[EXPLICIT] Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber (PC)

Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber game took me a long time to play through. Not because it’s a long game (in fact, it’s quite short), but because it destroyed little pieces of my soul with every second I spent clicking through the eight-thousand pages of text. To sum up why, I will show you a little bit of a conversation I had with GC’s Editor-in-Chief (who I hold fully responsible for bringing this game up in the first place). To give you a bit of background, Paul and I were IMing about a review code for a new otome game I’m planning to review.

Paul: Got a code for you! Where should I send it?

Matt: G-mail. Otomes are games for girls! It’s like a damn romance novel game, apparently.

Paul: Too late to back down now! You’re committed.

Matt: I am playing a game where dudes pee in girls’ mouths, gang rape them, then pee on them some more. I think this will be a welcome break!

Paul: You should copy/paste that into your review.

Matt: Will do.

Yep. The three best words to describe this game would be: urine, feces, and rape. Basically, the three least appealing things associated with sex. Why not make a game about consensual sex where no one pees or poops on anyone? Now that I mention it, I’ve yet to play one of these porno games that isn’t full of rape. In fact, in the interest of putting more text in here before the actual review, so people don’t accidentally scroll to one of the images, I’ll write up an original scene which could easily be included in one of these games:

Virginia: I have a weird excuse for wearing a kimono all the time! Boy, I hope the big city isn’t too much for a tight virgin girl like me!

Raper X: Hey! Guess what! I found some secret information about you that you don’t want anyone to know about and/or I have some information that you need about something! Come here a second.

Virginia: Can you give me all of that information and then go away without raping me?

Raper X: Nope! Please remove your inexplicable kimono and prepare for some rape.

Virginia: OK, fine. I’m new though, so what do I do here?

Raper X: First, you’ll be sucking me off.

Virginia: (OMG he is so huge. SO HUGE. Ugh it stinks! Stinky, huge penis in my mouth omg!!)

Raper X: Yeah… Yeah… You’re so good and you like this!

Virginia: No I do not! (ugh, how can he say that…oh wow, why am I getting so wet?)

Raper X: Splurt splurt splurt.

Virginia: Ew my face is covered in your lava-hot man juice.

Raper X: Awesome. Now I’ll tie you up and rape you in the ass and/or vagina.

Virginia: Nooooo! (God damn I am so hot.)

Raper X: Rape rape rape.

Virginia: You know what, I actually love this! YES, fuck me more!!!

THE END.

That’s really not an exaggeration. A good portion of the stories in this game are just different dialogue over that same scenario.

 

Anyway, enough stalling! Review time. For reals. *deep breaths*

OK. I’m ready.

 

This game is broken down into five stories, one for each character. I’ll go over each character—and post some hot images of babes pooping in buckets—but first, a few universals:

There are technically branching plotlines with each story, but they are so arbitrary it’s impossible to make any real decisions. For example, the character will have to go to the bathroom, and you have to choose whether she goes to the bathroom on the third floor or the fifth floor. Paths can have extremely different outcomes, but you have absolutely no way of knowing beforehand what your choice will mean.

In multiple stories, this ridiculous “toilet superman” shows up. He’s basically a burly custodian who is obsessed with toilets, and enjoys drinking urine and ripping clothes off of women. He gets extremely pissy when people disrespect his glorious toilets. Literally—he pees on people.

Being a game about girls going to the bathroom, there are naturally a lot of disgusting sound effects. Farting, pissing, squishing, squirting, exploding poo, etc. Because the images aren’t enough, of course.

There is a LOT of text in this game. Most of it has nothing to do with the actual “juicy” scenes; it’s just seemingly endless monologue while you look at boring backgrounds.

Get used to it, because clicking through text over backgrounds like that is the majority of the game. Thankfully, there is a fast-forward button that automatically stops when you get to make one of those arbitrary decisions, and a rewind button for when you finally see a naughty picture pop up and want to read what’s going on.

Once you do get to the “good” (I made air quotes in real life, as well) parts, they are really just still images. Occasionally, facial expressions change—you’ll see a woman’s face pre- and post-semen explosion, or you’ll see a woman’s ass pre- and post-poop explosion—but once you see the scene, you just read a bunch of stuff while looking at the same picture. Yes, that seems to be how most of these games are, but I’m going to mention it every time, as I think it’s lazy and unsatisfying!

This game does have a pretty good gallery, however. You can view any scenes/images you’ve seen previously, as well as listen to any of the BGMs in the game. I believe there are “secret” scenes in the game as well, but I have no idea how to unlock them. I just know that, in my quest to fully experience the game, I went through every plot branch for every character, but still have missing images/scenes in my gallery. There must be some secret choices or something, but I’m not the one to find them.*

 

That’s the basic gist. Now onto the girls:

Ikumi Mitarai

The inspiration for Virginia in my rape story above. She is incontinent, which somehow forces her to wear a kimono. The basic shy virgin girl sterotype.

