This month, I’m discussing Sonic 3 & Knuckles. You know, when it comes to fans of the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, they usually pick either this or Sonic the Hedgehog 2 as their favorite. Does this game deserve that title? I’m not sure. It’s not flawless, but then again, not every game can be perfect like Shatterhand. So without further ado, here’s something I’ve always wanted to say… Onto the ten reasons!

Reasons Why I Like Sonic 3 & Knuckles

1. Knuckles

Unlike Sonic, he don’t chuckle; he’d rather flex his muscles.

Knuckles the Echidna is RED, which is one of my favorite colors. RED signifies danger! RED means destruction, domination, flame, desire, pain and trauma! Knuckles the Dominator.

He’s got two claws that will pummel you into next week. His physical strength is truly unmatched. What makes Knuckles so damn awesome is that he does what he thinks is right…even if it is all part of being fooled by an egg-shaped evil dictator.

Although he does some pretty nasty things to you, he turns to your side and shows his true colors by helping you defeat Dr. Eggman and put an end to all the tyranny. It’s a true friendship, and it almost brings (manly) tears to my eyes.

Also, he sports that cheeky, Muttley-esque grin. Sonic has attitude—Knuckles has charisma. 

2. Spinning Signpost

Watch out below—it’s a spinning bloody signpost. How cool is that?!

So you beat one of the awesome minibosses in Sonic 3 & Knuckles (more on those in a moment), and then all of a sudden—phwoosh! A signpost comes spinning down from the air, outta nowhere. It’s like Christmas, your birthday and Hanukkah all at once!

Although I’ve never given thought as to how or why, on some occasions, the signpost spawns monitors when it collides with the ground! It’s amazing. The most fun part is keeping the spinning signpost floating in the air for massive points (OK, that’s a lie; it’s pretty sad if you spend thirty minutes doing that.).

It’s like—”Well, we just made them fight a giant stone Golem outside a frickin’ pyramid, so let’s go one better and make the signpost bloomin’ drop outta thin air!” “Great idea, Sega Man #1.” “Thanks, Sega Man #2!” 

3. Minibosses

Sonic 1 and Sonic 2 had end-of-zone run-of-the-mill Eggman encounters. Dr. Eggman turns up with some wacky machine and attempts to clobber Sonic the Hedgehog & Co., forgetting that his new gimmick creates a brand-new weak spot and attack pattern. So, he tried something new:

While he obviously hasn’t learned his lesson (and battles are still as formulaic as ever), Dr. Eggman has now made each first Act host to one of his new non-piloted robot bosses, usually zone themed. They are awesome. …Wait, I’ve said “awesome” a lot in this article, haven’t I? I’ll think of a different word next time.

This may look like a staring match, but it isn’t. Knuckles totally wouldn’t lose a staring match either, because he’s so awesome…great (see Reason #1). This robot, shaped like an Egg Capsule (like the one at the end of a zone), grows arms and tries to hit you. Inflicting damage on this invincible behemoth is so cool; you have to get him to hit himself! That’ll serve him right. It is such an ingenious idea for a boss battle.

All the minibosses are inventive in their own way. Some are fairly easy, others are pretty frustrating, but they’re all very different from the Eggman bouts, and that’s why I love them so much. A little freshness that the prior games were missing, I think. 

4. Super Secret, Uh, Secrets

Where would a platformer be if it didn’t have cool super-hidden secrets? BORING PLATFORMER TOWN, that’s where. What about the crazy points bonus at the start of Mr Gimmick, or the hidden exit in the first level of James Pond II? Learn from the best when you’re making platformers; the secrets are half the fun of playing. Sonic 3 & Knuckles has a load of secrets stuffed inside (OK, very few really, but they’re really cool and well worth noting).

I mean, seriously, this is incredibly well hidden, right? What do you mean, “this one is obvious”? I didn’t know about this secret for over a decade. Does that make me dumb, or does it make you clever?

Little secrets are the reason I still play the oldies. Oh, and to help me vent after playing that total log of a game Sonic the Hedgehog 4.

