Carbonated News (December 2003)

- Fans of the Dragon Warrior series of video games have something to look forward too... possibly.  Square Enix is currently working on an updated version of Dragon Warrior V, to be released exclusiv

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DQV– Fans of the Dragon Warrior series of video games have something to look forward too… possibly.  Square Enix is currently working on an updated version of Dragon Warrior V, to be released exclusively on the PlayStation 2 console.  Of course, though, right now only a Japanese release has been released.  They’ll be getting this DWV remake in the first quarter of 2004, while we’ll most likely be stuck importing the title.  Enix never was very kind to us like that.  *sigh*.  The life of an American gamer is so tragic.

– Didn’t I just write about this last month?  No, wait, that was something about a Street Fighter compilation.  My bad.  Or was it Mega Man?  There’s too many of these darn things floating around nowadays.  Not that I’m complaining.  Anyway, what I’m talking about now is the latest video game compilation — a release that will actually be seen on this side of the Earth — : The Legend of Zelda Collector’s Edition.  This GameCube bundle will sport the two Zelda games for NES and the two Zelda games for N64.  (Link to the Past is left out because it was released on GBA fairly recently, and Wind Waker is left out because… well.. you figure it out, Einstein.)  This compilation will also feature some sort of bonus material relating to the Zelda series.  The disc will not be sold on its own, but rather it will be included in a bundle with the GameCube console.  However, if you already own a GameCube, you can obtain this mega-compilation by purchasing Mario Kart: Double Dash!! (GCN), Mario Party 5 (GCN), 1080: Avalanche (GCN), or Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (GBA), and then sending in some stupid rebate form or something.  Or you can obtain the disc if you’re some wahoo who wants to subscribe or renew a subscription to Nintendo Power.  For the love of Baxter Stockman, how much longer will I have to wait until I can get my claws on a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles compilation?

– GameCola would like to pay respect to one of the great software developers of yesteryear, Microprose, which was put to sleep this passed month after putting out the fantastic Dungeons and Dragons: Heroes game for Xbox.  Microprose is perhaps most famous for developing Sid Meier’s Civilization for the PC, but it was also the mastermind behind the much-loved Pirates! Gold series of games.  Our hearts and prayers go out to those who lost their jobs following the death of this fabulous company, and we hope that they don’t have to try very hard to find new jobs.

– Since XI was released very recently for the PC, it only makes sense that Square Enix would start dishing out some alluring details of its next role-playing game: Final Fantasy XII.  According to some publication called “Jump Magazine”, FFXII will star a boy named Van and a girl named Arche… or something like that.  In an absolutely shocking turn of events, one that left me completely dumbfounded with surprise, Final Fantasy is said to feature both airships and chocobos.  I haven’t been this surprised since I learned that Mario Party 5 will, in fact, feature Mario.  Look for this game sometime next year.  Perhaps.

– This has been a slow news month.  I would write something about that guy who supposedly completed Super Mario Bros. 3 in eleven minutes, but Matt already has that covered in “… of the Month“.  So I’ll just say that I think the whole thing is malarkey, and then leave it at that.  Well, no, I won’t quite leave it at that.  Nevermind.  If I were a teenage girl, right now I’d be saying “I lied”.  (That’s the hip thing to do now, you know.  Saying that you lied when you really mean that you messed up.  It’s true.  I’ve heard it around.)  This guy.. I don’t know, man.  I bet he sucks at all the levels he didn’t play in the movie.  After all, he did warp through 3/4 of the game.  I’d like to see him beat the whole thing in like a half-hour.  I bet he can’t do it.  I bet he’d get stuck towards the end of World 2, where you have the level with that atrocious demon-sun.  And people call this guy a Mario Master.  Readers, you can’t be considered a master of any game unless you can actually complete the entire game.  Just rushing through a handful of levels doesn’t earn you that title.  If he CAN beat all the other levels, then that’s just fine and dandy.  But I don’t see any proof that he can.  And until I see proof, then to me, this guy is nothing more than someone who may or may not have spent way too much time mastering a bunch of levels, depending on whether or not he did actually cheat.  Anyway, that’s all for now.  Scram, kid.  Go read some reviews.

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