Archive for Tag: Matt Gardner

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 40 – Toot Toot!

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Barin: Wait a second, Streebless; what was that I saw you waving around in the bar?

  • … of the Month: Games of the Year Nominations

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    OK, I’ve been given some kind of task by Paul. I forget exactly what it was, since I was trying to pleasure myself to some kind of fetish porn or Care Bears or something whilst he was Instant Messaging me about it, but it has something to do with games that should be nominated (put on the ballot) for the yearly GameCola awards.

  • .hack//G.U. Vol. 1: Rebirth (PS2)

    Reviews Reviews by Matt Gardner on

    I've wanted to say this for a while now:  You do not need to have played the original four .hack games to understand this.  You do not need to have seen any of the .hack anime to understand this. 

  • … of the Month: Mysterious Top 10 List

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    10. The number 40: This is the number of things I bring around with me, so I don’t end up having to keep throwing stuff out when I get overburdened.

  • … of the Month: What’s up with all the 10s?

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    I’ve been wondering about this for awhile, particularly back when the late, great Stu “Fancy 10s Mickey Mouse Boy” Gipp was still with us. Why are there so many 10s given out in reviews? Correct me if I’m wrong (which I’m not, so don’t bother correcting me), but I thought that, under the clearly defined ratings system of GameCola (carefully set out by the Edicheif himself), a 10 indicates that a game isabsolutely perfect in that category. If that’s true (which it is), then why are 10s more prevalent than bad jokes on Mad TV? To quote the late, great naked Abe Lincoln, “What the crap?”

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 38: Children of the c0rn

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Evil Children: LOL WE JUST PWNED UR ASS.

  • … of the Month: Video Game Sequel Theory, Phase 2

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    ToeJam and Earl have always been thugs. They will always remain thugs. They are the epitome of living the thug lyfe. With that said, this update on VGiST comes, yet again, with more questions than answers. Once again, I suggest people make use of the comments section if they have anything that could be added to this theory.

  • D1 Grand Prix (PS2)

    Reviews Reviews by Matt Gardner on

    I should probably make it clear right away that I am not a fan of drifting.  It seems to me that if there is any fun to be gotten out of this game, it is only going to be found by "hardcore" drift ra

  • … of the Month: Video Game Sequel Theory, Phase 1

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    I’m sure this isn’t the first time I am mentioning this, but it has again been brought to my attention while playing a certain game (Xenosaga Episode II), and I figured I would try and solidify my thoughts into a solid theory.

  • The Gates of Life: Chapter 36 – The Gates of Vine

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Forklass: Hey, let’s climb that vine! It goes up really high! It’s GOTTA go somewhere cool.