5. The King of Pop/Soundtrack

Michael Jackson died a while ago now, and he was a good man. Jokes about his favorite after-dinner mints aside, he was the greatest musician to have ever lived, and I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that his music is the best to grace the ears of anyone, ever. Exaggeration (because we all know Chris Clouse is the best musician ever), but it helps move this point along.

It is rumored confirmed by Brad Buxer that Michael Jackson lent his musical genius to this game, under a few pseudonyms. Why pseudonyms? Well, because once allegations arose about Michael and small perky bottoms, Sega cut him from the production team.

So Michael Jackson was Cut From The Team after having composed several tracks for the game. So there is the reason why is Ice Cap’s music is so reminiscent of “Who Is It” and “Smooth Criminal.” The hard evidence is the Sonic 3 credits theme, which is identical to “Stranger In Moscow.”

We also can’t ignore Jun Senoue and Howard Drossin’s inputs for the soundtrack, which are totally bodacious.

6. Extreme Sports

Skateboarding, surfing and snowboarding are so brilliant! Sonic being the radical and, dare I say it, “awesome” hedgehog he is, he must obviously be a fan of extreme sports! And although his surfing intro was half-cut from Sonic 3 due to time constraints, he still manages a spot of EXTREME SNOWBOARDING ON AN ICE MOUNTAIN TO THE MUSIC OF MICHAEL JACKSON.

As this sequences requires the Genesis to totally outdo itself, it’s definitely the coolest thing to hit the whole system, and it’s super duper awesome.

In retrospect, if I had been developing this game, I’d have made this section longer, or added another one mid-way through Act 2.

If Sonic 3 & Knuckles were an action movie, this would be the bit that appears in all the trailers. No wonder Sega re-used it for Sonic Adventure! Oh yeah, they tend to recycle a lot, don’t they? *cough* Sonic 4 *cough*

Reasons Why I Dislike Sonic 3 & Knuckles

7. Character Imbalance

OK, Tails can fly. Pretty cool, huh? Not when that puts him at a total disadvantage. Cue slide:

This boss is a curse for Tails. When you’re Sonic, it’s as simple as jumping at Eggman—but for Tails, let’s just say you gotta hit him in the right place with your rotating tails. You gotta hit a small pin-point of an area whilst trying to move, but then you gotta drop straight away or you fly up into him and get hurt. There are many more other places where Tails is rubbish, too.

Seriously, who likes Tails? There’s two kinds of people in this world:

1. People who hate Tails
2. Liars

For a fox with two tails (therefore with an advantage over his ground-bound hedgehog friend), he can’t even attack the Marble Garden Zone boss. What is he, an alcoholic? Probably.

8. Recycling

Sega is very well known for recycling things these days. Just earlier I noted that Sonic Adventure recycled the Ice Cap snowboarding sequence (and indeed the zone itself)! Well, Sega was already at the recycling stage with Sonic & Knuckles, and this thoroughly upsets me.

It’s the Metal Sonic boss that is the prime offender in Sonic & Knuckles. I’m fine with the recycling of the Metal Sonic idea (from Sonic CD and “Silver Sonic” from Sonic 2), but I’m not happy with the blatant boss recycling.

Part 1 of the boss battle sees the original “Ball & Chain” boss bout from Sonic 1.

“So long as they don’t keep this up, it’ll be fine.”

Then Part 2 sees the boss from Metropolis Zone in Sonic 2, with the fake balloons.

“At least they can’t recycle a third boss battle, surely.”

Then Part 3 is the same move-set from the Silver Sonic battle in Sonic 2. So this boss is a complete recycle of earlier bosses. Glad we’ve got that covered now.

9. The Totally and Unnecessarily Haunted Pyramid

Why-why-why-why—what the hell are those!? Ghosts, presumably. Ghosts that are a right menace. It’s true that you can almost entirely avoid them getting to this state, but that isn’t an argument justifying their existence. They are the worst enemies in any videogame ever!

Worse than the Sun! Worse than King K.Rool! Worse than…the despicable CRYSTAL DANTE! At least those three can actually be killed.

What makes this level so frustrating is not just these ghosts, mind—the layout is horrible, the background art is boring and the scorpion badniks make the whole thing a chore. And then, the boss of the zone itself is just…weird.

