I am Hungry
Rivers: I know we have plenty of dried cabbages left on our ship, but maybe we should stock up on some food before leaving for our next destination, wherever that may be.
Narrator: So they… went to get some food.
Render & Spoonlad: Are you serious?!
Rivers: I wasn’t all that hungry…
Jonathan: It’s too late for that now; we have to go grocery shopping.
Render: Wow, this kind of sucks.
Narrator: Like the readers! BURN.
Enrique: I think they made the right decision.
Render: You would. You just didn’t get the entertainment value of that spoon humping your leg thing.
Enrique: That was NOT entertaining!
Spoonlad: Oh yes it was! Exhilarating!
Jonathan: It’s okay, Enrique. You at least can rest easy knowing that this is Spoonlad’s last day here.
Render: Did you not understand what we were talking about just a minute ago? You’re done. They don’t like you, and they voted you away.
Rivers: Seriously, I can wait till the next rest stop… we don’t need to go out of our way to get food…
Spoonlad: Well damn.
Jonathan: Sorry, buddy.
Narrator: And so the group parted ways with Spoonlad, never to see him again. I hope you all are very pleased with yourselves.
Render: And to think, we never even got to see Enrique and him in bed together… There would have been some amazing spooning puns there, let me tell you.
Rivers: Guess we’ll just have to go to an island with different utensils next time.
Jonathan: Yea, and then instead of seeing some sweet spooning action we can see some hot
Rivers: Well, that settles it. We have to get Enrique in a knife fight.
Narrator: They went to a bar! A bar in the mean part of town, down and dirty baby.
Rivers: This one looks promising.
Jonathan: Bad Dudes ‘r’ Us?
Render: Well, as long as there’s knives here.
Narrator: And then: they went in.
Rivers: Heey, bitchin’ beat, man!
Jonathan: Oh my…
Enrique: WHAT KIND OF BAR IS THIS?!?! WHY NAKED COWBOYS AND BRAWNY GUYS WITH HANDLEBAR MUSTACHES… with other guys using the handlebars as… OH MY GOD!
Render: Well, time to go.
Rivers: But this is my song!
Jonathan: Wait… is that… it is!
Render: It’s him.
Narrator: Before they could leave, him made eye contact.
Him: Ah… hey guys… this is awkward. I didn’t know you were into this kind of thing.
Jonathan: Actually, it seems to be just Rivers who is into this “scene.”
Rivers: Y-M-C-A, it’s fun to stay at the…
Narrator: When the moo sounds, you know the party is over. They all left because him is not allowed to be in the series anymore.
Render: Okay. It’s now like 1:46 and we still haven’t gotten Enrique into a knife fight.
Enrique: You fight me.
Enrique: You heard me, bitch. Bring it.
Render: Oh hell no. No you did NOT just say that.
Enrique: I said it, and I’ll say it again. Bring it, bitch, or I’ll bring it to you.
Render: Oh that’s IT. Now it’s on.
Narrator: But they didn’t have any knives!
Rivers: I’m a wee bit freaked out right now.
Jonathan: Don’t worry, I’ve got you.
Render: Jump, jump, jump!
Enrique: It’s a rush man, do it!
Narrator: So they went to the store to go get some knives.
Render: Store’s closed! It’s 1:46 like I said!
Narrator: Okay, fine. They went back to the boat.
???: I hear you are looking for Knives. It just so happens I’m looking for him, too.
Render: We don’t have time for crossovers Vash; get the hell out of here.
Vash: Yes sir.
???: So you want a knife fight, eh? I’ve got some special knives you could use.
Enrique: As long as they are sharp enough to stab his bitch ass, I don’t care how “special” they are.
???: These knives aren’t normal knives… anyone who becomes stabbed by one of them… will die.
Rivers: Don’t normal knives also kill you when you are stabbed with them?
???: With normal knives its only like 10% death. These knives have a 100% kill rating.
Enrique: Good times.
Which Gate Do You Choose?
Fight Fight Fight!
Enrique: It’s on like Donkey Kong, fool.
Render: I’m going to stab you in the eye.
WAR: Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we be friends?
I‘m sorry I Suck So Much and Voted to Remove Spoonlad From the Series.
Readers all over the world, with joined hands in a love train: Spoonlad thing, I think I love you.
This poll ends on August 7.