone who owns a Nintendo DS. They get dangerously close to succeeding, but their plans are foiled when Nintendo releases the eleventh version of the DS system (which is coming later this June).
• Ragnarok DS is a sequel to Fire Emblem Gaiden, which, as our readers might know, had a game-freezing glitch whenever Celica used the Ragnarok Spell. This game has the exact same glitch. I don’t see the point!
• Nancy Drew: The Model Mysteries is the latest DS Nancy Drew game, made by the company whose slogan is “People will mistakenly buy these games, because the PC series is good.”  In this game, Nancy becomes an assistant to male supermodel Michael Bridgeway, and she has to solve the mystery of why the models have been given a shipment of green shirts, instead of red ones.  *Yawn* This game features a major improvement over the last game in the series; it has two puzzles, not just one.

• Chicken Riot is a game that, if the title is to be believed, involves chickens and some sort of riot. Apparently, Chicken Little has managed to incite mass hysteria by convincing everyone that the sky is falling. Fortunately, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police have been called in to stop them by any means necessary.
• Finally, Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth has been released. While we enjoy this game, some people are rather upset with the ending. You see, in the last case of the game, Case #23.6, Edgeworth is asked to solve the mystery of why Capcom decided to make Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, because it’s pretty obvious that “let’s turn the super-popular star of the series into an unlikable, drunken hobo” is not exactly a good idea (Fun fact: This was the original script proposed for Indiana Jones IV). While solving this case, Edgeworth is hurled into a soap opera-esque storyline, in which Maya becomes pregnant with twins, and it is revealed that Pearl Fey is really the love child of Phoenix and Mia Fey. The game ends with Phoenix in a drunken rage, about to kill Maya with a knife. The screen then goes blank, except for the words To be continued in Apollo Justice 2: The Further Ruination of Phoenix Wright. The game fades to orange, while maniacal laughter bursts through the speakers.

So those are the games that came out this week, by jingo. Some good material, but some really bad material as well. I’m not sure how February plans to redeem itself. Unless we get something super-awesome, like Super Toad Bros. or BioShock 3, it’s looking like February of 2009 will be pretty forgettable.

This month, we direct our angry, shaking fists in the direction of Harmonix, and the Rock Band franchise. Now, I’m no newcomer to the series—hell, I own 325 of the songs available for the series. All you have to do is swipe someone’s credit card number, and bam. Free Microsoft Points for life. And by someone, I mean Zac Efron. It’s really easy to memorize, too. 1111-2222-3333-1332. There, now you can go on a shopping spree, too.

In March, we saw the release of one of the greatest albums of the 90s, Pearl Jam’s Ten, in all its glory, except that Harmonix made “Master/Slave” an instrumental track. All I want to do is talk about how Dirty Frank was a bad mother SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Then last month, we saw the release of an album I can safely say nobody really cared about: GnR’s Chinese Democracy. I don’t mind old Guns N’ Roses, but did Harmonix really have to go with the horrible sounds of their new album? I’m all for new sounds and all, but that’s only when what I’m listening to is actually music.

Anyway, I can’t help but notice that some of the absolute best rock albums are missing from this service. This, of course, will not do. Someone on the Harmonix staff needs to wake up, smell the daisies he just stamped all over with his muddy boots, and get busy, because there are:

Ten Albums I Demand to See in the Rock Band Series Before My Death in 2020

Here are the rules: The album must not already be confirmed for release on Rock Band (though, who’d really want Chinese Democracy, anyway?), there can be no songs from the album currently on Rock Band, and I can only choose one album per band.

