Welcome to “The Ten Reasons,” where I discuss ten reasons why I like or dislike a game. This month, I thought I’d extend a warm welcome to new GameCola writer Nathaniel Hoover. See, he wrote a review for Mega Man on the NES this month, and I’d thought I’d show some solidarity by doing the exact same thing.
Ah, Mega Man. A classic game, one that will live forever in the hearts and minds of gamers everywhere…or something like that. To be honest, I couldn’t beat any of the Mega Man games without a Game Genie or an emulator. But I still played them, and they’re not half bad.
Reasons Why I Like Mega Man
1. Twice the Boss Fights
Well, of course, probably the best thing about the Mega Man series is the repetition of boss fights. Not only do you have to fight each boss once, but at the end of the game, you have to fight all the bosses a second time, back to back to back!
It’s one of the ultimate tests of gaming skill, and besides for that, it’s totally awesome to fight certain bosses a second time. I mean, we’ve all played games with awesome boss fights, right? Fights so awesome that you keep a save file of the space right before the boss so you can redo the fight as many times as you want? Everybody does that, right?
OK, maybe it’s just me. But if that’s the case, this game caters directly to me, so I like it.
2. Ice Man Tunnels
Graphics-wise, the things that impressed me most were the tunnels you fall down in Ice Man’s land. Those are some pretty cool-looking tunnels. The graphics crew must have put in a lot of work on those.
3. Hall o’ Guts Man
I’d like to give another thumbs-up to the graphics crew for the random Hall o’ Guts Man. It’s so awesome-looking that I don’t care if there’s no legitimate reason for it to exist.
4. Clone Boss
This game has a surprise boss: the Mega Man clone. No matter what suit Mega Man wears, the clone wears it, too. Switching suits to find a weakness works for the other bosses, but it doesn’t work on this guy.
Personally, I think that’s pretty cool. Even nowadays, it’s hard to find an interactive boss, rather than a boss that just repeats its attacks over and over again.
Although, it is total BS that he does three times as much damage as Mega Man. Come on. If he’sreally a Mega Man clone, he should do the same amount of damage that Mega Man does. Seriously.
5. The Plot
I really love it when NES games wait all the way until you beat the game before they tell you what the plot is. Seriously, you go charging through ten levels of fighting random enemies, and it’s only after you’re done that you learn why you bothered to do it in the first place.
It’s sort of like America’s foreign policy! Yay!
6. Mega Man in his Skivvies
Actually, maybe this game could have used a little more plot, because once Mega Man beats Dr. Wily, he runs along a scenic skyline. In his boxers.
Could somebody please explain to me the story behind this? Why does defeating Dr. Wily make Mega Man decide to strip down and go jogging? And while we’re at it, why does Mega Man look like a nine-year-old boy?
Well, in any case, I thought Mega Man stripping was funny the first time I saw it, which is why I put it on my list of reasons why I like the game. Which leads me to…
Reasons Why I Dislike Mega Man
7. Jumping from Block to Block
Ugh. There’s a really painful part of the game where you have to jump from block to block, only the blocks disappear every two seconds. So you have to memorize the entire eight-part jumping sequence ahead of time. Totally lame.
Not to mention the fact that the jumps need to be timed perfectly right, or else you’ll fall. It’s far too difficult for me to beat, even with the help of save states. Bah, humbug!
8. Ice Man
Ice Man? This guy is a boss? Give me a break. I’m not scared of the Ice Climbers’ long-lost brother.
9. Platform Drop
Basically, you’re on the conveyor belt platforms, but you have to jump whenever the platform goes over one of those black gaps on the belt.
Just like the disappearing platforms, this is a jumping challenge that’s too difficult for me to beat. The platforms move too quickly, so you have no time to prepare your jumps unless you’ve got the stage memorized. You fall and die all the time on this challenge, which is why it sucks. At least you don’t die on the block jump challenge.
10. Red Dots
In this game, whenever you kill bad guys, you can get a variety of goodies, such as health refills and power refills. But more often than not, you get red dots.
Red dots? What they do? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. They give you points, which is totally useless. This is not an arcade game, and there is no high score list, so NOBODY NEEDS POINTS.
Health refills? You need health refills. You need them really, REALLY badly. But instead, you get the stupid red dots all the time. I hate the red dots for being useless and actively sabotaging my ability to beat the game.
Well, those are my ten reasons for Mega Man. Hope you enjoyed them, and see you next month, everyone!