Welcome to "Oh, the Humanity!", the column that reviews various videogame-based spin-offs. Nobody's heard from this column for a while, because the old columnist, Zack Huffman, had to quit for the sake of his sanity. In fact, I'm told that he still weeps uncontrollably at the thought of videogame movies. Unfortunately, this means that the task of warning everyone about videogame-based horrors has fallen to me.