Well, well, well. It’s that time of the month again, here at the ‘Cola. No, no, not THAT time of the month—the SUPER PSYCHIC THUMB time! Or, you know, whatever the kids are calling it this week. It’s hard to keep up with my legions of fanatical fans, you know. HOWEVER! I did escape the chaos that is my overloved life for just long enough to bring you, THE PEOPLE!, a BRAND NEW edition of the GREATEST collection of words in one place on the entire interwebz. Congrats! You really made out well on this one.
Family Trainer: Action World (Wii)
Family Trainer combines all that wacky movement strange people love about the Wii with the Power Pad AND minigames! Boy, oh boy, doesn’t that sound 
fun! See, as many people have realized, a major downfall of the Wii is that, if played properly, only your arms get tired. Now, that is a HUGE problem—our videogame systems need to be more consistent in how they tire our bodies. This game fixes this problem, however, by including the Power Pad! WORK THOSE LEGS! The Wii is quickly becoming the only form of entertainment that one will ever need!
Well, of course, that only rings true if the entertainment one enjoys is getting sweaty over short, gimmicky games. Seriously though, this game probably represents my own personal hell of videogames. My ventures into the future have brought back these results. If you enjoy videogames— and, since you own a Wii, we know you don’t—you will probably not be a fan of this game. However! If you DON’T enjoy videogames, then this will be right up your alley!
Captain Eric’s Psychic Thumb says… Thumbs Down.
TNA Wrestling (PS3)
There has been much said about a lack of quality titles thus far for the 
PlayStation 3. Well, today, I am here to inform THE WORLD that this is no longer the case. Yes—sometime, in the kinda maybe nearish future, you will be let in on the WONDER that is TNA Wrestling: the videogame.
Now, one might wonder why this wrestling game is so special, and what makes it different from all the rest. Well, it is quite simple, really: This game is made by people who GET wrestling. Remember that guy? You know, that guy, from like three or four years ago, who you were mildly uninterested in? Hell yeah, he’s in this game! His third cousin? You betcha! That overweight guy that you saw having trouble getting out of his seat at the Denny’s? World Champ, baby!
Other than an all-star cast, this game brings forth some of the most realistic simulated fake fighting that a mere human could possibly comprehend! I mean, you can actually see the guy lift people up and drop them on their heads! IT’S AMAZING! So, when you want to end the sob story that is your PS3 collection, rush to this game! You know…once it comes out, and all.
Captain Eric’s Psychic Thumb says… Thumbs Up!
Alvin and the Chipmunks (Multi)
If there is one thing that companies love, it’s money. They all love them some nice, hard, cold cash. Some of their favorites methods of making money include cashing in on popular fads as well as bringing back long forgotten icons of your childhood. Well, thankfully for everyone, Brash Entertainment is using BOTH methods of suck to bring us ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE GAME. Not only that, but they are making it a Guitar Hero-esque rhythm game. Are you pumped ? Can you feel it! OH HELLS YEAH! This game is gonna be good.
Yeah, OK, I’m lying. It’s the worst idea for a game since…well, since Napoleon Dynamite. If you enjoy bad music that you didn’t want to listen to ten years ago as well as lots and LOTS of pain, you will LOVE this game. If not, you might just want to just pretend that this section of the article isn’t real. It was all a bad dream! OoooOOoo.
Captain Eric’s Psychic Thumb says… Thumbs Down.
MySims (Wii)
Everybody loves The Sims because it’s just like real life, only easier and with a 
reset button! The only one true downfall of The Sims is that, well, the people in it are kind of ugly. Face it—no one wants to be ugly. But that is all changed with the Wii’s new MySims! Aww! Look how cute the lil’ Sims are! So adorable.
OK, so, the gameplay might be eerily similar to that of some other super cute games found on the Wii. Means nothing, you hear me? NOTHING! Any way you slice it, the game is cute and fun AND has the Sims named attached to it! What could be better. Really, I ask you. What more in life do you want than cute Sims. I know you will struggle to find a answer.
Captain Eric’s Psychic Thumb says… Thumbs Up!
Cruis’n (Wii)
So, have you played a racing game before? Yeah, you know you have. Remember that game? Welcome to this game.
Captain Eric’s Psychic Thumb says... Thumbs Down.
Well, there you have it folks—another FANTASTIC edition of the THUMBS in the books. Psychic Thumbs: the one and only place on the Internet that will NEVER, EVER, steer you wrong! Everybody knows that they can trust my psychic thumbs, so be sure to tune into GameCola next month to see what magic I have concocted for your reading pleasure.
