• Mega Man 3 (NES)

    ...Steve Jobs’ health. Blame the economy. You know what I’ve been doing to get by? I’m writing paranormal EROTICA and eating the food that fell on my kitchen floor. I’m...

  • Gamer Girlfriend: Gamer Boyfriend

    ...be careful: As I learned with Kingdom Hearts and Chrono Trigger, concepts such as stats and armor do not naturally come to those without a background in gaming and can...

  • Cheat Codes for Life

    On the date of August 24th, 2005, I was caught with my pants down in front of a cop car that had been set on fire, while holding a book...

  • Inside the Guide: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

    ...get a cannon ball through a door. I realize the game is set up this way just to make the puzzles harder, but come on. He can’t figure out how...

  • Burnout Paradise (PS3)

    ...city streets against up to 8 other AI-controlled cars as you can drifting around corners high in the mountains. Aside from the minor irritation of DJ Atomika, resident “DJ” and...

  • Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)

    ...game. Special road? The last 20 or so stars? The no-FLUDD levels? What bliss they were! So when a new Mario game came out, it was only about a week...

  • Donkey Kong Barrel Blast (Wii)

    ...six races due to the approachably coined “Wii-waggle Syndrome” that every other Wii game causes. You can’t sit down and play this for even an hour until you get sick...

  • Rayman (PS1)

    ...colognically irritating…um…shit, I really don’t know how to end that sentence because I don’t know what to call him…beagle? You want me to call him a beagle? What the hell...

  • Snowboard Kids (N64)

    ...flawless Sonic the Hedgehog for the 360 really is. I can also talk about how stupid putting underscores in your username really is, and that Big_Blaze and I can never...

  • Final Fantasy II (SNES)

    ...PlayStation came around, this game is forever etched in my memory as a brilliant work. Granted, it’s lost a little of its effect over time, but it’s still a classic...