I really want to go to bed right now. It's warm. I almost said that it's warm and inviting, but then I realized how cliched that sounds. So I decided to say that it's just warm. Have I mentioned yet that I'm a little tired? I'd like to go to bed, but I can't—not until this column is finished, at least. For I, absolutely not following my own advice, have waited until the absolute very last minute to crank this puppy (wtf, is that even a phrase) out.