It’s a really scary level. Even now I still get the chills. Suspense and fear are all very good, but this zone isn’t. The only zone in Sonic & Knuckles where a Time Out is actually feasible.

10. Lock-On “Technology”

I am so at the end of my tether when it comes to this. When I was younger, all I had was Sonic & Knuckles, which is only “half” of this game—to get the full game, you have to lock Sonic 3 onto Sonic & Knuckles.

Why did Sega do this? There are many theories:

• Maybe Sonic 3 wasn’t going to be finished in time, so they halved the project.
• Perhaps the Michael Jackson issues may have caused the game development to get slowed down.
• Games are stupidly expensive, so it doesn’t take much to assume that Sega just wanted double profits.

I look at the Lock-On technology and I can imagine the good ideas they could have employed with it, but it also just reeks of money making. True there’s a neat engine in Sonic & Knuckles just waiting to have another expansion pack, but Sega never got that idea. Would have been great to have a further Sonic the Hedgehog game using this engine, other than Sonic Jam.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 would have been a much better game if it had used the Sonic & Knuckles engine. Also, who likes crappy 3D graphics, anyway? Back in my day, if we had 16-bits, we were ecstatic! You had to be rich to afford that. 

So that’s my ten reasons why Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles is a videogame.

Wait, what!?

Well done, Gameware Development. No, I mean it. Congratulations on developing an awful re-make of one of my favourite games originating from my home country. Congratulations on changing every level, and making them all totally non-fun. Congratulations on not simply porting the game, but instead leaving your mark (and dare I say “skid mark”) on this game.

This re-make (although I prefer the term “de-make”) annoys me because it gets “just enough” stuff wrong to make a game I’ve fallen in love with multiple times feel like a complete stranger. It was published under the Play It label (which isn’t exactly known for its quality titles), on the PlayStation AND PlayStation 2, as well as the DS and Game Boy Advance.

Four releases of what is effectively shovelware obviously wasn’t enough, as James Pond 2: Codename RoboCod was added to the PlayStation Network as a downloadable title in 2008.

It takes a long time to get over it, but there’s one big flaw with this version, and I already mentioned it: all the levels are different from the original. Not a single one is kept intact, even the hub-level got a makeover (or rather a “take-off” now that the hidden bonus levels are gone).

While I may agree with you that no auto-scrolling levels (such as the train levels) is a plus, the whole game remains tainted; the levels are too uniform.

The feeling you get while playing the game has also been altered. It doesn’t feel as charming as the Genesis version still does. I still play the Genesis version occasionally, mainly to see how far I can get without dying (I did manage up to Boss #3 once).

The progression has changed, as has the way the game is played, with levels no longer containing any originality. Almost every charming feature has been stripped, and the extra changes (some of which may not annoy you, but vastly irritate me) render this game upsettingly bad.

The proof is in the pudding; don’t touch that dial.

The toys at Santa’s Toy Factory are crying out for help. Who will save them? James Pond will, of course!

The goal in James Pond II: Codename RoboCod is to save the elves and the toys at Santa’s Toy Factory from the evil Doctor Maybe.

Why “Doctor Maybe”? C’mon, it’s a pun on “Doctor No” from the James Bond films! James Bond—James Pond. Bingo, you’re learning.

After Doctor Maybe’s plans were foiled in the original James Pond (something to do with polluting the Earth’s oceans and generally being fiendishly wicked), he hatched his next evil plan: to reprogram Santa’s toys to be evil and get him to deliver them to kids all over the world, spreading Dr. Maybe’s evil empire.

Naturally, the eponymous hero is sent to save the day. In order to survive the chilly cold of the South Pole, and to reach new places, James Pond’s equipment has been upgraded. He drops the tuxedo from the first game and swaps it for a high-tech robotic suit that allows him stretch his body indefinitely.

James has been given the codename “RoboCod” because of his new armory, which is (obviously) a pun on RoboCop. Nice to see there are people in the games industry who make worse puns than I do.

To save Santa’s helpers, you have to disarm the bombs that have been tied to them, and cannot advance to the next level until you do so. Saving them all, destroying Doctor Maybe’s minions, and defeating Maybe himself indeed results in the end of the game.

