First-person-shooters. Classics. New ones. Some people tell me that they’re all the same. Others say it doesn’t matter which one you play — they still suck. Well, I say ‘bbullshit‘. Right here, right now, I’m comparing one to the next, pitting classics against modern ones, and system against system.
Doom, Doom II, Doom II for GBA, Doom 64, Chex Quest, Quake, Quake II, Quake for N64, Unreal Tournament, Half-Life, Wolfenstein, and Duke Nukem 3D.
Doom (PC): Doom is one of the classics. It has a plethora of levels and episodes, and a good happy amount of weapons. There was a story to it, but everyone who played it could care less about it. It started a generation. I’m still not sure which one, but it did. The short plotline: You run around, kill aliens, and save the day. Good game, good game.
Doom II (PC): Doom II is Doom with more weapons, more creatures, more secrets, slightly-better graphics, and with a storyline that moved you from somewhere else to earth. As I said with Doom, a storyline is present, and once again, anyone who played could care less. Also, in Doom II, they improved the multi-player ability which allowed network games… quite a good improvement, I feel . Same cheat codes as Doom as well.
Doom II (GBA): Doom II. On the GBA. It’s exactly the same, with the exception of smaller graphics, and they took multiplayer from the network to the GBA link cable. The controls are slightly more annoying as well.
Doom 64 (N64): They created a new story and a new game just for the N64? A bit extreme, I think. Cheat codes are different (obviously, with a controller instead of a keyboard). The gameplay isn’t as much fun. I think they rushed it out a bit to grab the console audience. I would’ve waited a while, and done something different with it. But, that’s just me.
Chex Quest (PC): A game based on cereal produced by Post. It’s based off the Doom II engine, with custom graphics, wads, weapons, creatures, people, and monsters. In short, it was a spoof. It is actually quite fun. I like it. Apparently, they also produced a Chex Quest II, but it was a flop. I think I like it just because it was Doom II, but in a cereal box.
Quake (PC): Quake. Quake. I love Quake… the original. Not this Quake III Arena crap. It has good multiplayer ability, and good story as well, that you could actually pay attention to, and play the game, and still have fun. It required thought, logic, lightning-fast reflexes, a lust for blood, and back in the day, a half-decent PC. Classic by far.
Quake II (PC): Quake II is an improved version of Quake. It moved Quake out of the DOS grounds into Windows territory. It copped the story from Quake, so no one really cared. For a sequel, they didn’t improve the graphics, weapons, monsters, or sound too well. Especially considering they went from DOS to Windows. In short, it’s a slightly different game that’s easier to install from a CD.
Quake (N64): They pulled the same thing they did with Doom for N64. I think that they really wanted to hit the console audience. But honestly, I think they went about it the wrong way. I would’ve waited it out a little longer.
Wolfenstein 3D (PC): This game started it all. It really did. No multiplayer, 8-bit pixilated graphics, and DOS 4-bit sounds. And a huge-ass rating warning at the beginning. The cheats are cool, because if you use them, they make fun of you for it. It is kick-ass fun. It receives high-ratings from me just for being there.
Duke Nukem 3D (PC): This is Duke Nukem before all the Duke Nukem PSX crap. It is DOS. It has killer sound. Kick-ass graphics. No multiplayer, but you don’t need it. My problem: not enough monsters. Sure they’re there. But, you never run into a room and are bombarded from all 15 directions by 128,923 monsters like you would be in Doom or Quake. You know? The weapons are cool, but average. Quake has it’s trademarked Railgun, Doom has it’s BFGs… but there’s nothing special for Duke Nukem players. But then, it’s a ’sexxxy’ game, after all.
You didn’t think I was just going to review classics, did you? I’m also gonna throw in some classic next-gens, just for you!
Half-Life (PC): Fun. As. Shit. But only in multiplayer. It has the crappiest single player game I’ve ever played. Too much story. Not enough killing. You know? But, the mods. Oh, the mods. Team Fortress Classic, Counter Strike, Blue Streak, you name it. Capture the Flag, and oh the fun. No bots though… Good graphics, decent sound, and a kick-ass sniper crossbow.
Unreal Tournament (PC): Funner. As. More. Shit. Bots…. and lots of them. The single player game? BOTS! And the network games? People and bots! And it has everything, no mods needed. Capture the Flag, Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, such like that. You can play haphazardly killing everything in sight (Deathmatch) or you can play strategically, controlling a team of bots using a command menu in a big flag-grabbing logic problem (CtF). My favorite? The second. Not that there isn’t SHITLOADS of killing in CtF. Ohhhh yeah.
Now… here’s the best part. My favorites:
Favorite Classic: We have a tie. Quake and Doom II both tie for this position.
Favorite Next-Gen Classic: Unreal Tournament
Favorite Mod: Another tie. Just can’t make up my mind sometimes. Team Fortress Classic for Half-Life and Chex Quest for Doom II.
Favorite Graphics: Doom II
Favorite Weapons: Unreal Tournament
Favorite Sound Effects: Wolfenstein 3D for its 4-bit crap sounds!
Favorite Background Music: Unreal Tournament
Favorite Monsters/Enemies: Doom
Favorite Console-based: Quake for N64
Favorite Background Content: Duke Nukem 3D… who doesn’t like funny-looking half-naked 8-bit-chicks?
Favorite Single Weapon: Another tie. Snarks from Half-Life and Railgun from Quake.
Favorite Over-All First-Person-Shooters:
What can I say? I love them all. I can’t single one out. They’re all unique, but great. Can’t live without them.
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