Her storyline basically revolves around her trying to overcome her incontinence. She gets a catheter and straps a pee bag to her leg for a while, tries out some new-age sucking-on-her-doctor’s-vagina technique, and basically whatever else she can think of to fix her problem. Including…

Becoming a urinal! Yaaay! On one path, the toilet superman I mentioned above decides that Ikumi needs to become a toilet to appreciate the toilet, since she disgraced it with her catheter usage. Of course, after he himself pees in her mouth, he leaves her tied up in the bathroom where she’s raped by countless guys, then peed on some more. It’s cool, though—she learns to love it.**

Reika Toi

Our next stereotype is Reika. She’s basically the narcissistic model, who thinks she’s too good for everyone. Obviously she’ll need to be raped down a peg or two.

Reika’s big thing turns out to be “scatology exhibitionism.” She doesn’t know it at first, but after some blackmail and ass raping, she comes to terms with her love for pooping in front of a live audience. She also happens to be constipated, but that’s nothing a little anal sex can’t cure, am I right?

In one of her positive endings, she becomes a millionaire porn star, specializing in all things poop. It’s every little girl’s dream.

Julyne Kawaya

It was somehow even harder to suspend my disbelief for Julyne than the other girls. She’s apparently half-Japanese (God damn you), half-Canadian, and all hot. Seriously—she’s referred to as super hot throughout her story, but to me, she looks like an orc.

Julyne doesn’t have a toilet-related issue, per se, but she works as a nurse for a urologist, and is also something of a lesbian.

I guess that’s really all we need to know.

Shoko Habakari

Shoko is our repressed housewife stereotype. She doesn’t exactly suffer from incontinence or constipation like Ikumi or Reika, but she does have to go to the bathroom right at the onset of the story. Bonus: you get to choose whether she has to pee or poop! YES!

Of course, what fun would it be if she actually made it to the bathroom without any trouble? Some urethra massages courtesy of the toilet superman, and who needs a toilet?

Talk about irony.

Setsuko Nagare

And last…and least, actually…we have the schoolgirl stereotype. Virgin, curious about sex, wears glasses, is nicknamed something to do with toilets, etc. You know the drill.

She finds herself in a bathroom, and decides to do some masturbating. Depending on which choice you pick (don’t worry, you’ll have no idea what you’re picking), she’ll either get raped by a random stranger, or die of toxic shock syndrome. OK, so she doesn’t exactly die, but getting a tampon permanently imbedded in your vagina can’t be good for your health. I lost my train of though. Here’s an image:

Oh yea, the old plunger-on-the-boobs trick for enlarging one’s breasts. See, this game isn’t just about sexy peed-on women—it also has helpful tips!

And, that about wraps Water Closet up!

 

….

OK, I realize I’ve gotten through the entire review merely mentioning women pooping, without actually showing any images of it. I just wouldn’t feel right not giving you all what I know you truly want. So, here it is:

You’re welcome.

….

….

Moving on!

The only people who should consider this game are ones who are really into “scatology” and “watersports.” Since the entire game is just clicking through text until you get to “payoff” pictures, and the payoff is always covered in shit, there is not a single redeeming thing here for anyone else.

Since I don’t want to give the impression that my score is completely biased, based solely on my distaste for the content, here’s a breakdown of a couple of the major pluses and minuses that contributed to the score:

+ multiple characters to choose from

+ branching paths in each story

– boring, drawn-out monologues over bland backgrounds for a good portion of every story

– arbitrary choices that do not make you feel like you’re making meaningful decisions

n fast-forward button

n comprehensive image/music gallery

I put “n” (neutral) for a couple notables, because, while I think those are good features, they exist in every one of these games I’ve played. They are, in my opinion, staple features, and games don’t get extra points for including them unless they are exceptional for some reason. Games will, however, be severely penalized for not having them. Unfair, I know, but I don’t care.

As you can see, each positive aspect has a negative counterpart. If you think the positives outweigh the negatives, definitely check this game out. In my opinion, though, the negatives basically kill the positives. For example, I don’t care how many “choices” I have in the game if they are completely meaningless to me as I make them.

Even though I tried not to use this aspect in my scoring, the most important deciding factor is whether you are into the content. The game has limited appeal outside of its specific content area, to say the least. Bottom line: If you’re into this stuff, you might like this game. If you’re not into this stuff, you’ll definitely hate it.

 

Special bonus!

I was replaying this game to get screenshots after completing my review, and I accidentally found one of the secret endings.

You’re welcome, again.

 

*If you’re up for the challenge of finding the secret scenes, do let me know.

**I shouldn’t have to say this, but if you don’t realize I’m being sarcastic when I say things like this, I totally hate you.