Chapter Thirty:
You Kidding Me?
Barin: Come here, fellows! I will not allow you to be destroyed by bears, for I will be the one to destroy you! I will help you out now and kill you later, so come aboard!
Render: That sounds like such a bad idea…
Jonathan: I agree with you, but we don’t have many options in this situation. I trust our odds on the ship more than dealing with these singing sea bears.
Render: Alright then, let’s leave these bears to Enrique and Genericus.
Rivers: I have no problem with that.
Narrator: Neither do I. The group went onto Barin’s ship, leaving the giant mess of messes to Enrique and his crony.
Barin: Welcome aboard, gentlemen. Now, prepare to die.
Rivers: Nope.
Barin: What?!
Narrator: Rivers played the Warp Whistle!
Render & Barin: NOOOOOO!!!!
*ELSEWHERE*
Render: I hate you so much, Rivers.
Rivers: Pfffft, you know that was a brilliant move.
Jonathan: Well, we are out of the frying pan, so to speak…
QM Girl: How does the rest of that expression go? Out of the frying pan…
Render: Into an active volcano sitting on a ledge above boiling lava surrounded by fork people?
Rivers: Whatever.
Fork King: Silence! You witches have one chance to confess your witchiness and be purged in the holy lava! If you do not comply, we will poke you into the boiling hot lava!
QM Girl: Guys! Let’s confess!
Render: Yeah! We don’t want to be BURNED ALIVE if we don’t!
Jonathan: So let’s confess!
Rivers: And be BURNED ALIVE!
Fork King: Ha ha! How right you are! Now, out with it, you witches!
Render: Narrator…
Narrator: Oh right, sorry. They were being sarcastic.
Fork King: Whaaaaat?!!
QM Girl: Haaaaa!
Render: Dork.
Fork King: Enough of this! Forklass, come use your feminine charms on these cretins.
Rivers: YES!!!
Render: What are you yessing at? Aren’t you…
Rivers: Insanely happy there’s another utensil-person that I hope will fill the void left in my heart by spo–
Narrator: Rivers shut the hell up, because that name will never be mentioned again.
Rivers: Lame.
Forklass: Hello, gentlemen.
QM Girl: *sigh*
Forklass: Oooh, there’s a manly looking man. I think I’ll start with you, manly man…
QM Girl: Awww Rendy, she thinks you’re a manly man!
Render: She’s looking at you, buddy.
QM Girl: …That’s just plain hurtful.
Forklass: Come here manly man…
QM Girl: Eew… it even has a moustache…
Rivers: You know who loved moustaches? Sp–
Narrator: Silence!
Fork King: Silence!
Narrator: I’m the narrator, buddy. You do not silence me, I silence you.
Fork King: What insolence!
Narrator: Fork King exploded.
Exploded Fork King: …
Narrator: Thaaaaat is what I thought.
Enrique: Muahahaha! Looks like you fools are in even more trouble than when you left me stranded on the island with the sea bears!
Render: Perfect, jump in!
Jonathan: Never thought I’d hear him say that…
Narrator: Nevertheless! The group jumped through Enrique’s portly center.
*ELSEWHERE*
Barin: Ha! The fates have lead you back to me, you fools! Time to die!
Narrator: Rivers blew the Warp Whistle again.
*ELSEWHERE*
Render: Ahhh, this is why I love teleporting!
QM Girl: This isn’t so bad…
Jonathan: Could be worse…
Rivers: It’s kind of nice, actually.
Narrator: As the group soured over a vast, unrecognizable ocean on the back of a gigantic seagull, Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VI of Trelenodora tried to maintain his calm and not completely lose his mind. It didn’t really work.
Render: GAAAAHHAHAHAH GOD DAMN CHEATING ASS AI!!
Rivers: Whee!
Jonathan: Woah!
QM Girl: Hoo rah…
Render: Alright, I think I have a plan.
Narrator: Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VI of Trelenodora jumped off of the giant seagull.
QM Girl: That’s the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of…
Jonathan: I think you are forgetting about the past few episodes.
QM Girl: Probably.
Rivers: Oh well.
Narrator: The rest of the crew followed Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VI of Trelenodora off the side of the bird.
Giant Seagull: Good-bye, my friends! Have a safe journey!
*THUD*
Render: Well, that was an experience.
QM Girl: Heeey, looks like this island is abandoned! Are there actually any towns in this world, or do you people just plan on wandering around aimlessly on deserted islands forever.
Jonathan: It’s been working out all right so far…
Rivers: Yeah, it’s pretty nice, actually.
Render: Hmm, Qyumie, I don’t think this island is abandoned…
Which Gate Do You Choose?
Paulpular Demand
Rivers: It’s Spoonlad!!! YES!!!
Oh… It’s Those People
Large Stone Wall: Heeeeeelllloooooooooo.
Strange Creature: I want my whistle, Rivers.
You Won’t Get Away
Barin: It’s time for you all to die, once and for all.
Render: That reminds me, didn’t you die at one point?
This poll ends on February 7.