Album: Ten Thousand Fists
Artist: Disturbed
Released: September 20, 2005
Label: Reprise
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “Ten Thousand Fists,” “Just Stop,” “I’m Alive,” “Sons of Plunder”
Number of Fists in the Air: > or = 10,000

Disturbed was the first metal band I lent my ear to, way back in the early 00s, as soon as I realized that there was more to music than Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC. While The Sickness had a few strong licks, and Believe was certainly a strong album, The Thousand Fists is one of the best metal albums released this decade, in my opinion. This is a strong album for all four instruments, especially vocals. Tracks like “Stricken,” “Sons of Plunder,” and “Guarded” throw fast and heavy guitar riffs at your nimble little fingers, while “Pain Redefined” and “Decadence” deliver the drummer a happy offering. “Overburdened” is a beautiful (if you can call Disturbed beautiful, ever) ballad about the lack of vacancy at the Hell Hotel, and there’s even something for Genesis fans: Disturbed’s cover of “Land of Confusion.”

Album: Blackbird
Artist: Alter Bridge
Released: October 9, 2007
Label: Universal Republic
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “Coming Home,” “Come to Life,” “One By One,” “White Knuckles”
Number of Times I’ve Had to Tell People That This is NOT Creed: 325

When the members of Creed were reforming with a new singer, Miles Kennedy, the obvious thought was “Oh, well. Creed’s not really gone, are they?” It’s safe to say that this band is, indeed, not Creed with a new singer, but an entirely different beast. Their first album, One Day Remains, was clear evidence of this, but Blackbird made it a scientific FACT. This album would be a huge challenge for vocalists, especially those who hate taking songs down an octave. Crazy guitar solos pop at you left and right, with the exception of the title track, as well as the final track, “Wayward One.” Meaningful lyrics and solid musicianship make this album a must-release on Rock Band.

Album: Sixteen Stone
Artist: Bush
Released: December 5, 1994
Label: Trauma/Interscope/Atlantic
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “Everything Zen,” “Machinehead,” “Little Things,” “Glyserine”
One Stone is Also: 14 Pounds. Those silly English.

This Bush album is criticized for sounding too similar to Soundguarden or Nirvana, but goddamn. If your best-selling album is the one that everyone says is bad, then you must be doing a good job as a musician. Bush’s original offering showcases everything that made the grunge movement great: grouchy vocals, catchy tunes, fun guitar solos, and weird songs that only last a minute that you’ll never understand, even after 15 years of listening to them. This is a fun album that could easily find a home on a player’s RB setlist.

Album: Yourself or Someone Like You
Artist: Matchbox Twenty
Released: October 1, 1996
Label: Atlantic
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “Real World,” “3 AM,” “Push”
I Told Michael Gray I Wanted to Push Him Around: And I did, and I did.

Who cares if the band name sounds like something a fourth grader came up with?! Yourself or Someone Like You is a classic album of the 90s, and I’ll be damned if I never get to see that album in RB before 2020. Another fun set on vocals, somber guitar patterns, and easy drumming are key on this album. If you’re calling me biased toward vocals, maybe you didn’t hear the part where I’m a MUSICAL THEATER MAJOR.

Plus, that guy on the album cover? Paul Franzen, circa 1995!

Album: In Absentia
Artist: Porcupine Tree
Released: September 24, 2002
Label: Lava
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “Blackest Eyes,” “Sound of Musik,” “The Creator Has a Mastertape”
Best Thing to Come Out of England: This Band. Fuck The Beatles.

A little European flair for the Rock Band store is never a bad thing, ever. And with a band like Porcupine Tree, it was truly hard to choose just one album to put on this list. This band is all over the place with its sound, and all of its styles can be summed up in one song, easily. “Blackest Eyes” is a piece of art, and it should be a mandatory download for everyone as soon as it comes out. It’s that song alone that made this album my pick on this list, though “Deadwing” was a close second. (“The Start of Something Beautiful” is on my RB3 wishlist, after all.)

Album: Californication
Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Released: June 8, 1999
Label: Warner Bros.
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “Around The World,” “Californication,” “Otherside”
Places to Live In California: People live in California?

Yeah, yeah. You say Rock Band already has a Chili Peppers album. But compare the sounds of this with Blood Sugar Sex Magic. Could you honestly say you’d know it’s by the same band if you didn’t know it already was? RHCP is one of those bands that have been able to redefine their sound every time they get a new album on the shelves, and Californication is the epitome of that trend. Crazy drums, sweet guitar, and the crooning of Anthony Kiedis would make this one a must-buy as soon as it’s released.

