What’s up! Some of you long-time GameCola readers may remember me; actually, you all should remember me because I really haven’t been gone all that long. Paul and I had a , let’s say, disagreement. Paul wanted to pay me in Animal Crackers for my reviews, these reviews that I put blood, sweat, and tears into. What’s wrong with Animal Crackers, you say? Well, nothing — nothing at all. I would have just preferred to have been paid in cold, hard, O, The Oprah Magazine monthly subscriptions. Paul refused, and I had no choice to to carry on.. somehow… some way.
Fate has left the two of us here in a place called Campbell Hall, a mere three stories away from each other. At first it was awkward; I tried to avoid Paul at all costs. And then, one day, I awoke to rose petals scattered about my bed. A trail of them followed from my bed out into the hall, down the staircase to Paul’s room. I opened the door with exotic expectations, and there was Paul, holding a stack of O, The Oprah Magazines, a strange light emanating from behind him, his red hair flowing in some mystery wind. So, here I am, reviewing Devil May Cry (well, not actually reviewing it, but boring you with tales of homoerotic and Animal Crackers).
By now, I’m sure most regular videogame players have either heard of or played Devil May Cry. In fact, its sequel has been released for quite some time, but it kind of flopped. But enough about the future! The year is 2001, way back when. Earth has just been graced with the presence of a new hero: dual handgun-toting, sword-swinging badass in red, Dante. Half-man, half-demon, all that good stuff. And that’s all the game is really based upon.
Story usually comes second in most of these action/adventure games (especially Metal Gear Solid; there’s hardly a cutscene in the whole game!), and DMC is no exception. Something about demons, the world endangered, you know how it goes. Who the hell cares? You have a sword and two big guns, you wanna blast/stab a bunch of weird puppet demons, and you want to do it soon. Don’t worry, Devil May Cry, no one’s holding your cliché story against you. I mean, the game’s got lava-spitting giant spiders and huge electric two-headed 
owl things—let’s not get greedy. Devil May Cry has just enough to its story to glue the pieces of the game together and keep it flowing from different scenes.
Aesthetically, the game is beautiful, even a year and a half after its release date. The camera behaves a lot like the camera in Resident Evil—usually watching the action from a single viewpoint. It’s kind of an odd choice by the designers, but it works nonetheless. It does allow for some beautiful scenery and (usually) a constant take on the action. I approve. You should too.
Bosses and general enemies are really impressive. I really like the big lava spider thing that I keep talking about, as you may have noticed. The electric two-headed-owl thing—that is kind of weird. And by weird, I mean stupid. But once again, that’s all right. There is still an army of ghosts with scissors and shotgun wielding puppets. Don’t you love my zany descriptions of all these crrrrrrazy enemies?
Anyway, it’s time to get serious here. Where were we? Oh, yes, I was going to talk about Paul’s overwhelming sexiness and the stack of O, The Oprah Magazines stacked up on my bed. Wait, controls and gameplay, and all that good stuff. Yeah. You won’t be let down.
Dante really kicks ass, especially with the wide variety of weapons you can wield against your enemies. Handguns, grenade launchers, gauntlets and swords, you can use it all and then some. I know you gamers, always greedy, always asking for more. All right, so if you kick enough ass, you can actually become 100% demon for a little while and really create some chaos. Depending on your main weapon, you might become a winged lightning demon or a walking badass inferno. It’s all up to you. This also adds another dimension to gameplay, kind of like a secret weapon against those other demons that seem to gang up on weakling humans all the time.
Let’s say you beat Devil May Cry. And, for some reason, you still want more. The game actually has a pretty high replay value. You can continue playing through the game a second time, only this time things are way harder. Psssst! I’ve even heard rumors of unlockable characters and stuff if you beat the game enough/are really bored and obsessed. So Capcom really has proven itself again with this great action game. And it’s true to the name: plenty of action; a straightforward, no-BS plot; and the best character that Capcom has created since Mega Man.