Doctor Maybe escapes, leading the game towards an inevitable sequel (which turned out to be the best platformer on the Genesis, ever).

Sadly, Gameware Development must have not played the original RoboCod. Well, either that or they deliberately set out to make the worst remake ever.

Not taking into account the hideous FMV opening that looks like it was animated using Google SketchUp, Gameware added many unnecessary things and took away what worked, leaving it riddled with holes, moth-eaten, and torn.

I love how the boss battles are a “little” difficult in the original RoboCod. Thanks to the code being entirely re-written, if you die during a boss battle in this remake, your progress towards killing them carries over onto your next life. That makes things all too easy now.

The boss arenas are less complicated, and the bosses easier. The health bar for bosses also evens out the difficulty, unlike the original game, where you are unaware how much health they actually have.

So far, not so bad, just easened up. The easiness doesn’t last, as there is a massive difficulty spike after the second boss.

The game itself is buggier than the Genesis version (granted that the version I constantly praise does have a few bugs). It’s clear from the get-go that this is a remake, not a port, because the general control feels wrong, and the way James seems to “snap to” the exit beacon is strange behavior compared the original.

Of course, a remake for the PlayStation meant that Gameware Development felt it was their duty to update the game’s visuals. Whereas the new sprite-work here and there is brilliant, the ugly visual additions,  such as beacon lighting and darkness, do not add anything to the game.

The soundtrack has been changed, too. True, it was not entirely changed, but if you compare the soundtracks from each game to one another, you’ll note a shocking lack of quality in the remake.

Most of the original tunes are still here and as bouncy as ever—plus some new ones I don’t particularly go for. There is also a track from James Pond 3 included in the game, which is completely out of place. It’s not bad music, but it doesn’t belong!

If the terrible instrumentation for the tracks that originate from Robocod were not enough to upset me, the fact that the music doesn’t loop, but just fades out, does.

The Christmas-themed music track (which I already hate because they use it for non-Christmas-y levels) causes the screen to flicker blue when it starts over. That’s a sign of amateur work.

The music resets between levels, even if the level uses the same audio track as the last; whereas in the original, it continues playing without interruption.

To me, the most offending of all the changes is that every single level requires saving elves before you can go to the next beacon. This heavily damages the progression speed of the game.

In the original version, you only have to do this for a few levels, not every single one.

That said, over 30 levels, I came across one where I didn’t have to save any elves. However, in the previous level, I had to save 14 of them, so yeah, too much of it.

Also, the McVities Penguin license is one of my favourite features of the original game, because penguins are awesome! The penguins you save are missing in this version; as a result, you’re saving elves, not penguins.

That’s probably a licensing issue—but I’d have thought James could maybe, y’know, still save penguins? I don’t really care much for elves. Personally, I just want to leave them there to die.

For a remake, this does nothing but damage the original. I know I keep saying this as if James Pond 2 on the Genesis is some kind of miracle-game, but trust me, this remake does an Ed Gein with the original, cutting out the best parts (I think that was a nice analogy, even if a tad misogynistic).

Let’s not get too head-up-arse here, though; it’s a good re-make, but it’s missing a lot of the zing and zazz. I’m sure this remake would just about manage to stand on its own. It does add a saving feature between themes, which is a nice touch, as the original game does not have save slots or passwords.

But also, from the viewpoint of being able to download this quickly and painlessly from the PlayStation Network (if you’re a PS3 owner), it’s good. I can’t get enough of how easy it is to download a game and play it on both the PS3 and PSP.

If RoboCod had remained at its special offer price (dropping to £1.59) rather than climbing back up to £3.99, then I’d say “give it a shot; it isn’t too bad.” But RoboCod was only on sale for a short time, and I would never recommend the game to you at its full price, ever. James Pond 2 for PlayStation 3 is currently only available in Europe, and with a bit of luck, it will stay that way. This PlayStation version remains a rarity, as the limited number of copies show, and it was never released outside of Europe.

If you’ve played the Genesis, Master System, or Super Nintendo version you’ll know—the second you lay your finger on this—that it’s quite a ways out from feeling the same. I know it’s wrong to compare them like this, but if you can’t review a remake by comparing it to the original, then how should it be done?

