My favorite part of the issue was when Travis talked about eating crow, because I just learned what that phrase means (and that it exists) from the latest Series of Unfortunate Events book!
Yaaayyy children’s literature!
– Lizo
I am writing you about a matter of grave importance. Several matters of grave importance, actually. To make things a little easier for you to follow, I’ll put them in the form of a list:
1) Spoonlad. Where the hell is he. He was my favorite Gates of Life character, and he hasn’t been seen for months. I know the fans didn’t vote for him several months back, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he was voted against—just that he wasn’t voted for, which you can clearly see is an different matter altogether.
2) Where the hell even was last months issue? What’s with you guys? Only four reviews? And three of them rating over nine, at that? So few columns? You guys are slipping. I bet you’re gone before the spring hits.
3) Congrats on having so little to write about, Mr. Franzen, that you wrote an entire column begging the readers to write things for you. Maybe you shouldn’t be the editor in chief if you don’t even have anything to say.
4) Also, those letters you post are crap, and they don’t even make any sense. Apparently your readers don’t understand basic grammar or how to construct even the most simple of sentences. ‘Course, you can only expect so much from your readers when you have to bribe them to give you any sort of feedback. Way to go on that one, champ.
5) Something I’ve noticed about your writers: They curse. A lot. I know most of them are probably still in high school and worse, but hasn’t anyone thought to tell them how fucking stupid all that swearing sounds?
6) Re: Digital Championship Wrestling. Do you… uh… have a lot of readers that are into pro-wrestling? I don’t get this column.
Bring back Spoonlad. Now.
Matthew M. Matthews
I just found this site because it was in Richo Rosai’s sig over at GameFAQs, and I have to say: Zack rocks! The letters section was refreshingly obnoxious and the Zelda chick was cute. It made me wish I were at the convention with a camera. I hope he answers more letters in the future, though.
Jason Venter
Hello
I saw you website about Backgammon and it’s got some pretty cool stuff
A friend and I have also created a site on Backgammon, coz shes pratically a
player and im just helping out with the website.
I am thinking would it be possible to ask for a link exchange?
If you are interested lets do it, my 2 sites are below,
Rgds
Lydia Wong
Hello
I saw you website about Game,Poker and Casino related and it’s got some pretty cool stuff
A friend and I have also created a site on Backgammon, coz shes pratically a
player and im just helping out with the website.
I am thinking would it be possible to ask for a link exchange? https://gamecola.net/gclinks.html
If you are interested lets do it, my 2 sites are below,
Rgds
Lydia Wong
Low-Rent Adventures in Japan was good this month. I learned the important life lesson that bad, cold appartments are an international experience.
Genevieve Regan
Paul Franzen, working on the January issue.
– The Lizo
Talim, of Soul Calibur
– Brian Vanek
Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams (PS2)
I’ll be the first to admit that perhaps this score is a bit high in the overall scheme of things, but shit, I had a fun time playing through this little bugger.
Silent Hill 2 takes place right after SH1 and the town is still haunted by blah blah blah. Who fucking cares what the story is? No, wait bitch, I’ll tell ya: Your dead wife called/sent a letter/smoke signaled you to come to the eerie town of Silent Hill, your favorite place when she was still alive. Wa-hoo! I’d be on the first fucking train to creepysville. By the way, THIS was her favorite place to go? This fog-infested, dead-nurse-crawlin’, graveyard filled horror show? I’d be like, “Fuck you bitch. Not only would I not meet you here if you were alive, I’d fucking set myself on fire to avoid meeting you there now that you’re my dead zombie wife.” I’d just casually toss the letter and tell her I’m on my way. And then not go.
So, yeah, I used a walkthrough. So what? It saved me trying about 60 different doorknobs wandering around darkly lit hell-halls and beating in the zombie heads of a hundred different nurses/crawly beast things with the nail and board combo. It made the game…fun. It made the game atmospheric. That I like. I blew through it in about 8-10 hours, caught all the cool cinemas, knew when to avoid giant, knife-wielding creatures. Fuck, I didn’t even have an episode like I did in Metal Gear where I got so frustrated I almost killed every person alive.
Plus, there was this annoying little bitch whore who kept taunting you throughout the game, fucking with you at every corner. Fuck her. If I ever see her, she’s dead.
(***1/2)
– Travis Combs
One hot summer night not too long ago, two bored college kids sat with beers in hand in the heat of summer, trying to stay cool and trying to get drunk. These two legendary heroes sat in front of a TV realizing they would soon be too drunk to play Super Smash Brothers on the Nintendo 64 sitting in front of them. With a quick few firing of neurons, Get Smashed Brothers was born.
The rules for Get Smashed Brothers are simple and malleable, being as they were made up by two slightly buzzed college students. For all you underage readers out there, Get Smashed Brothers can also be played with juice or soda, because I�m positive that GameCola in no way supports underage drinking… ever.
The rules for Get Smashed Brothers are as follows:
- The game is set to computer player mode for two or more opposing players. This can be played as one computer controlled player per drinker, or two computer controlled players and teams for each player. (Tip: Fewer players on screen make the match less confusing once drunkenness kicks in.)
- The life of each character is set to the level of smashedness you wish to achieve. Twenty-five lives will get you good and drunk, where as five lives will leave you barely buzzed but will allow for many rounds.
- Each player of the game picks an on screen fighter to cheer for the duration of the match.
- Players drink each time their fighter loses a life.
- Losers drink at the end of the game for every life the winner has left.
Those are the base rules for Get Smashed Brothers. There are some house rules in existence that can be used as options for those who are longing for more drinking during the duration of their Smash Brothers match:
- When a character taunts, the opposing team (or teams) has to drink.
- When the in-game crowd cheers during the match it�s a social drink and all players drink.
You can also invent your own house rules in order to put your own personal spin on Get Smashed Brothers. The important thing is to have fun, get drunk (or very well hydrated for those underaged players), and scream at a TV that is simulating battles between your favorite video game characters.
– Becca Clipper
