[NSFW] Oniken (PC)

Retro to a fault.

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  • System: PC
  • Genre: Platformer
  • Max Players: 1
  • US Release: June 2012
  • Developer: JoyMasher
  • Publisher: JoyMasher
  • Similar Games: Mega Man Zero, Journey to Silius

oniken-headerI was really excited to score this review code. I’m not necessarily an NES enthusiast the way so many neo-retro games these days are built to cater to, but I always love the idea of playing a brand-new platformer that plays like they used to when I was a young’un.

Oniken fulfills that too well.

Pretty much a legitimate love letter to the Famicom way of doing things, I could easily see JoyMasher porting this ROM to plastic NES cartridges and marketing it to fans at videogame conventions and such. $19.99 would be a good price point for it. I could see some real press coverage on this too, maybe not from an EGM or Game Informer or whatever’s out these days (I don’t collect game magazines anymore), but I could see some print publications covering this. All appearances indicate this is some sort of genuine lost article from 1992 and it lives up to that indication.

But appearances are all this game really has.

Oniken1

Make no mistake, I genuinely think this is the best homebrew sprite design I’ve ever seen. It is AWESOME. The cutscenes, the characters, the enemies, the sword swings, backgrounds—if this game were released on the NES, it would still be appearing in top-ten lists for Best NES Graphics. It becomes obvious that the AUTHENTICITY was the top priority as this game was programmed, and for that, JoyMasher succeeded in spades. Many superties and subtleties in this game all ring true, and the YouTube video for it got me really excited to request this game to review.

It wasn’t long after that, however, that disappointment set in. To really get this authenticity going, something had to suffer for it. What did we learn in the 1998-2004 era of gaming when graphics and production values took center stage over gameplay? You guessed it. First of all, I had some issues trying to get this game to work well on my computer, which is more than adequate to play the game. I could not get Direct9X to work and at first I had to set my controls to my keyboard. I could not skip the extended intro (well designed though it is) and it really slowed down my interest to keep playing after I turned it on.

And playing this game on a keyboard SUCKS. I could barely get by the second stage of the first mission, and you can’t customize the controls; it just gives you a selection of choices. Eventually I was able to get my controller to work with it, but that only bought me a few more stages. This game is difficult, which is awesome for die-hards of the Nintendo school of knocks, but we improved on that example for a reason. So many of my deaths in this game were cheap. Enemies knock you back a fair bit any time you get hit, which is disorienting enough, and you get knocked down to flames and instant-death gaps.

Oniken2
By the way, how many games do you see that offer multi-story sized levels, where you can fall down to new depths of exploration at certain parts of the stage, only to die and start way back to the last checkpoint at other parts of the same stage? Punishment for exploration blows.

A game this simple should not be this hard. It’s a pretty straightforward platformer—you play as a guy with a sword who cuts through all manners of enemies in a cross between Mega Man Zero and Journey to Silius. You hit item boxes containing health-ups, sword upgrades, grenades, etc., and occasionally you find hidden extra lives in broken walls in the second stage of a mission. To its credit, it has many opportunities where it changes up the gameplay with the standard-scrolling levels, jet skis, elevator brawls, etc. and some really cool boss fights. But losing constantly to get there does not make it fun. Health upgrades are not generous in this game. Sword upgrades are constant, but they don’t do more than add a little extra reach. You can use a BERSERK mode of some kind, but it’s really quick and I didn’t find it useful. Grenades aren’t too bad, but aren’t always useful when I actually need a GUN to fairly return fire.

Oniken3
And the worst part? I couldn’t even finish the game. I got to the fourth mission before I called it a night to return later—and when I returned later I found I could not find any controls that worked. I was supposed to be able to use my controller, but all I could do was use the arrow keys on my keyboard. I don’t know if this was a glitch or an error of mine or what, but the fact remains I could only play this once, and that doesn’t usually happen to me.

After that, I just said “fuck this” and started this review. My resulting score is rather generous considering the mood I was in when I began.

So, ultimately, I feel this COULD’VE been a really kickass game, but in the focus to make it authentic and believable, it was made cheap and difficult in places it doesn’t need to be. I don’t know how other Nintendo players do it, but to me, losing dozens of lives to get to the next stage is not always my idea of fun. The gameplay needs to be addicting enough to make me want to KEEP going—I need some reward for my effort. My reward is the same as the game itself, and if I can’t even use my controller for it anymore, so what’s the point?

Awesome sprite and cinematics, JoyMasher, and I fuckin’ mean that, but let’s work on that gameplay, hmm?

A review copy of this game was provided to us by the publisher.

  • GameCola Rates This Game: 5 - Average
7 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 107 votes, average: 6.86 out of 10 (You need to be a registered member to rate this post.)
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About the Contributor


Since 2008

Meteo Xavier has been gaming for a quarter of a century and has quite a bit to talk about from that era. He is the author of "Vulgarity For the Masses" and you can find more on him and his game reviews at www.jslawhead.com.

7 Comments

  1. I like how you got a free review copy and spent the whole review bitching about how you couldn’t get your controller to work then gave it a 5.

    Classy.

    Fuck sake, you’re a reviewer. Try joy2key or some shit next time. Seriously.

    1. It was free for ME to play it, yes, but I don’t take that vantage point as I review something. If the game itself was actually free I would’ve reviewed it in that context. In this one, I can get a real NES game for $8 that doesn’t require me to download a whole other program to play it properly.

      I also call the bit about “spent the whole review bitching” into question with the article being self-evident that, no, I didn’t spend the whole review bitching on it and even exuded hope for it to improve, but I’m not going to be give it a higher number review score just because it MIGHT be better from there. Software that glitches is within the realm of fair criticism and I was pretty upfront about that.

      Thanks again for the feedback. 😀

      1. software that glitches is within the realm of criticism, sure.

        a reviewer putting a tiny amount of effort into getting around the glitch in order to write a review that’s actually representative of the experience as the developers intended it is within the realm of criticism, too. then you mention that you encountered the bug, deduct accordingly.

        instead, you whined about a hardcore 2 d action game being hard to play with a keyboard (shocking.) then crapped out a 5.

        it’s sad, and you’re not doing your job well.

        1. You sure have some strong responses considering how little you seem to be able to read at a given time. Perhaps you would like to give it a go yourself and justify the game better? Our submission page is right here: http://gamecola.net/section/fansub/

          What you’re going to find out is that this isn’t a job, it’s a volunteer gig for a hobby made out of spare time. I probably could’ve gotten around the glitch, but I didn’t feel like it was a worthy investment of my time to work through that just so that I wouldn’t have a conversation with you 2.5 years later and find out you can’t really be reasoned with.

          Sorry you didn’t like my review, but oh well. If you feel like it deserved better, by all means, submit your own review for the game. I encourage it. Don’t want to put your money where your mouth is? Then you have nothing to complain about.

          And that’s the bottom line. 😀

        2. As well, a five is a pretty solid score. Sure it’s the average, but it’s also the mark of an alright game. Maybe not a GOOD game, or a GREAT game, but it’s by no means a bad score.

          1. If I should be punished for anything, it’s not making that very fundamental point in my argument. Thank you Robyn! 😀

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