(Editor’s note: This article was originally published in the November 2007 issue of GameCola, back when GameCola was published in a monthly online magazine format.)
Trenton, NJ 08619
November 1, 2007
I have nothing more to say to you.
By which I mean, I do have more to say. To you.
But I’m not happy about it. Saying things to you, that is. I’d rather not, actually—frankly, I’m upset, and if you don’t know why, maybe it’s about time we reconsidered where this relationship is going.
Last month, I made a request of you. A simple, simple request. And I was totally, totally ignored.
I will not be having this!
In two issue’s time, our HOLY GOD HOW AMAZING IS THIS January issue is coming up, and, in order to make it all that I can, I need your help. Our January issue—sometimes known as the New Year’s Awards Special—is a spectacular the likes of which only your favorite videogame magazine could perpetuate. We bring in guest stars. We bring in brand new staff writers. We debut brand new columns. We give out awards to the best games of the year.
And we also call upon our readers to help us out.
For this spectacular to be as spectacular as it can possibly be, we need your help, and there’s two paths you can choose. You can either join our staff as a regular contributor—thus adding to the intrigue of the January issue by bolstering our numbers alongside several other devoted fans—OR, if you’re not interested in the harsh demand of writing one entire article a month, you can contribute something to just the January issuse.
I’ve made up these fantastic flow charts to help you figure out what’s up:
If FLOWCHARTS don’t make you want to help us out, then by GAWD, I don’t know what will.
FLOWCHARTS! Seriously, just look at those. Took me like a frickin’ half hour to make those. (And about half that time was spent looking for the “arrow” symbol.)
Well, I feel like I’ve written a lot now, so I think I’ll just stop this thing soon. We’ve got a great issue for you this month—we’ve got Peter Payne, the owner of J-List, hanging out with us in Versus Mode; we’ve got Richo coming back to the States for a visit; we’ve got a very old woman; we’ve got Princess Bride: the game; and we’ve got a slash fanfic starring two GameCola writers.
All in all, we’ve got more awesome than I think you can handle.
Care to prove me wrong? Read on.
editor in chief