GameCola fans and writers describe their favorite (and sometimes least favorite) games of all time.
Josephine Smothers’s Top 10 Least-Favorite Games
10. Tetris (NES) – I know a lot of people really like this game, but I think it sucks! The graphics are archaic (especially compared to more recent titles), the music as well, and the whole concept is just lame! Falling blocks from the sky destroy lines of similar blocks? Cha — right.
9. Diddy Kong Racing (N64) – What a poor excuse for a Mario Kart clone! I don’t even know who half of these characters are! Tiptop the Turtle, WTF? Conker the Squirrel?? Who are these animals?!
8. Dr. Mario (NES) – Another stupid puzzle game, just like Tetris. Man! Why do games suck so much? It’s just like Tetris, except with pills and viruses. Jeez, everyone knows Mario is a PLUMBER! Duh! Not a doctor!
7. Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES) – Easily one of the worst of the Mario series. Although, I supposed it IS hard to compete with such luminaries as Mario is Missing and Mario is Found. Who’s bright idea was it to let Mario turn into a stone statue, anyway?
6. The Bouncer (PS2) – OMG! This game is SO short! I beat it in like an hour, WTF? Where are all the cutscenes, man? And the gameplay? And the bouncing, for that matter? Not even a trampoline in sight!
5. Dragon Warrior Monsters (GBC) – Duh, it’s just Pokémon with monsters. Who wants to play that kiddy crap? Certainly not me! Bring on the Nascar games, man, and keep this lame monster collecting poo away from me!
4. Crusin’ USA (N64) – This game is so unbelievably unrealistic! Like t hey would EVER hold races in the middle of busy streets. And OMG, Redwood Forrest SO doesn’t look ANYTHING like that! Aarg, stupid old-school games.
3. Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES) – The only thing that could be worse than Super Mario Bros. 3… I can’t believe they took out all the Goombas and Turtles and stuff! And throwing vegetables? Pft, if I wanna do that, I’ll do it at the dinner table, thanks.
2. Goldeneye (N64) – The. Worst. FPS. Ever. It can’t even COMPARE to Duke Nukem 64, they’re not even in the same LEAGUE! And James Bond is soo stupid, and sexist. Double oh seven, more like double oh suck!
1. Ninja Gaiden (NES) – I’ve only played this game for like five minutes, but I think that I can say without a doubt that it is the worst game I’ve ever played. The graphics are terrible, the gameplay is sluggish, and it stars a NINJA! How RANDOM is that, let alone dumb?! Who comes up with this crap, anyway?