Archive for Author: Meteo Xavier

Meteo Xavier has been gaming for a quarter of a century and has quite a bit to talk about from that era. He is the author of "Vulgarity For the Masses" and you can find more on him and his game reviews at www.jslawhead.com.

  • Breath of Fire III (PS1)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on

    More like "Breath of Fresh Air" III...except without the three part, since I didn't much care for the first two. Let me tell you a little story. The year was 2001, and people were living large, fast,

  • Final Fantasy IV (DS)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on Comments1

    I am a huge ***damn Final Fantasy IV fan; haven’t you noticed? I owe nothing short of my life and love to this simple and intimidatingly deep game (17 years later, I’m STILL finding new stuff about it). I literally believe God talks to me through this game, and I don’t give a shit what you … Continue reading "Final Fantasy IV (DS)"

  • Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins (GB)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on

    Aside from (or maybe along with?) being the introduction of Wario, this is a very strange entry into the Mario franchise.

  • The Legend of the Mystical Ninja (SNES)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on Comments1

    My current problem with the gaming journalism culture, both amateur and professional, small and large, known and unknown, is its incessant need to tell me the TOP TEN GAMES I'VE NEVER PLAYED. Top ten

  • The Addams Family (SNES)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on

    When considering the concept of a "movie tie-in," you have to understand beforehand that you are entering the most deceptively innocent chapter of the entire encyclopedia of senseless human tragedy. T

  • Suikoden III (PS2)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on

    The temptation to rip off GameSpot in concising this review with a PROS and CONS section (owned by CNET Networks Entertainment as THE GOOD and THE BAD, a device so deliciously condescending I wonder w

  • ActRaiser 2 (SNES)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on Comments3

    (Editor's note: This article is Part 3 of a three-part series of reviews by Meteo Xavier.) No...no more! No more! *BAM* R.I.P. METEO XAVIER He died the same way he lived—as a virgin. Please donate t

  • Ys / Super R-Type / Mystery Quest

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on Comments3

    (Editor's note: This article is Part 2 of a three-part series of reviews by Meteo Xavier.) Sometimes I wonder if games like these were designed for future generations instead of the ones in which they

  • Quake II (N64)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on Comments4

    What follows is part one of a three-part journey into madness. Meteo X, a man whom God himself deemed unfit for humanity and therefore biologically categorized him as prime rib striplets, found hims

  • Herc’s Adventures (PSX)

    Reviews Reviews by Meteo Xavier on Comments3

    And here we are. The third and least recognizable entry in the ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS trilogy. Lucas really has a way with trilogies, doesn't he? He made the awesome Star Wars trilogy, then he made