That was a rhetorical question.

Linear levels and removal of the secret bonus levels results in far less exploration than there was before. The silly things, such as the upside-down levels, underwater sections, hidden beacons, and auto-scrolling levels, are completely missing. Like Green Day sang, “it all keeps adding up.”

Procure the Genesis cartridge instead. Oodles and oodles more fun, and you can also P…P…Pick Up A Penguin for me while you’re out and about.

“The Unlucky Podcast,” as we call it, stars GameCola staff writers Michael Gray, Michael Ridgaway, Zach Rich, and Nathaniel Hoover. Discussions cover all sorts of random topics, including save points, how companies can get away with releasing a string of lousy games just because of the name attached to them, live multiplayer vs. online multiplayer, and voice acting in the Mario games, to name a few. In case the discussions aren’t scintillating enough, there’s a silent playthrough of the Sega Genesis game James Pond II: Codename RoboCod running in the background. Really, there’s no hidden metaphor or deep significance to the choice of game; it’s there so you’ve got something to look at.

Now, go look at it already! The first two videos of the podcast are embedded here; click this happy little linky to watch the full podcast.

Hogs of War is one of those games that if you first play it well after its release date, you are probably never going to fully enjoy it. That’s the way it felt to me. The graphics are PlayStation at its worst: bulky and awkward. Along with this are robotic-like character movements coupled with an atrocious control system—you are in constant battle against this game from the start. 

The game itself seems pretty fun for the most part, and it has some fun weapons and tactics involved in it. I never got a chance to partake in its multiplayer offerings. It seems like one of those games that is insanely more fun when playing against others rather than just going through the normal missions. However, as much potential as it may have, its graphics and controls are far too big of a drawback for you to get interested in it enough to take it any further.

Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs Say… Thumbs Down.

Hey! LOOK! It’s Mega Man!

Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs Say.. Thumbs UP

HAHA! Gotcha! There is plenty more to be said about this classic installment of a classic series! It, like Dragon Warrior, was one of the first games I ever owned. It is also one of the few games that I have played through more than once, because, well, nothing is more fun than pumping evil robots full of pellets. The gameplay, graphics, sound and pretty much everything is that like all other Mega Man games, so you know what you’re getting there. You run around, you clobber robots of various shape and sizes, you save the world. Pretty standard videogame stuff, but it just never gets old! 

Okay yeah, in hindsight I really didn’t have all that much to say about the game, but it’s great, so deal with it!

Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs Say… Thumbs UP!

So yeah, I love Mega Man, and this game resembles Mega Man. It also resembles countless Mario games, Sonic games, and even Kirby games. But, do you ever think about why EA concentrates so much on sports games now? Well, I have one answer: “gems” such as James Pond. While this game resembles all of the games I mentioned above, it manages to suck out everything that’s entertaining. 

However! We do get something in the place of of anything FUN or ENTERTAINING: the same damned music on 90% of the stages. YAY! You too can drive yourself mad and thrust your own thumbs through your temples in a unsuccessful attempt to stop the pain that you will be suffering from the endless succession of six notes the makers of this game decided to bestow upon us! Yes, it really is this bad, and makes playing this game for any long period of time a real chore. 

That probably should have been a sign to turn the game off right there, but I continued. It’s a run-of-the-mill platforming game, but it’s just so bland, with hardly any sort of customations or any alternatives to just running around and jumping. There are a lot of different items to collect throughtout your journey; however, they don’t do much besides giving you more points, health or lives. There are a few other fun objects, but basically that’s all you do. Two buttons ( forward and jump), and you’re set. SET ON YOUR PATH TO INSANITY!!! Bwahahaha. Okay, it MIGHT not be that bad… but it is.

Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs Say… Thumbs Down.

SPOT! He’s back in his second videogame, and yes even HE is asking why. When you first turn on the game it does a very good job of fooling you, because the game doesn’t look all that bad. It definitely looks better than you would expect from a Spot game. It is easy enough to move Spot around and jump around the various stages. Although if you had any ideas about shooting your… uh… whatever Spot appears to be shooting with any kind of accuracy well, GOOD LUCK! I had a very hard to figuring out how to make the shots go where I wanted them to. However, that wasn’t really a problem, as I found taking out enemies isn’t all that important. 

