Wall Street Kid (NES)

Wall Street Kid is horrible. End of story. What's the first thing you think of when you think of the stock market and investments? For me, it's the classic red/green scrolling ticker tapes, and histor

With content involving Tags , , , , , , , ,
  • System: Nintendo Entertainment System
  • Genre: Simulation
  • Max Players: 1
  • US Release: June 1990
  • Developer: Sofel
  • Publisher: Sofel
  • Similar Games: Putting Your Nuts in a Vice 64

Wall Street Kid is horrible. End of story. What’s the first thing you think of when you think of the stock market and investments? For me, it’s the classic red/green scrolling ticker tapes, and historical charts on the values of stocks. This game has neither of these things. You play as “The Wall Street Kid,” some rich fuck with an inheritance. It sounds like you’re a superhero, but the only power you have is sucking ass. This is one of those simulation games, but unlike SimCity, where there are many things to micromanage, all you do here is buy some random stocks and hope for the best. Since you can’t look at historical information, the only thing you have to go off of is the current value of a stock versus the previous day’s, and what is deemed a “hot stock” in the Wall Street Journal (called the Wall Street Times in the game). Occasionally you’ll also get info that says a toy company had a bunch of recalls, so obviously you’ll want to sell that stock.

The only thing "Top Secret" about this game is that it is awful.
The only thing "top secret" about this game is that it is awful.


The game starts off with some bonehead telling the kid that his relative died or some shit and you have to buy a one-million dollar house and then eventually buy your family’s castle back to keep it in the family. Well, why did the douchebag sell it in the first place? Anyways, if you do what the lawyer says, you’ll be eligible to inherit $600 billion from your dead uncle. Why the hell would you have to do all this stuff to get it? What happens if you fail? I guess you have to play the game, but trust me, you definitely don’t want to.

Why even bring up April Fool's like that? What an ass. The game actually starts on Monday April 3rd, but April 3rd wasn't a Monday in 1990, so what the crap?
Why even bring up April Fool's like that? What an ass. The game actually starts on Monday April 3rd, but April 3rd wasn't a Monday in 1990, so what the crap?


All the stocks have really corny names. They took real company names and added an extra letter, like investing in the Yapple computer company. What a load. Also, you can invest in Bethlehem Steel. Since they are now bankrupt, I guess I should stay away. There don’t seem to be any commission prices on the stocks, either. If the game is nothing but buying stocks, why don’t they teach you basic stuff like that? What were they thinking? You can also do other stupid crap, like woo your girlfriend with money or talk to some asshole investor who charges you $500 just to explain the stock market in a very general way. I don’t understand who this game is targeted to. It certainly doesn’t send a good message to kids. Sometimes your fiancée asks you to buy stuff, like a TV. You can choose from the high-end or medium-end types, as if she’ll love you only if you pick the expensive one. I’d dump that bitch for being so self-centered. But maybe I’m looking into this too much…this game is horrible indeed.

Exciting, right?
Exciting, right?


You can exercise your character also, but other than wasting time, it doesn’t seem to do anything. You can just skip the whole damn day if you want. I got a call on Week 2 that a house was selling for exactly $1 million and I had to pay in cash by Saturday if I wanted it. What the hell kind of trade is that? I decided to go for it, hoping my Rattel Toys stock would keep rising. It didn’t and the game was over, as if that was the last house on Earth.

People bought stocks on personal computers in 1990. Interesting
People bought stocks on personal computers in 1990. Interesting.


I can’t believe they were still shoveling out crappy games like this in 1990. There’s really no excuse. Sometimes games are so bad they’re bad, and sometimes you just want to close your NES lid down on your ass cheeks.

  • GameCola Rates This Game: - Worthless
  • Score Breakdown

  • Fun Score: 1 - What can be more fun than pretending to buy stocks and pretending to woo a girlfriend at a very slow pace?
  • Novelty Score: 1.2 - I suppose the game is unique, but so is taking a dump in the oven.
  • Audio Score: 1 - Same crappy music over and over.
  • Visuals Score: 1 - An NES game from 1990 with crappy still shots and basically no animation. Where is the green/red ticker tape text?
  • Controls Score: 1 - Any game where you control a cursor with the d-pad and can't adjust the sensitivity is horrible.
  • Replay Value: 1 - You're not even going to finish the game, so you sure as hell won't replay it, either.
2 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 102 votes, average: 5.50 out of 10 (You need to be a registered member to rate this post.)
Loading...

About the Contributor


From 2006 to 2017

Mark Freedman is a hard hitting reporter on just what the crap is going on in the world of video games.He also writes reviews and manages the staff Q&A column. Occasionally, he has been known to take a shower. zzzz

13 Comments

  1. This was one of the first NES games I owned aside from the pack-in Mario/Duck Hunt, and thus I played the hell out of it. After I got the gist of buying low and selling high, I actually enjoyed this game. Probably would never like it now, but back then when it was all I owned along XEXYZ, then yeah it had to suffice.

  2. I had this game when I was a kid and I loved it. Well that’s because I’m pretty damn smart. I don’t mean to disrespect but I can understand people with an IQ of 70 and below wouldn’t get this game so I’ll give you a pass. You said so yourself you couldn’t even get the house in the very first challenge.

  3. Maw’s comment reminds me of this one time, a few days after I took the MENSA admission test (which consisted solely of playing Wall Street Kid with a satisfactory degree of skill) I was playing Super Mario 1 and I beat the game and found the princess in the castle in level 1-4. Bowser conceded the fight right away, handed her over and then I scored with her on the collapsible bridge above the lava.
    I mean, I don’t mean to offend, but I can understand if a giant moron who everybody hates, like yourself, goes on the whole eight level goose chase with people giving you the runaround about princesses being in another castle. It’s because you’re dumb, that’s all. No offense.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *