Figure Fours and Magic Eights: WWE Judgement Day 2006

As I absolutely did not predict, Figure Fours and Magic Eights actually pulled through for us last month! We went 8 for 11 in our WrestleMania XXII predictions, only missing a world title match, a Money in the Bank ladder match and one of the chick matches.

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WWE Smackdown vs. Raw for PS2 predicts what will happen at WWE Judgment Day 2006.

As I absolutely did not predict, Figure Fours and Magic Eights actually pulled through for us last month! We went 8 for 11 in our WrestleMania XXII predictions, only missing a world title match, a Money in the Bank ladder match and one of the chick matches.

Will our momentum continue? Find out now as Figure Fours and Magic Eights tackles:


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Gregory Helms (def.) vs. Super Crazy for the Cruiserweight Championship

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Helm’s first title defense since his major nose surgery came off more like a WrestleMania main event than the opening contest of a throwaway pay-per-view. Finisher after finisher was kicked out of, and these two superstars really gave it all they had. I gotta think, though, that Super Crazy would’ve had a much better shot at actually winning this thing had he been able to scale the turnbuckle without immediately thereafter falling right off of it.

Winner, and STILL Cruiserweight Champion: Gregory Helms, via pinfall after a top-rope reverse DDT at 10:00


Jillian Hall vs. Melina

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Jillian Hall, for whatever reason, came to this match dressed as Jim Ross. To counter, Melina came to this match with a bad sunburn and dancing like a crazed monkey. Her damned dirty ape strategies were for naught, though, because Jillian just beat the absolute snot out of Melina in this absolute filler match, securing the win by taking a page out of The Total Package’s playbook.

Winner: Jillian Hall, via submission during a torture rack at 3:11.


Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

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Angle carried Henry to a thoroughly unwatchable sequel to their thoroughly unwatchable encounter at this year’s Royal Rumble. Henry gave up after only a few minutes in the ring with the wrestling machine, proving once again that Angle, somehow, could best a guy perhaps best known for being the proud father of a plastic hand.

Winner: Kurt Angle, via submission during a headlock at 6:18.


MNM (def.) vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick for the WWE Tag-Team Championship

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Through a severe wardrobe malfunction, every superstar in this match appeared to be wearing the same pair of pants. This tag-team match, like every other tag-team match in Smackdown vs. Raw, lasted for just about my entire college career. I tried to distract myself from the longevity of it all by G4’s coverage of E3, but…well…it’s G4. G4 couldn’t distract a nerd from a football game.

Winner, and NEW WWE Tag-Team Champions: Paul London and Brian Kendrick, via pinfall when Brian Kendrick pinned Johnny Nitro after a backbreaker at 18:20.


King of the Ring Finals: Booker T. vs. Lashley

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Lashley showed us an aerial repertoire that he’s never really unleashed on Smackdown before; unfortunately, that repertoire worked out about as well as Super Crazy’s did. No matter! Lashley was still able to pull out the victory and become this year’s King of the Ring, following in the footsteps of such legendary pro-wrestler as Bret “The Hitman” Hart, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, and Billy “Mr. Ass” Gun.

Winner, and 2006 King of the Ring: Lashley, via pinfall after a powerbomb at 8:44.


The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali

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There was only one thing particularly surprising about this match: Neither Tazz nor Michael Cole said that “no one’s EVER dominated The Undertaker like he’s being dominated tonight.” That’s been said in just about every Undertaker match in the past ten years. We did, at least, a few weeks ago, hear The Great Khali say that he doesn’t fear The Undertaker, and that’s what sets him apart from all The Undertaker’s previous opponents. People have only been saying that in feuds with ‘Taker for the past five years.

Winner: The Great Khali, via pinfall after a punch to the face at 11:49.


Rey Mysterio (def.) vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield for the World Heavyweight Championship

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This match ain’t gonna be a comfort to those who haven’t liked how Rey’s world title run has been handled. Rey was squashed, pure and simple, like he was Melina getting her ass kicked by Jillian Hall. This result does set up RVD vs. JBL nicely for ONS, but other than that, there isn’t much good to say about it. At least Rey didn’t tap out to a headlock, like he did last month in Figure Fours.

Winner, and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: John “Bradshaw” Layfield, via pinfall after a powerbomb.


For a pay-per-view with two title changes, Judgment Day 2006 was pretty uneventful. With a handful of matches that just aren’t worth watching and the world title change nobody wanted to see, we can only hope that Figure Fours and Magic Eight’s winning streak is over.

Tune in next time a WWE PPV coincides with a GameCola deadline for more videogame predictions of pro-wrestling events!

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