Dear Readers: Latisha? Why?

Try as I have been for the past month to understand, Latisha's existence in ToeJam & Earl III: Mission to Earth simply does not make any goddamn sense. From a gameplay standpoint, she serves as the middle ground between the speedy DJ TJ and the loafy Big Earl; from a storyline, she's the middle ground between the arrogant DJ TJ and the kindly Big Earl. She's the average, well-rounded character that's been ignored in video games for generations, akin to Sion Barzahd in The Bouncer or Mario in Super Mario Bros. 2. Except that in these two cases, the average character as least has the advantage of being the main focal point for the game's storyline; Latisha has no such advantage.

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Dear Readers,

Try as I have been for the past month to understand, Latisha’s existence in ToeJam & Earl III: Mission to Earth simply does not make any goddamn sense.  From a gameplay standpoint, she serves as the middle ground between the speedy DJ TJ and the loafy Big Earl; from a storyline, she’s the middle ground between the arrogant DJ TJ and the kindly Big Earl.  She’s the average, well-rounded character that’s been ignored in video games for generations, akin to Sion Barzahd in The Bouncer or Mario in Super Mario Bros. 2.  Except that in these two cases, the average character as least has the advantage of being the main focal point for the game’s storyline; Latisha has no such advantage.  

The original ToeJam & Earl rocked without this ho-bag female, and the second… well, the first was totally sweet.  This installment could have easily been just as sweet without Latisha, if not more so.  Perhaps if the game supported three players at a time, then there would be a need for a third character; but it doesn’t.  Latisha isn’t going to convince any girls to pick this game up — girls don’t play video games.  And besides, she’s not prominent enough for them to even know of her.  Latisha’s only feasible use could be to help friends fighting over who gets stuck as Earl, being a substitute to the painfully sluggish Funkatronian.  

But what’s the point?  The designers might as well just let there be two ToeJams at a time instead of providing his dulled down clone.  There’s a reason this game is called ToeJam & Earl III, not ToeJam, Earl, and Latisha — she’s not at all important, interesting, or useful.

Oh, and who else was pissed of by the game’s horrendous ending?

Love,
Paul Franzen
Editor-in-Chief
e-mail: pfranzen@gamecola.net

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From 2002 to 2013

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