0wning the Competition: Excellent News Articles

Excellent News Articles: Comments from 4 teens.

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Van GoghExcellent News Articles: Comments from 4 teens.

Scientists have confirmed that teenagers live in a different time zone to the rest of us.

<Kevin Leacock> It’s about fucking time someone determined this. WE’VE KNOWN THIS FOR YEARS! At least now it’s official. Now when you’re parents tell you to get up at 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning, you can tell them that it’d be a risk to your health—and they want you to be healthy, right?

<Chris Lindsay> I couldn’t agree more. That must be why I smoke. *Points at Kevin* You wake up to go to work and you’re accident prone, *points at Dan*, I wake up earlier than him and I’m a smoker. It’s gotta be it causes stress, as it causes a constant feeling of jetlag.

<Dan Kendell> I’m not diseased, not accident-prone, and not a smoker, and I sleep all day, so….

<Kate Ginger> I get woken up too early, and I’m a generally stressed person. When I was jetlagged, I thought a dog was going “meow.”

CNN viewers were able to listen to a news presenter’s conversation when her microphone was not switched off as she went to the loo.

<Chris Lindsay> I think it just goes to show that news broadcasters are actually real people—

<Dan Kendell> No they’re not.

<Chris Lindsay> It goes to show they have some concept of what family is.

<Kevin Leacock> Can we be entirely certain that it wasn’t Bush saying that? Stupid hypocrite.

<Kate Ginger> What, about his husband? He could’ve been to Vegas recently.

Accessing internet pornography that shows violence could be banned under plans outlined by ministers.

<Chris Lindsay> I don’t agree with the law. Reason being, who decides what’s violent? Where’s the line drawn? What, spanking? Tying people up and beating them? Or what?

<Dan Kendell> o/` VIO-LENT PORNO-GRAPHY! o/` …with muppets spanking each other!

<Kate Ginger> There needs to be more laws, but this is not the solution.

<Chris Lindsay> With the exception of kiddy porn, and the fact that it shouldn’t be available before a certain age, I think most laws on pornography should be abolished if it’s between consenting adults.

<Kate Ginger> The new right of backlashing stupid cunts.

<Dan Kendell> Just you wait til zein sturmbahn führer hears about this!

<Kevin Leacock> …is it still ok to *commit* violent pornography, as long as I don’t photograph and posess it? *looks at Dan with evil face*

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Since 2003

Kay Leacock is part most all the coolest and most epic and awesomest and...of GameCola's technical staff.

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