Narrator: Yes, they get to the ship!
Render: The ship!
Render: After all our hard effort, we’re finally here, at THE SHIP!!
????: Not so fast!
Narrator: Silence! I smite the nameless person, good-bye. ON TO THE SHIP!
Rivers: The ship, the ship, we’re off to board the ship!
The ship, the ship, I hope we will not slip!
The ship, the ship, we’re finally at the ship!
The ship, the ship… the ship the ship the ship!
Render: Who was that guy he just smited, anyway?
Narrator: Not important, get on the damned ship.
Render: Jeez, he’s been really impatient since the last episode.
Jonathan: Indeed, perhaps some medication would help.
Enrique: Let’s just get on the ship.
Rivers: Good times.
Render: Wait… never mind. To the ship!
Narrator: And so the group made their way merrily to the ship!
Narrator Two: I’d like to apologize for my colleague’s outbursts as of late. Rest assured that we here at the International Association of Narrators (IAN) do not approve of such actions, and will do everything in our power to correct this problem.
Narrator: What? Are you firing me?!
Narrator Two: No, but we are limiting your power of narration from here on out. You are now only authorized to handle the narration for Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VII of Trelenodora and his companions. Understood?
Narrator: Narrator grumbles and silently accepts his new UNFAIRLY appointed position.
Narrator Two: Now, without further ado, we continue with our meanwhile.
n00b: Quiet down, everyone! It’s time to start the meeting. Over the past few installments of The Gates of Life, it has become apparent that the entire story is centering around the merry adventurings of “Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VII of Trelenodora”, and his crew and their conflicts with the dreaded Barin gang. This leaves the rest of us, who are just as important as they are, with negligible roles. I mean, some of us have barely even been introduced!
Jordan: Yeah! I wanna be in the show! I mean, lately I’m just feeling so left out, nobody even cares about me. And I mean I love Liaunde so much so I’ve been able to pass the time thinking about her, without too much crying, but I still feel like the writer doesn’t even care, you know?
Liaunde: I agree! I mean, I am a princess! Someone who should be treasured by everyone who comes in contact with me! It’s not that I’m vain, or anything, it’s just that I really am an amazingly wonderful and beautiful person, and I want everyone to acknowledge that! I’m sick and tired of this %#^## @#%# bull #$$@ every %#%^# month where I don�t @%@%^ get any @%#$%%# &$%# #@$ time in the #%&$ episode! Its total #^%@#&$%!!!
Jordan: She’s right! Baby, I love you so much!! I just thought up a new song for you from my heart:
Baaaaby, I love you so muuuch,
Baaaaby, I long for your tooouch,
Baaaaby, You are the one I adooore,
And no matter what they say, you�re not a whore.
Liaunde: Aww, baby! That’s so sweet! BUT NOT WHEN I’M $@%#ing TALKING!!
n00b: Ok… Well that’s certainly enough out of you two… You there, in the back, would you like to say something?
Tryn: Yes, I think I would!
Narrator Two: GASP! It’s Tryn! The woman who, not too long ago, was crushed in a battle with Jonathan the Minotaur!
Tryn: Yes, it’s really me! Muahahahahahahahaha!
n00b: That’s right! We will show those main characters that they cannot kill us so easily! After all, I am a vampire, and with that comes several special abilities, one of which is to turn people who have been crushed into an amorphous blob back into normal living humans!
Jordan: Please baby! I love you!
n00b: …Is anyone even paying attention?
Tryn: I am! Muahahahahahahaha!
n00b: ANYway. n00b’s alliance will soon show the whole WORLD what we’re made of!
Tryn: Muahahahahahaha ohohohohohohoho! And by the way, I go by Tryn now because it�s easier to say AND spell! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Narrator Two: My, my, this sure is quite the twist! Will this newly founded n00b’s alliance pose a threat to Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VII of Trelenodora and his crew?
Barin: Ugh… what happened?
Barin: Oh, right… you can’t talk.
Barin: Oh yeah! Now I remember! Those bastards threw Dugo and Najen in that direction, and then knocked me out. We’ve got to find our friends, Apul!
Narrator Two: And so, Barin and Apul set off in search of Najen and Dugo, who were still lost in the desert.
Dugo: Ach… That’s IT! I can’t carry you anymore, Najen!
Najen: We’ll I can’t walk in this burning hot sand!
Dugo: Too bad.
Narrator Two: Dugo dumped Najen, quite brusquely, onto the hot sand. Najen quickly began hopping around, desperately trying to cool her burning feet.
Najen: Ow, ow, ow!! Ah… wha…? What is this?
Dugo: What did you step on? Let me guess, it’s a scorching hot metal plate and now you absolutely CANNOT be expected to walk on your own and I have to carry you again, right?
Najen: No… Though it definitely is metal… Let me just pull it out of the sand. Hm… It’s some kind of whistle…
Narrator Two: Oh ho ho! But it was not just any whistle Najen found! No sir! Definitely not your average, everyday whistle there!
Render: So, Large Stone Wall, what happened while we were away from the ship?
Large Stone Wall: Oooooooh, noooothiiiiing. Aaaaa feeeeew ooooof yooooouuur creeeewmaaaaates leeeeeft, thoooooouugh�
Render: What? Who?
Strange Creature: Allow me. There are two that have gone, and I believe their names are Lianude and Jordan.
Jonathan: Weren’t those your high school friends, Rivers?
Rivers: They aren’t exactly friends but… whatever. It really doesn’t matter, they probably would have just annoyed us, anyway.
Render: In that case, let’s raise the anchor and be off!
Strange Creature: Before we go, Large Stone Wall, Generic, and I have a request.
Render: And what is your request:
Strange Creature: Well, we aren’t much the swashbuckling adventurer type… so we were wondering if you could drop us off on this mysterious island on your way… We heard there were some mysterious ancient ruins on the island, and we would like to check them out.
Render: Well, if that’s what you want, we will certainly honor your request. Are you all sure this is what you want to do?
Strange Creature: Indeed.
Large Stone Wall: Yeesssss� Thhaaaaaank yoooooouu fooooooor yoooooouur hooosssspiiitaaaaaliiityyy
Narrator: And so this narrator begins the first assignment of his much less strenuous job. Captain Thomas “7-Eye” Render VII of Trelenodora agrees to let the three off at the mysterious island, and the group raises anchor and sails off. Unbeknownst to them, trouble’s a brewin’ not too far away.
Which Gate Do You Choose?
Jonathan: Oh my!
This poll ends on September 7.