The Bitch Lost Her Bite and Was Rendered Confused
Readers: Why was Liaunde so nice when she used to be such a hardcore bitch?! What happened?!
Rivers: Wait… what the hell? Render has a different name? QM Girl yea, but whaaat? You make no sense. Explain.
Rivers: Explain yourselves!
QM Girl: …?
Render: OK, fine. It’s like this…
Liaunde: Not so fast.
Narrator: Go away, we are gonna find out some juicy information!
Liaunde: About what?
Narrator: I don’t even remember!
Liaunde: Well, you are also supposed to find out why I am not a bitch anymore. And I think I’ll explain that, first.
Render: That’s rather bitchy of you.
Evil Narrator: Genericus stepped on the scene at that moment, coming up behind Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VI of Trelenodora and slicing him in half.
QM Girl: What? What are you-
Evil Narrator: Before she could finish her question, Genericus cut her down as well.
Genericus: I’ll just be taking your heads.
Jonathan: What are you talking about? What is wrong with you.
Evil Narrator: She did not have time to explain, for Genericus cut her head off as well.
Rivers: What the hell is going on??
Narrator: You can’t just narrate like that! Do you even have a license!? I’m unnarrating that crap.
Evil Narrator: Narrator died a horribly bloody death and could not unnarrate anything.
Jonathan: This does not look very good…
Genericus: I’ll be back for you two. For now, I have more important business to take care of.
Evil Narrator: And so the great General Genericus left Rivers and Jonathan with the decapitated corpses of Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VI of Trelenodora, QM Girl and Liaunde, and they could do nothing but wallow in despair! Muahahahaha!!
*26 minutes later*
Barin: I see you have brought me the head of that bastard, just as I requested.
Najen: Wow… I can’t believe he actually did it…
Dugo: He’s even better than I thought.
Genericus: I’ve brought a couple extra for you, too. Have you brought me what I requested?
Apul: Mmmmm hmmmmm!
Evil Narrator: Apul brought Tryn to the front of the ship, bound, gagged, sealed and delivered to Genericus, as promised.
Barin: I still don’t know why you wanted that annoying woman.
Genericus: I have my reasons.
Evil Narrator: Tryn shot him an evil glare, but the great Genericus was not phased. He is not phased by anything. Muah HA haha HA!
Barin: Well, I guess that concludes our business.
Genericus: Just one more thing, before I go.
Najen: What is it?
Evil Narrator: Genericus answered with his blade, slaughtering Barin, Dugo, Najen, and Apul before they could even move to defend themselves.
Enrique: What? Are you EFFing kidding me?
Jonathan: I wish we were.
Rivers: Look, I know there’s been some bad blood between us as of late, but we really need your help taking down Genericus.
Enrique: Well, I just had a problem with Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VI of Trelenodora. I have no problem helping you guys out.
Jonathan: Perfect. Now we just need a plan to defeat him.
n00b: I may have a plan.
Rivers: What? Where did you come from?
n00b: Over there.
Enrique: We don’t need plans from you.
n00b: Please, this is personal. He’s taken Tryn, my tag-team partner.
n00b: She’s the only one to ever have shown me any respect! She’s the only one who would hang around me and who actually cared about being in my super awesome club!
Enrique: Touching, but no.
Rivers: Come on, man, let’s at least hear him out.
Fake Enrique: OK, fine. But I’m just doing this for you and your cute butt, Rivers. Not for him.
Rivers: Damnit! So close!!!!!! You had my hopes so up!!
Enrique: Too bad.
Jonathan: Anyway, let’s hear your plan, n00b.
n00b: OK, it’s like this…
*7 minutes later, face-off with Genericus*
Genericus: Ah, thank you for saving me the trouble of hunting you down. Are you ready to die?
Rivers: I don’t think so. We have a plan.
Which Gate Do You Choose?
Rivers: I’ll use my unstoppable fusion powers to solve this mess!
Enrique: I’ll use my insanely powerful necromancer powers to summon up some severely pissed off dead people to infect you with disease!
n00b: How about you actually use my goddamn plan instead of just doing your own thing as always? Would it kill you?!
2061: A Sea Bear Odyssey
Jonathan: Where did those 2061 sea bears come from?
This poll ends on April 7,