The object of the game is to collect red spot tokens throughout the levels; you need a certain amount to get to the next stage, and even more to get a perfect score. However, most of them are laying about, especially in the early stages, and only a few certain baddies even yield these elusive tokens. Besides the various items and tokens, the levels are very barren. Now this is good if you just want to run around the digitalized world and jump around to your little heart’s content. But if you had any ideas about keeping yourself entertained throughtout your adventure, well, you just are not in luck! 

All in all, no, this game is not good, but then again what would you expect from a game made a about a soft drink mascot? I’m sure its better than anything Chester Cheeto can come up with.

Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs Say… Thumbs Down.

Now this is a highly entertaining RPG, featuring one of the spiffiest characters you will ever meet: Jack Russell! He is quite a mix of annoyance and arrogance, and it’s fun to make him make friends with all those he comes in contact with. Well except the assholes, but no one likes assholes anyways. The story is fun and interesting, and it even offers you two different paths to take, increasing its replayabilty right there. There is also a massive amount of characters you can have join you and be in your party as well. Some of these are restricted by which path you choose, but still. There are 177 in all, and I dont care what game you are talking about; that is a lot of characters! 

Other than the sheer amount of characters, the game has its own tweaks and adjustments to your standard RPG engine. You only keep track of the main character’s armor, you select your own attacks and combos from a list depending on what weapon you’re using at the time, and it is very easy to switch weapons. Also the encounters aren’t so random, as you can see the particular monsters and other things that you can attack or can attack you on your map before the battle sequence is engaged. You may also pick fights with almost every other character in the game at any time you want, so that’s always fun as well. Other than the main story, getting all of the characters to join you is an adventure in itself! While it is quite hard and nearly impossible to get all the characters possible for your path, that won’t stop you from wanting to try.

Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs Say… Thumbs Up!

Well folks, that’s about all I have to say for this issue. Of course, you know by now that it WAS the masterpiece that I told you it would be! Perhaps one day I will find a truly enthralling and entertaining Genesis game. But for now, it will remain as the system that I never really cared that I missed out on. Sadly enough. 

Be sure to return to this happening spot next month for what WILL be the most exciting collection of words that you will ever lay your eyes upon! Big talk, but only because SUPER THUMBS truly is the best! Until next month, ciao.

It’s extremely hard for me to accept that EA created this game — it is full of the charm their games are so sorely lacking these days. Robocod is the sequel to James Pond, which was the first game to be developed in the UK for the Sega Megadrive/Genesis. Rule Britannia and all that. Unfortunately, it was crap. Robocod completely re-imagines the series to produce a far more satisfying result.  

This is a platform game with fairly basic action, save for one interesting gimmick — Robocod can streeeeetch. Literally. He grows upwards, little fins outstretched, then grabs the ceiling and shimmies along. This gimmick isn’t actually used that much beyond the first few worlds, but it’s nice that it exists. The controls are simple. A and C to stretch, B to jump. The physics are a little floaty, which means that you tend to spend more time in the air than is natural. The various vehicles also feel a little weird at first — the car should surely be a bit heavier — but the game is tailored to work with its unusual mechanics surprisingly well. 

The levels are enjoyable, with enough variation to keep you playing. All of them are sadly the same objective wise: find all the penguin bombs, and then reach the exit. The design is good, though. There are usually a couple of routes through each level, and an odd assortment of objects to collect ranging from oil cans to a pair of pouting lips.  

Pond’s adventures are rather, well, freaky; you fly around in a bathtub, for crying out loud. The bosses seem rather odd, too. A giant teddy tries to crush you with its arse. A giant car spits smaller cars at you. And they get weirder. The apex of sheer oddness comes in the mirror dancers. You’ll know when you get there. 

Robocod is sufficiently tricky. The bosses are no trouble at all most of the time, but some of the levels can be fiendish, often to the point of frustration. Some of the enemies take a good beating to go down, and a few cheap shots can leave you seething. There is, however, very little danger of seeing a Game Over screen — there is a ridiculous abundance of extra lives in places.  

