Low-Rent Adventures in Japan: Emoticons

Emoticons are big. Here are some of the stupider ones, copied straight from my cell phone.

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Emoticons are big. Here are some of the stupider ones, copied straight from my cell phone.

GREETING: (・ω・)ノ

Hi five from Dr. Zoidberg?

GREETING 2: (^へ^)v

But really, what the hell is up with some of these mouths? Is that supposed to be a frown-ish smirk?

SURPRISE: (・ω・;)(;・ω・)

Two Zoidbergs looking away from each other, each with sweat beads on the side closest to the other.

ATTACK 1 (Why is there an “attack” section?): ( ^ー^)σ”

First up is the simple suicide bomber.

ATTACK 2: (・_・)r鹵~<巛巛

But then we get into some shit that requires a bit more imagination. Is he spraying someone with hand cream? Is that a rape horn he’s blowing? Why is he looking away as he does it?

FRIEND: σ(..、)ヽ(^-^;)

We can confirm above that the first symbol is a bomb, and the bomber seems to be sad. So this emoticon represents WALKING UP BEHIND YOUR FRIEND WITH A SWEAT BEAD GOING AND TALKING HIM OUT OF BEING A SUICIDE BOMBER!

ACTION 1: ☆ヽ(~-~(・_・ )ゝ

Is he shooting some kind of projectile with an elaborate trail? A crossbow which fires stars? You need to be at least 1/4 Japanese to even attempt to answer this.

ACTION 2: o(^-^o) (o^-^)o♪

A specific emoticon for doing having your “hip slip”, and your “buttocks come into contact with the buttocks of another young man” while doing the Bump.

ACTION 3: (^_^;)\(‘_’ )

Notice this isn’t in the attack section, but this one emoticon is about to bash the other, obliviously sweaty one’s head in with a pipe. Fucking hardcore.

ANIMAL: ^(・@・)^

God rejected this animal with its misshapen mouth. But the Japanese took it in and made it their own.

japlish

SO SOLLY, IS NOT GONNA GO NEXT THE DOOR TO BUY NEW BATTERY SIZE AA ONLY FOR REASON UPLOAD PHOTO. ALREADY IS AM 5:00 AT MY COUNTRY. PLEASE CHECK THE I FOUND SITE OF GOOGLE http://www.qsl.net/ah6hy/japlish.html FOR THIS TIME LOL!

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From 2005 to 2009

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