People of Liberty City, I owe you an apology. I just can’t stop killing y’all.
It wasn’t always like this. I remember the good times. You would too, if you weren’t dead. There was a time when we could co-exist peacefully, like man and fish. I could drive past you on the street and you’d still be alive when I reached the corner. Sure, maybe I’d give you a little love-tap with the bumper on the way past, but that was just for fun. I remember when we could cross paths in an Algonquin alley and I wouldn’t even firebomb you to death.
As I stomped the last juices of life from one of you recently, I paused and thought, Why am I like this now? Here’s why: Lately I’ve been killing people in the real world, too. When not at work I spend most of my time either playing volleyball or murdering folk. With no one to supervise me on those analogue streets I can do as I like. And I like clubbing, stabbing and shooting.
In fact, fair Liberty citizens, I take it all back. I won’t apologise; I’m just a product of my environment. I’m not to blame, the system is—a system that lets me follow this path of violence. A government who created a place where I can throw people off ledges and grenade grannies. Look what that’s led to for you poor, innocent, weak, flammable people of GTA.
Perhaps I should sue someone for what they’ve allowed me to do. Or perhaps I should shotgun their faces off.