The game sounds, well, Christmassy. Which is topical, I suppose. The sound effects are rather repetitive as are the songs. There are only about 4 tracks and they are looped endlessly. Insanity will claim you. IT WILL. Thankfully the graphics will not bore you. The sprites are chunky and well-defined, and the landscapes colourful. A few levels are a little bland, but they don’t really last all that long. 

Robocod is absolutely loaded with secret areas, some of which are hidden in ridiculously convoluted locations. There are many hidden levels, all packed with random bonuses. These will keep you coming back, as well as the two secret levels — one of which is the best in the game!  

I like this game. It isn’t a particularly brilliant cart, but for the price it usually commands it is well worth a spin. It doesn’t have anything like the depth of its fantastic sequel, Operation Starfish, but it is still a worthwhile play. 

Todd Bigelow’s Top 10 Favorite Videogames

10. Halo (MXB): Yeah I know, shut up already!  I don’t care if it is on the evil Microsoft big black box, I still love my Halo!  We have tournaments for it all the time here and I always come out on top, even when it’s several people against ME!!  I just love shooting and maiming stuff, and since Xbox has such great graphics, it’s sooooo much more fun here than it ever was in Wolfenstein.

9. Red Dead Revolver (PS2): Of course I would not be much of a first-person shooter fan if I didn’t have this one on my list.  What’s more fun than shooting space-men?  I’LL TELL YOU!  SHOOTING COWBOYS!! AND ZOMBIES!! AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS I GOT TO SHOOT HERE, WOOOOOO!!!!!

8. Dark Cloud 2 (PS2): It has always bothered me that people talk about Beyond Good and Evil as being the first game to integrate gaming and photography.  Come ON MAN, this game did it first and did it better!!!  Dark Cloud 2 had you wandering around caves taking pictures of times so you could use them!  Or at least I think; the story was a bit too confusing for me.

7. Ape Escape (PSX): After a long day of shooting space-men in Halo I like to kick back with catching some monkeys.  No not that kind you SICK FREAK, I mean actual monkeys, the ones you find in the zoo!  Or in this case, the kinds you find running around levels pulling all kinds of shenanigans while you chase them with a net.

6. Harvest Moon (SNES): This game is actually kind of boring but I included it on my list because I was able to marry this hot girl in it.  My friend and I actually had an argument over this!  He wanted to marry MY woman, can you believe it??  SHE WAS MINE FIRST, STEVE!!! HANDS OFF MY WOMAN!!!! (LOL I hope he reads this!!)

5. Ghosts ‘n Goblins (NES): Hm, shouldn’t there be a second apostrophe after that n?  Because I do not think the game is meant to be “Ghosts an Goblins”, but I do not know!  I can forgive errors in grammar in this game though because it has an awesome soundtrack!!  And OMG, have you ever heard the Minibosses cover it??? SO AMAZING!!!!

4. James Pond 2: Codename Robocod (SG): Lol, RoboCOD!!  That’s just TOOOO funny!!  This game is insane though, there’s all kinds of crazy enemies and levels and things that freak me out TO THIS DAY!!  Also TO THIS DAY, I can’t beat the third or so level, but it is okay because the game has RoboCOD in the title!!!

3. Diddy Kong Racing (N64): I had given up cart-racers forever after playing Mario Kart but then my friend Steve (LOL Steve are you reading??) tied me down to a chair and refused to let me go and took my pants off until I agreed to play this game.  So I did and OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!  It is SOO MUCH better than Mario Kart.. and it even has Conker BEFORE he was a drunk squirrel!  LOL!

2. California Games (NES): This game is like BMX XXX but without the toplessness!  And without the HORRIBLE gameplay LOL!! AND LOL WITH LOTS OF OTHER EVENTS THAT AREN’T BMX!!!

1. Super Mario Bros. (NES): What a classic!  I never understand when people don’t have this on their Top 10 lists here in GameCola, any TRUE gamer would have it as number one!  This game INVENTED the genre of side-scroller and introduced Super Mario do the gaming world, what is there not to love??!