Album: Appeal to Reason
Artist: Rise Against
Released: October 4, 2008
Label: DGC, Interscope
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “The Strength to Go On,” “Kotov Syndrome,” “Hairline Fracture,” “Whereabouts Unknown”
Question: What the hell is Kotov Syndrome?

Damn you, Guitar Hero! How dare you snatch up downloadable Rise Against before Rock Band gets to it! Rise Against’s fifth album— remember, Siren Song of the Counter Culture was not their first album, just their first album to be released on a label that actually promoted them—was one of the best punk albums to come out last year. Its songs all feature a significant sound that would serve as a challenge on all fronts. Knowing Rise Against’s track record of getting their music into videogames (several appearances in the Burnout and Tony Hawk series, in addition to RB and GH), they’re just bound to get more songs into Rock Band soon.

Album: S&M
Artist: Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony
Released: November 23, 1999
Label: Elektra, Vertigo
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “Fuel,” “One,” “Battery,” “Enter Sandman”
Obviously Needs: A violin controller.

Oh, don’t sit there and tell me this wouldn’t be amazing. This modern mastery of metal and orchestral music would be a hot seller in Rock Band. Who wouldn’t want to pretend they’re rockstars, sharing a stage with one of the best orchestra groups in the country, churning out the best metal music from the past three decades with the sounds of beautiful, beautiful strings backing them up the whole way through? It’d be a must-buy for anyone with good taste in music, even if you aren’t much of a Metallica fan.

Album: The Lost Christmas Eve
Artist: The Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Released: October 12, 2004
Label: Lava
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “Wizards in Winter,” “Christmas Nights in Blue,” “What is Christmas?,” “What Child is This?”
What is Christmas?: It’s kind of a disease.

Playing off what I just said, orchestras are awesome. Orchestras that do Christmas music are awesome. Orchestras that do rock variations of Christmas music are obnoxiously-large-and-in-your-face font  AWESOME.

Such is the case of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, taking a joyful, wonderful trek through the beauty of the Christmas season, and putting a kickass guitar solo in the middle of it. Granted, this album would make for a few situations where certain instruments would have little-to-no playtime, and drumming wouldn’t be challenging at all, but it’s that wonderful Rule of Awesome that would make the TSO’s third Christmas album a solid addition to the RB library that should have been added last year. Damn Barenaked Ladies and their crappy Hanukkah song.

Oh, and TSO? Release Night Castle already!

Album: Running With Scissors
Artist: “Weird Al” Yankovic
Released: June 29, 1999
Label: Volcano
You Better at Least Get These Tracks: “The Saga Begins,” “Germs,” “Your Horoscope for Today,” “Albuquerque”
What do You Mean It’s Not a Rock Album?: There’s a song about the lead singer of Pearl Jam!

All right, work with me on this one. You want to torture the vocalist? Make him sing “Albuquerque.” Although this would be an amazing set for vocalists to plow through, the others would enjoy “Germs” (a style parody of Nine Inch Nails), “Your Horoscope for Today” (a parody of third-wave ska bands, like Mighty Mighty Bosstones and Reel Big Fish), and “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi” (a redo of a song already featured on the RB2 disc, The Offspring’s “Pretty Fly [For a White Guy]”). If you’re looking for an album that would distract your rock skills with laughter, then this would be the album for you.

Now, by this point, I’m sure you’re sitting around complaining “But Zaaaaaaach, all of these albums seem to favor vocalists!” or “Zaaaaaaaaach, the oldest album on here is from 1994, when music stopped being good!” or “Zaaaaaaaach, I can’t feel your mad smooth face through this computer monitor!” Please remember, this is not only my list of albums I will go gaga over once they’re released—they’re also albums that will come out by 2020. I’m going to die, after all; that means everyone has to respect me and my wishes to an irrational degree. Otherwise, I think the sky turns orange or something. Which I think means there’s a nuclear holocaust the very next day.

