Okay, it’s been just about a month now, but I’ll have no trouble recanting this tale of awesomeness, as it is quite ingrained into my memory. April 3rd, 2004. Minibosses in New York City. Who could forget such a glorious site? Surely not I. As soon as I heard the news I called all my first rate chums to attend, and by that Saturday, we were all in my tiny room, awaiting the kickassedness that was sure to follow. After a minor subway uptown/downtown delay, we were well in the depths of Brooklyn, and before we knew it we were knee-deep in proverbial rock. I tell you, the only other time I rocked out that hard to a live performance was when I saw the Minibosses at MAGfest 2.0 in November. Long story short, they hit all the right notes, and I commended them with a raised lighter during Mega Man 2 and a hearty handshake upon exiting the venue. We then retired back to my room where we celebrated a rock well done, but I won’t get into that at this juncture.
Fast-forward two days later to Monday, April 5th. I had no trouble getting into the Saturday show, and since I was a mere walk away, it would have been downright foolish to pass up the very good chance of seeing the Minibosses again. This time accompanied with only one Mr. James Bochanski, we ventured off on that cold April evening sans jackets, as they would be quite troublesome during the rocking out that was sure to follow. Well, maybe not as sure as I first thought…
As we rolled up onto the scene, we were greeted with a figure that can only be described as Lucifer himself. I mean, he had the pointy beard and everything. I’m sorry I don’t have a picture of that ponce, but I’m sure you would agree with me if you saw it, so just trust me on this. Oh, and by the way, as if you couldn’t figure this out yourself, Lucifer is probably the last person you’d want working the door and deciding who gets in to see the show. Anyway, as you may have guessed, he said we couldn’t get in, but I didn’t fret. I knew that once the Minibosses learned of my predicament, they would do their best to get me inside. Sure enough, Aaron works his magic and we were on our way in! Well, not just then. For you see, I, unfortunately, have not been alive for 21 years. I had only been alive for 19 years and eight months by that point, and apparently that’s far too young to be around bottles of alcohol. Even after suggesting they put a big sign across my forehead that says “DON’T SERVE THIS BOY ALCOHOL”, Lucifer sill wouldn’t budge.
Fast-forward a few more hours, and keep in mind that it is getting colder now that the sun is down and Jim and I are no longer in motion, and you’ll get an accurate mental picture of our shivering state as we waited outside to play the pity game with Satan. Little did we realize that we were ultimately wasting our time, even though while out there we received some very helpful pneumonia advice from a passerby. Some people even tried to console us in our pre-death state, and even though it was much appreciated, it still wouldn’t cut it. The only thing that kept me going was the possibility of getting into that show. It was about the time they were to go on, and I decided I had nothing to lose, so I decided to plead with Satan. It didn’t work. It’s Satan, come on.
Just about then Ben came out and tried to help me get in, but to no avail. Our last hope was a good one, as he entered to plead with the management, and in doing so he lent me his hoodie as I waited outside, which was well appreciated. But it didn’t last long, as he was out within seconds telling me she wouldn’t budge and that there was no chance I could get in. I was very disappointed, but that mere discomfort was greatly overshadowed by the Minibosses’ generosity and effort to get me into the show. Jim and I received consolation prizes for not getting in, which were these nifty fake moustaches in honor of the “Moustache Over America Tour”, of which they were playing that night. And I mean, come on, Ben gave me the shirt off his back. I’d say that’s devotion to your fans. All-in-all, it was either the shittiest good story ever, or the best crappy night of my life. I didn’t mind not seeing them that night because I was able to attend on Saturday, so there are no hard feelings there. I’ll just be sure to be born later next time, that’s all.
Until the next one, listen to the Minibosses and buy their stuff. Oh, and also, this has been Neal, and I am awesomer than you.