On the date of August 24th, 2005, I was caught with my pants down in front of a cop car that had been set on fire, while holding a book of matches in one hand and a tank of gasoline in the other. As part of my community service, I’ve been ordered to bestow my vast knowledge upon the gaming masses.
Dear Zack,
Santa brought me Marvel: Ultimate Alliance for the Nintendo Wii for Christmas. I opened it up and started a game up right away—even got my girlfriend in on the action! Problem is, my friend got the game too; but he got it for PlayStation 3.
He wants me to play the game with him; but I want to keep playing the game with my girlfriend; and, anyway, I don’t really want to start a new character or a new game. I do want to play the game with him, but I can’t figure out how to work it out; any suggestions?
Thanks,
Wasn’t Luke Cage in Mortal Kombat?
Dear Wasn’t Luke Cage in Mortal Kombat?,
Have you ever gotten so into an RPG that you’re hesitant to do anything risky (i.e. fun) so as to not screw up the character you’ve put a lot of hours into building? Especially now that we have more games that offer more and more freedom. You may agree to help out the shopkeeper, but we all know that you’d really just like to see what happens if you kill him.
The same sort of thing applies to your situation. There’s no way around the fact that if you want to play the game with your friend, you’re going to have to create a new character. Just let that be your opportunity to try out a character you normally wouldn’t if it turns out that the character sucks, who cares? Your important character is safe at home.
-Zack
Zack,
Hi. What I want to know is…why does Nintendo insist upon releasing a better version of every one of their systems every year or so? I have issues with not having the best system available—to show you how bad it is, I actually own a Game Boy Micro—and it’s really damaging my bank account. I have to think Nintendo is discouraging early adopters by constantly releasing better versions, so why do they keep doing it? And what can I do to keep up?
Sincerely,
Eagerly Awaiting the New PSP
Dear Eagerly Awaiting the New PSP,
The reason that Nintendo keeps releasing new consoles is because dipshits like you keep buying them. It’s simple economics.
Nintendo doesn’t need to worry about discouraging early adopters, since there will be an ample number of dumbasses with too much money in their pockets. Just look at how many people hung out in lines with feverish anticipation for the Nintendo Wii.
Until you can get past your juvenile issues about having the “best system available,” you aren’t going to be able to do anything to help your back account.
-Zack
