Do you hate doing stuff? Do you have an iPhone? Do you like RPGs? If the answer to these questions is “yes,” then read on, my friends, because I have a treat for you.
As a rule, I generally don’t like doing things. Aside from gaming and cask ales, I struggle to get involved with pretty much anything. This would be fine if I had a full-time home-help, but I don’t (yet), so for most of my adult life I have grudgingly participated in doing the laundry, washing up, going running, etc.
About two months ago, however, a beautiful iPhone app entered my life and changed all this. The app is called Epic Win, and it is a to-do list in the form of an RPG. Unfortunately it doesn’t do your chores for you, but with its sense of humour and good visuals, it does make them a little bit less shit.
The game begins with the option to choose a character. I picked the priestess, but you could also be a warrior, a dwarf, an undead skeleton or…a treeman berserker (don’t choose the tree—no one likes a person who chooses trees over warriors). Once you have picked your character (not the tree), you can then start entering your tasks. After selecting the due date for your task, you then assign it to a trait (strength, stamina, social, intellect or spirit) before deciding how many experience points it deserves.
For example, on my to-do list I have:
“Phone the bank, tell them to shove their £30 charge up their ass.”
This is basically just a phone call, so I have given it a 50 out of 300 and assigned it to “spirit.” I also have:
“Go turd hunting in the back garden. Dispose of all the dog’s turds.”
This is not a fun job. In a world of not-fun jobs, this is a superpower; therefore, I have given it 250 out of 300 and assigned it to “stamina.”
As you literally battle your tasks into completion and gain experience points, your character levels up—I am now the “Wench of Undesirable Tasks”—and you pick up loot as you travel further throughout the land. Amazing!
It is worth noting that nothing actually happens in this game; there’s no boss, no end, and pretty much no storyline. For some, this may be disappointing, but this is a to-do list after all, not World of Warcraft. Saying that, I do feel that it would benefit from a tiny bit more playability. For example, the loot you collect serves no purpose whatsoever, but I think this app would be unstoppable if you could use what you collect to interact with the map or improve your character.
Maybe the simplicity of Epic Win will result in the novelty eventually wearing off for some, but right now it remains firmly on my homescreen. It does enough to trick me into getting excited when the washing basket fills up, and if it can add any level of fun to cleaning the toilet after my boyfriend has had a curry, then I’m grabbing it with both surgical-gloved hands.
All in all this is a fun and imaginative visual treat that is actually useful—and it only costs $2.99/£1.79 to get involved. Happy days!
Check out the trailer: