I’ll tell you right now, I’ve got Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and Metroid Prime 2: Echoes waiting for me on my GameCube and Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly on my Xbox from Christmas, and I still played XIII first.
I don’t get it. I just don’t. This game is FUN, goddamnit! Why with all the hostility here? XIII is cel-shaded, looks awesome, and has a great story to boot. Look, here’s the point: I’m old enough to have graduated college and gotten my degree. I love video games just as much as the next guy. But I grew up on the Sega Master System. Back then I had time to play through 60 hours of Phantasy Star. No more. Now I’ve got my job, my life, and zero free time. Therefore, XIII is perfect for me. You can play it in short spurts, admire the graphics, and have time to appreciate the game for what it is: a fun FPS with an awesome storyline. This was, after all, the house that Ubisoft built. Their recent kick-ass lineup includes Prince of Persia and the vastly underrated Beyond Good & Evil.
I thought I really followed most game reviews. I was wrong.
Everybody said, “So borrrrinnng, so cookie-cutter, so blah!” Screw you guys. I loved Halo 2 just as much as the next guy, but c’mon! An FPS is an FPS, love it or hate it. The only time one stands above the other is when one is the original Doom and the other is Turok: Evolution. I’m not one to nitpick, but how is the newest Final Fantasy (not online) different from Lunar on my Sega CD? It’s all about presentation, people. Some games have it, Bubsy 3D does not.
This shooter is F-U-N. I had an excellent time playing through this fucker. I absolutely loved the amnesia story (which came first, The Bourne Identity book or the XIII comic book?), the different assassins, the voice acting (David Duchovny, Adam West, Eve, etc.). Sure, it isn’t the most original game or story in the history of all things, but I think it rocks.
If you’re playing this game through for the first time, here’s a pro tip: Don’t get drunk. You’ll never EVER figure out how to work the grappling hook if you do. Onwards…tell me you’re not hooked the first time you fire a headshot with your crossbow. The game freezes and little boxes pop-up—comic book style—and you see your intended victim get said arrow through his noggin. Sweet!
All in all, this game just screams production values. Top-tier actors, great script from a great comic book, great graphics. Just what the hell is EGM talking about?
