Okay, so chances are that WrestleMania XXI has come and gone by the time you’ve started reading this article. This latest issue of GameCola was only released the day of the big event, so one way or another, you may already know the results.
But if you don’t, or do but don’t care, read on to see what PlayStation 2’s WWE Smackdown! vs. Raw predicts will happen at WrestleMania XXI!
Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker
Just three minutes into the match both superstars had already used up every single move in their repertoire, with Orton low-blowing The Undertaker something like five times. Thankfully, The Undertaker finished things off with a Last Ride powerbomb at 3:20, making Randy Orton the dead man’s 13th WrestleMania victim.
Winner: The Undertaker
Trish Stratus (def) vs. Christy Hemme for the WWE Women’s Championship
Christy Hemme (looking as though she’d taken a Purplesaurus Rex bath right before the match) showed us lots of great cruiserweight moves straight out of Matt Hardy’s playbook, but it just wasn’t her night to win. Trish Stratus scored the pinfall after a Chick Kick at 6:29.
Winner and STILL WWE Women’s Champion: Trish Stratus
Sumo Tables Match: The Big Show vs. Akebono
Multiple tables were brandished and broken by our two competitors, who announcer Jim Ross claims were “writing a wrestling textbook in the ring.” In the end, Akebono powerbombed The Big Show right through a table to pick up the victory at 3:50.
Kurt Angle vs. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels
Our second intrapromotional match of the night was dominated almost entirely by HBK, who pulled out a victory at 4:50 following his patented Sweet Chin Music.
Winner: “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels
Six-Man Money in the Bank Ladder Hell in a Cell Match: Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kane vs. Christian
This match didn’t even come close to meeting its expectations — everyone brawled with one another for an ungodly amount of time before Captain Charisma was finally able to pick up the victory at 9:26, after some move I couldn’t see due to the cell obstructing my vision.
Triple H (def) vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H had absolutely no chance of winning this match. He hit Batista a few times with his knee, and removed every single turnbuckle pad that got in his way; but after TWO Batista bombs, The Game was out cold, and Big Dave won the World Heavyweight Championship via K.O. at 7:17.
Winner, and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Batista
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
Mysterio hit all kinds of sweet high-flying movies in what was easily the match of the night, and got the three-count on Guerrero at 6:31 following a 6:19.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
John “Bradshaw” Layfield (def) vs. John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship
The longest-reigning WWE champ in nearly a decade gets to continue his run with the strap, as he put away a dominated John Cena at 3:51, knocking the rapper unconscious with our fourth powerbomb victory of the evening.
Winner, and STILL WWE Champion: John “Bradshaw” Layfield