Dear Readers: The Janish.

With that out of the way, I'd like to...what the hell. The link doesn't work anymore! WHY doesn't the link work anymore! It was so cool...it...it had me, Travis, Colin, and Terrence as elves, dancing around and singing and telling everyone—in goofy voices—to "enjoy the January issue." And now it's GONE. Why! Why would OfficeMax do this to me! I'm calling for a ban on OfficeMax. It is ON, paper supplies store. I never loved you as much as Staples.

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elf yourself(Editor’s note: This article was originally published in the January 2008 issue of GameCola, back when GameCola was published in a monthly online magazine format.)

GameCola Headquarters
Trenton, NJ 08619

January 1, 2008

Dear Readers,

BAM!!:

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1686720069

With that out of the way, I’d like to…what the hell. The link doesn’t work anymore! WHY doesn’t the link work anymore! It was so cool…it…it had me, Travis, Colin, and Terrence as elves, dancing around and singing and telling everyone—in goofy voices—to “enjoy the January issue.” And now it’s GONE. Why! Why would OfficeMax do this to me! I’m calling for a ban on OfficeMax. It is ON, paper supplies store. I never loved you as much as Staples.

Well, damn. And here I was, hoping I’d have a great surprise for you this month. Without that video, this issue’s just kinda here. Just another ordinary issue. Whoop de do. Nothing super special about it.

Oh! Wait!

Except!

That it!

IS OUR SUPER MEGA SPECTACULAR JANUARY ISSUE EXTRAVAGANZA!!

Hah! Did you really think I wouldn’t have some awesome stuff planned for you this month! C’mon! I know how convincing my ruse up there was, but still. It’s GameCola! This is what we DO in January. Just take a look at all the bullet points in this gigantic list of awesome stuff we’ve got for you this month:

  • We have—no, seriously—six new writers debuting this month: MeteoCarlAndyZach, and Colin will all be tacking reviews, while Joseph has a brand-new column for us, Source Nintendo, which takes a look at the must-have Nintendo game of the month.
  • We’ve also got special editions of your favorite GameCola columns, including Top of the HeapThe Ten Reasons, and testgame.exe: Making the Adventure.
  • And, we’ve got a real main-event matchup in Versus Mode: Current GC legend Eric Regan is taking on hero from the past Neal Iannone. Will Eric prove once and for all that he really is awesomer than Neal, or will Neal just tell Eric to shove his Super Thumb right up his Super Ass?
  • And we’re only just getting started! There’s also a special feature article called Are You Game? that’s here to rate your Wii collection so you can see if its up to snuff. (Spoiler alert! It probably isn’t.)
  • We’ve also brought back Pimp My ‘Cola for another round of video advertising amazement, and we’ve dusted off Your Top 10 Favorite Videogames for the first time since the spring of ’05.
  • And! Finally! The one you’ve been waiting for—The 2007 GameCola Interactive Video Entertainment Awards! Lego Star Wars II took home the title of “Game of the Year” last year. This year…what’s it gonna be? You’ll have to read to find out!

That’s enough with the words on this page. We’ve put together one of the best—and longest—issues of GameCola to date, so you’d better get ta reading. As my elven alter-ego said before he was crudely deleted: Enjoy the January issue!

Love,

Paul Franzen
editor in chief
e-mail: pfranzen@gamecola.net

P.S. My ladyfriend and I got a 360 from Santa this holiday season. Anyone else got one of these things? Our gamertag is, of course, GameCola.

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