Scientists estimate that a picture is worth roughly one thousand words. Based on this theory, this will be my most word-valuable article yet, despite containing the fewest words.
Yep.
JAPANESE GRAFFITI
When you think of graffiti, you probably think of roving gangs of violent thugs whom you wouldn’t want to run across after dark. You probably picture brick walls covered with profanities and intimidating gang names.
You probably don’t think of this.
That’s right. The Japanese can never, ever be cool no matter what they’re doing. They’re either 15 years behind in their copying of the West, or they get it terribly wrong to begin with. They even managed to lame up graffiti by tainting it with this creepy, anime-ish quality.
Now, these intimidating gang names usually have some kind of illegal or morbid implications, like the classic “crips” and “bloods,” right? Well, over here we have gangs with names like this to strike fear into our hearts:
Sounds like some lame rip-off of the Power Rangers marketed by the USDA.
But if you think that’s bad, check out this hardcore tagger’s moniker:
I always had a feeling that North Pole jive was a little out there.
Here we see some avant-garde dadaist graffiti.
And finally, I have to admit that there are at least some decent attempts at hardcoreness, at least an inside-out-clothed 1989 gradeschool kinda way. Here is one in particular by the aforementioned Santa. If only the jolly old MATHE FUCKER had checked his dictionary!
It feels strange to be taking pictures of an ass for reasons other than to masturbate to it. But I’m always on the lookout for that crazy Japlish, because I love you all so much. That being said, such teasing phrases on shirts should be outlawed, darn it.
