Captain Eric Regan offers readers advice on their videogame-related life disasters.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo yo yo,
Why does everyone player-hate on Sonic the Hedgehog nowadays? I happen to think that it is a series which makes excellent games, with top-of-the-line voice acting and schweet graphics. Like, dude.
-D. Lusional
I was quite saddened to hear the latest news on your mental state. I am thankful, however, that they give you some Internet access in your institution.
SEGA, your gold-digging, series-dragging ways not only hurt true fans of the series, but they also hurt your beloved characters. YOUR creations! I remember better times, when Sonic was the happiest hedgehog around. All he cared about were golden rings and running around so fast that he looked like a cute little blue blur. Now? Now, he writes e-mails from his padded room in the tone of some sort of Parappa the Rappa wannabe! OH, FOR SHAME.
Forever yours,
Captain Eric
WHERE IS LUIGI IN SUPER MARIO 64 (THE 64 VERSION)? I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR LUIGI FOR A LONG TIME.
– Anonymous
Dear Caps Lock,
If you are having problems finding Luigi in Super Mario 64, I suggest that you find some better mushrooms and try again. The really good kind, like Mario always has! Boy…you will be finding Luigi in all sorts of places you didn’t know he was hiding. Fo sho.
Go away,
Captain Eric
