Carbonated News (June 2002)

- Starting Sept. 14, Kirby (whom you all know from such games as Kirby's Adventure, Kirby's Dreamland, Kirby's Star Stackers, and various other games whose title is preceded by the name "Kirby") will

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kirby tv– Starting Sept. 14, Kirby (whom you all know from such games as Kirby’s Adventure, Kirby’s Dreamland, Kirby’s Star Stackers, and various other games whose title is preceded by the name “Kirby”) will be joining Fox’s Saturday morning lineup.  The series will revolve around Kirby’s ability to suck from his enemies their attributes, and take them for his own. Be sure to keep an eye on the Fox network so that one day you can take part in viewing Kirby: Right Back at Ya!.

– Cereson is at work on a World War II themed role-playing game in the third quarter of 2002.  The game is said to be much akin to Diablo II, except without monsters, magic, hell, sexy Sorceresses named Jade Mojo, amulets that add +1 to your character’s dexterity, Blood Raven, potions, Diablo, the accursed Act III, shrines that bring forth swarms of magical bugs, the Horadric Cube, Death Mongrel the Inflammable, quests to find things that don’t really exist (see:  the accursed Act III), items meant only for Barbarians so that no matter how hard you tried you cannot equip them onto your Paladin, cows, and pretty much everything else associated with the Diablo series.

– A sequel to PS2 ground-breaker Red Faction is underway.  Sayeth THQ, “players [will] be involved in non-stop action, and the ablility to completely interact with the game world”.  In short, Red Faction 2 is going to be exactly like the original, but with nicer graphics or something.

– Disney, a company known for their extreme sports, are to be coming out with a series of motocross, skateboarding, and other such games, starting well known cartoon folk such as “Big Bad Pete”.

Finally, a reason to purchase an X-Box: Toe. Jam. And Earl. Three. All Funked Up.

– It seems that the N.E.S. finally has some fresh competition. A new 8-bit gaming system is headed our way; a collaboration between JAKKS and Nickelodeon dubiously named “Nickelodeon TV Games”.  Nickelodeon TV Games is a handheld system that connects to your TV. Not a console unit per se, for all there will be is a controller that plugs into your TV. No box, no cube, no sphere, or any other sort of geometric shape. Games to be released include those based on Rugrats, The Wild Thornberries, and SpongeBob SquarePants.

– In the footsteps of critically faulted WCW Backstage Assault, THQ is working on a wrestling game that not only features no wrestling ring, but also features no actual wrestlers.  WWE Crush Hour, slated to be released in March of 2003,  is to be of the car combat genre, and will most likely suck.

– Sources at Infrogames, Inc. say that the latest installment of their game beloved by trailer park dwellers across the nation, Deer Hunter 2003, will feature “more detailed environments [than previous Deer Hunters], including grass, brushes, and roots”.  Debate on whether or not this hunting simulator will also feature details such as dirt, the sky, and deer, is on going.

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From 2002 to 2013

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