Welcome to another highly anticipated edition of the famed thumbs that are super! Coming at you STRAIGHT from GameCola HQ, so you know it’s got to be special. This month I will be treating you with an esteemed collection…of crap. Yes, I have to come clean and admit it right now: These games will not be wowing the pants off anyone anytime soon. Well, anyone not suffering brain damage at least! So, lights, camera ACTION!
X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse (PS2)
HA! Gotcha! Not ALL the games are total crap; I had to throw in a decent one. This game is just that… decent! It plays exactly like the first X-Men Legends, which isn’t a bad thing because that is a very entertaining game. It does fix a lot of the annoying things from that game, which is another plus. It also adds a fun little trivia section, and some of those questions can get pretty hard! Even for… okay probably not for X-Men experts, but for ME, some were hard. However, it is not a total upgrade from the first game. The story in this game is decent but nothing exciting, and might be a bit boring at times if you do not fanatically love the fabled costumed heroes. The interaction between the player and the non-player characters in the game is kinda of lame as well. The questions you have to ask to find out information never change even when the plot of the story tells you to go back and talk to people—BIZZARO! Anyways, it still is a very fun game, especially because it lets me cause massive amounts of destruction with Wolverine! WOLVERINE!!
Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs say… THUMBS UP!
Animaniacs (SNES)
If you loved this cartoon… just like, punch yourself in the face a few times, for me, pretty please? I never was much into this cartoon so I did not think that I would be liking this game. Let’s just say… I AM a smart man. This game is a lot like many other crappy Run Around Lame Stages and Collect Things to Finish Them kinda games. Yeah I guess it has some sorta genre, but I really don’t care enough. THEY SUCK, and this is one of the lamest. As you run around the Warner Brothers studios gathering items, you have to avoid security guards because once they touch you, that member of your Yakko , Wakko and Dot trio is no more! That is, until you rescue them. Sort of like the first Ninja Turtle game, you know, the one not known for being good. So after a lot of snoozing and a lot of death, you will most likely scream or throw something in anger or just other generalized unpleasantries.
Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs say… Thumbs DOWN.
Drug Wars (DVD)
Oh, the marvel of $2 DVD/PS2 games! Well… I doubt you will ever find someone willing to risk their PS2 with this, so you may just have to settle playing it on a DVD player, like me! The controller is your DVD remote and the “game,” as it is hard to define this… thing… as a game, is all pretty much the same thing. Watching videos and then moving the little box that denotes where you are shooting over the bad guys face and clicking the uh, button that makes you shoot! INGENIOUS… well not really. Pretty sad, actually. Not only that, but maneuvering your shot box is pretty slow and cumbersome, and that is only after you actually learn how to maneuver it! Once you get shot it is back to the beginning to start over… which if you play, you will be seeing quite a few times..
Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs say… Thumbs DOWN.
WWE Crush Hour (PS2)
I for one am a fan of wrestling, as well as games involving blowing stuff up! SOOO this game seemed like it would be a slam dunk winner. IT’S NOT!! OH GOD IT’S NOT!! The horror… the hoorroorrr. I don’t think you could come up with a more dull, slow game. The number of weapons for your sweet ride is very restricted and most of them only last for one shot. The rest of the time you drive around with your weak little pea shooters or whatnot trying to snipe your rivals as they whizz by, or leisurely cruise in front of you. Overall its just a very long drawn out version of a playable car destruction game. Only those truly obsessed with the warriors of the squared circle will find any enjoyment what-so-ever in this game.
Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs Say… Thumbs DOWN.
WWF In Your House: There Goes the Neighborhood! (PSX)
Continuing with the wrestling genre… well technically that last game wasn’t a wrestling game, and well, I’m not even sure you can call this game a wrestling game, either. So continuing with the games that deepen the pockets of WWE: I present you with WWF In Your House. This game actually takes place inside a wrestling ring! Some freaky wrestler themed rings, however, a lot like stages in a fighting game. Which is exactly how this game seems to play for me. It MIGHT be the fact that the graphics resemble the early Mortal Kombat games and that there are very few “wrestling” moves that you can actually do in the game. A lot of punching and kicking are innovated and some more damaging goofier attacks with animations are there as well. Also power ups and other arcade-y elements that just seem really out of place. There is a small but decent variety of characters to choose from but very slight variations so if you’re playing against the same one as you get ready for some confusion! The game is pretty entertaining a bit for the novelty, although it will wear off fast, and you’re just left with a horrible bastard child of wrestling and fighting games. Really I must ask, doesn’t anyone think of the children? THE CHILDREN!
Captain Eric’s Super Thumbs Say… Thumbs DOWN.
Well, would you look at that! FOUR thumbs down! A new SUPER THUMBS record, I must say. Of course the quality of the games doesn’t matter; everyone knows that this was yet again the GREATEST! edition of the Thumbs yet. I would like you all to congratulate yourselves for being part of this grand occasion! That’s right! You DESERVE IT! You witnessed a great piece of history.
