Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Midterm elections are coming up in November, and already the televisions are being filled with political advertisements. It seems that almost everyone wants to become a congressman, senator, or governor.

Of course, running for public office is very tough today, because people have kind of noticed that the economy has not improved one bit since Change Fest ’08. Apparently, the government’s plan of spending trillions of dollars they don’t actually have is not the best way to become financially stable. Who knew?

Needless to say, the Democratic and Republican parties have been disbanded due to gross incompetence. This election day, the competition will not be between Democrats and Republicans. Instead, it will be between Team Edward and Team Jacob.

GameCola has been asked to choose which Twilight team they prefer. It was a hard decision for us to make, because Team “Bella Learns to Stop Being So Overly Dependent Upon the Men in Her Life” was not one of the available options. However, after a lot of thought, we have come up with a list of pros and cons for each candidate.

Pros for Team Jacob:

• Jacob is a teenage werewolf.

Cons for Team Jacob:

• Jacob is a character in the Twilight series.

Pros for Team Edward:

• “Edward” sounds kind of like “Edgeworth,” the star of Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth. See, this article is totally related to videogames.
• Plus, Edgeworth kind of looks like a vampire.

Cons for Team Edward:

• Edward is a character in the Twilight series.

As you can clearly see, the cons outweigh the pros no matter which option you pick. Therefore, GameCola has decided to go with…drum roll please…Team GameCola! Because GameCola is clearly a better option than Twilight.