Carbonated News: Sonic the Whorehog

Ever wanted to take your favourite hedgehog with you wherever you go? No? Well, don't bother reading this then...

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Some things never change…

Circa 1992

sonic93Ever wanted to take your favourite hedgehog with you wherever you go? No? Well, don’t bother reading this then…

No, I mean it. Bugger off. Anyone who doesn’t want a spiky little mammal in their trousers while they’re on the bus isn’t worth the time of day.

Anyway, enough of this silliness…

Yes, that’s right! Hedgehog portability!! As soon as you read this, you shall be able to pop into any reputable store and buy the quite spanky Sonic the Hedgehog LCD game!! And it ain’t too expensive, so it’s poifect if you can’t afford a Game Gear!!

It’s quite stylish, and very well- made, so you get what you pay for in terms of build quality. In terms of the game itself, well, you can’t expect all that much from a single LCD screen game. You won’t be exploring all the different levels, encountering new enemies etc. BUT, it’s good for a quick frantic hedgehog fix, and isn’t that something that everyone craves? Or is that just me?

What? Don’t look at me like that. I like hedgehogs, OK? : )

sonic05Circa 2005

Hey kids!!

Want a crappy toy with your Crappy Meal(tm)?

Come down to (name deleted for legal reasons—but here’s a hint, it rhymes with McSponalds) and get your great new Sonic the Hedgehog videogame!! You’ll probably play it for about two minutes before you realise how crap it is, but ain’t that a coincidence—you’ll probably get the craps from your Crappy Meal(tm) anyway!!

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About the Contributor


From 2004 to 2005

Matt Wright is a former staff member from GameCola's early days as a monthly email newsletter.

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