Do you want to cause a nuclear holocaust, Harmonix? No? Then make this happen before the MOOOOOOOOOOOON PEOPLE come to claim my life 11 years from now!

• Michael Gray’s rendition of “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” along with some delightful little commercials.
• GameCola’s own editor-in-chief Paul “Mr. Wiggles” Franzen as a commentator.
• Discussions on the downloadable content, the state of the gaming industry, and how the gaming industry is viewed by society.
• BONUS: A SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY MICHAEL GRAY’S MOM!

Enjoy!

(P.S. Sorry for the beeping sound that occurs during a couple minutes of the podcast; there was a car alarm going off in the background and not all of it could be edited out.)

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Welcome, one and all, BACK to Versus Mode—the column that calls upon GameCola writers as well as denizens of the videogame world at large to talk about what’s up in gaming.

This month in Versus Mode we’ve got:

John Swiderski vs. Brian Vanek!

John Swiderski is the President of Mean Hamster Software, a company that develops games for a variety of platforms, including the Pocket PC, Smart Phones, PDAs, Sony PSP, and Windows PC, as well as retro games for Amiga and Atari. Recent projects include developing Pocket PC versions of Myst and Riven and working with Fossil to write the Wrist PDA development paper. This is John’s first appearance in Versus Mode.

Brian Vanek is a former GameCola writer who was known for his reviews as well as for You Learn Something New Every Play, a monthly column about the things you can learn from playing videogames. This is Brian’s second appearance in Versus Mode, having written previously with Michael Gray.

1. Gamers would be better off if there was only one gaming platform.

John: Absolutely not. Having multiple platforms keeps companies privy to innovation and the differences between them. It might help developers, but it certainly wouldn’t help gamers. I enjoy the differences between the DS, PSP, cell phones, the Wii, Xbox 360 and PC gaming. Each platform has its advantages and disadvantages. I mean, while a gamer might want WoW on a cell phone, would it really work the same, or would it just be frustrating? Let’s not forget the days when the Atari 2600 ruled and nearly killed all competition. Games got stale and boring!

Brian: Probably not.  Fewer systems means less diversity.  I don’t really see how it would be possible, anyways.  Who would stand in the way of making more systems?  Would there be some kind of videogame governing force?

2. In-game ads hurt the gaming experience.

John: This is one I do agree with, but I don’t have an immediate solution for it. Having product placement in a game does provide a familiar world to gamers as long as it’s subtle. When an add is blatant, I would expect that from a free online game, not one I just shelled $60 out for!

Brian: TOTALLY!  I hate advertisements no matter where they are.  Games, billboards, television, volleyball players’ bodies—wherever.

3. Downloadable content is a huge rip-off.

John: Yes, additional downloadable content is a good thing to offer, but the core game should already be packed with enough goodies to make the game worth buying. Downloadable content in that regard would just be extra icing on the cake.

Brian: Downloadable content is not necessary in games.  That’s why there are sequels.  Haha.  But seriously, if the game is content-packed, I don’t see the need for extra, downloadable content.

4. Good writing can make a mediocre game worth playing.

John: Definitely. In this day and age, all too much care has been placed in graphics and soundtracks, visual effects and gimmicks. Good writing is just as important. Storylines are not as ignored as publishers might perceive. I personally don’t think that the adventure game genre is dead simply because publishers like to believe that the public is not smart enough to read into a good story. Take Harry Potter, for instance.

Brian: Good writing will only make the story element of a game better. If some other aspect is terrible, then the game is still mediocre.

5. More videogames should offer guitar support.

John: That’s a good one! Perhaps more guitar support isn’t the right question. But innovative new input devices, yes. Let’s see a real ocarina controller!

Brian: I kinda feel like a big plastic guitar is a waste for such few games to use it on.  Though, I don’t really see what else you could use it for, so I just think it is what it is.